This cold open will never not make me laugh

If I wanted to experience Heather I'd have a farmer set fire to me without consequence #spéirgorm

Literally pimping out your presidential candidate for votes is a morally questionable strategy even for Fine Gael #Áras25

I think I've found the skin cream Brendan O'Neill uses on his forehead

I like this or whatever it is that this is. youtube.com/watch?v=jJ0t...

"These days," he said, "if you say you like coddle, you'll be arrested and you'll be thrown in jail."

I don't want to know what dark magic makes too-watery coddle thicken up overnight, it just does right?

I think I've found the skin cream Brendan O'Neill uses on his forehead

THIS KEEPER IS REALLY PUTTING THE 'ARM' IN ARMENIA #COYBIG #IRLARM

You know when Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after? Why did Jill do that? She should have safely made her way back down the hill to administer aid

Four Courts, June 1922

Jim Gavin will always have his historic 7* in a row *days in the presidential campaign #Áras25

Of all Jim Gavin’s gaffes, it turns out it was his spare one that took him down.

The Paper of Record on seeing Catherine Connolly ahead in the polls #aras2025 #aras25

This lump of low quality Chinese electronics has more integrity and more self awareness than most people I know

Put oregano in tonight's coddle. Game changer. 🇮🇹 ♥️ 🇮🇪 (💙) 👌

I think my number 2 is shifting #aras2025 #TonightVMTV

For the "four ball" format, each player should have to hit four balls simultaneously off the tee with a comically big club, then 4 more from where each of the first 4 land. Maybe then I'd watch the Ryder Cup.

Shout out to all you losers who think I give a shit about calcium

the criticism i'm seeing of catherine connolly #áras25

Imagining a biker frog with the knuckle tats "POND SCUM" Delightful

Would Heather Humphreys be out first Monagasque president?

Look what we have here then.

PROFA DEEZ NUTS!!!

Kudos to John Kelly, for very swiftly giving me the answer and solving a fourteen year old mystery! bsky.app/profile/john...

Holy shit, this guy is the gift that keeps on giving. Surely 'Have you ever done blackface at Halloween?' should be one of the first 5 questions asked of a potential election candidate by the sponsoring party.

My two cents: McGregor was facing complete and utter humiliation at the DCC tonight. Not only was he not going to get nominated, he was barely going to get a vote, meaning his whole "DIS IS WHAT DA PEEPLE WANT!!" schtick was about to crumble. So he did what he always does - he tapped.

sex dice sex dice risk of sex dice this grab bag may be horny but a warning will suffice

Was it for this...? 😳

deliveroo delaugheroo deloveroo

Proposing a law where if your house alarm goes off for more than 20 minutes, your doors automatically unlock and people can go in and take whatever

Again - the reason that the Good Friday Agreement locks in the ECHR is that the UK had repeatedly been held accountable by the European Court of Human Rights for human rights breaches during the Troubles - while national courts had failed to do so, even upholding miscarriages of justice

Fuck me, I genuinely thought for a second there that Tesco were selling a beer called 'Sieg Heil'.

Irish pubs have the vibe of a sitting room with that big light off, English pubs have the vibe of a sitting room with the big light on. Change my mind.

If only western leaders were as enraged about literal kneecaping during a genocide by Zionist psychopaths as they are about a band called Kneecap speaking out against that very same grotesque genocide.

This is the energy we need from clowns. Just fucking with everyone, no one is higher than the fool.

Can't belive the entire housing crisis was down to one guy. This Ian fella has to be stopped.

EU food regulation: Parmigiano Reggiano can only be grown in a certain area of Italy. The cows must be fed grass or hay only. Start making it within a day of milking. The wheel must be the same size, and aged for a year. US food regulation: I probably wouldn't eat the radioactive shrimp if I was u

Was it for this...? 😳

Cuttlefish Dundee #ruinafilmbyswappingreptileformollusc

Hot dog 🔥🐶🌭

If you don't automatically read this as "MOTHERFUCKIN HYGIENE" you are a better person than I am.

All 2,048 of my great great (x78) grandparents spontaneously generated from loose clusters of cells floating in the primordial ooze of the Liffey estuary

Gonna start being racist to Irish people with Norman surnames for the craic

Last night I left my bike unlocked in the front garden. Usual position, incorrect state. Today I left the house in autopilot, locked the bike, and tried to cycle it to work. Couldn't figure out what was wrong. Not sure if it's danger or efficiency, entrusting so much of our lives to muscle memory.

At a craft market and this stall was selling crafts for dogs. With no small amount of disappointment in my own grip on the contemporary vernacular, I asked the stallswoman what 'roaching the day away' meant. Readers, I was waaaay off. Any ideas? 🤔

Connections Puzzle #783 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟩🟩🟩🟩

This might be the most gender normative breakfast I've ever made