My mouldy turnover bap looks like a tubby Moldova map

Every house should be designed with a 'Newgrange Mode' so that the inhabitants can feel connected to the passage of the earth around the sun once or twice a year.

I was already having a pretty terrible day, but the video in this article was the last straw. I give up. Humanity is fucked.

Landed to the street I grew up on and a magpie was pecking at the corpse of a pigeon. Life just writes itself.

When St Stephens Green Shopping Centre opened, they had the most Celebrity-packed ad ever in Irish history up to that point. youtu.be/IIs52RkZ0XI?...

My mouldy turnover bap looks like a tubby Moldova map

On a route by bike between Ballsbridge and Heuston Station, it seems odd that I'd be sent through Trinity College, where you cannot cycle. Google maps is usually good at this. #googlemaps #speirgorm

is this the thing they used to find the Higgs boson?

Cannot unsee.

On a route by bike between Ballsbridge and Heuston Station, it seems odd that I'd be sent through Trinity College, where you cannot cycle. Google maps is usually good at this. #googlemaps #speirgorm

Nightmare on Elm Street

Bilbo Baggins’ cooker only has one ring on the hob bit.

My Dub husband just called Coddle Willy-con-carne and that's what I'll be calling it going forward #SpeirGorm

Micheál: A mile you say? Adviser: Yes Taoiseach, that's what they're telling me. Micheál: I thought we'd already met their demands? Adviser: We had thought so sir, yes Micheál: So it wasn't an inch that they wanted? Adviser: Apparently not sir, no

Can these guys ever talk about their wives in a non creepy way?

Compared to Irish offerings, the British are neanderthals when it comes to standard potato crisps. That said, I've just had a brace of walkers cheesey wotsits and fuck me, they have us in the corn based snack round.

This chonky ass deer fireguard is for sale in a nearby antique shop. Went in fully intent on buying it but she wanted €350.

We can't let Keanu Reeves' blood oxygen level drop below 110m³/h.

Pigeon Street

When Graham Norton was on the Late Late Show yonks ago, Gay Byrne asks him "So, growing up in Bandon, did you realise that you were different?" Graham playfully said "Because I was protestant?" and Gay, having been geared up for the gay angle but not the religious one goes "You're a Protestant???"

When life presents you with the options of you either having been a terrible person or having made bad decisions, it's hard not to root for the latter.

Don't forget the clocks go forward tonight, as they do every night, pitiless and unstoppable, silent witnesses to our inevitable decay.

Fuck - and I can't stress this enough - this

How long did everyone get this morning between waking up and then realising that Ireland lost on penalties last night and won't be going to the world cup this summery? I got about 15 seconds. It was glorious.

Seven qualifiers on simultaneously right now. Half the goals scored are in cze v irl #coybig #czevirl

Headline writer wins.🤞

'Kinnegad and Tobago' popped into my head for some reason and now it's in yours

God, I loved Dynasty. Just insanely camp

Irish Times recipe uncannily aware of my emotional fragility

My local residents' association has also decided not to get involved.

What To Know About ‘Sinners’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-sinners/

Easy peel

My wife and I danced to this song at our wedding. She has passed now, due to getting a paint can stuck on her head and then wandering through a construction site taking massive Ls the entire time until finally being crushed by a pile of steel girders and cement. But, what a song

Sacre blanc! Who thought this strip pairing was a good idea? #m6n #fraveng

He wore the RA's Gerry Beret - the kind you find in a second hand store?

If each street in this town had a mayor I'm pretty sure ours would vote in this guy. Struts around like he owns the place, universally popular, no skeletons in the cupboard.

Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡

This is a good analogy. Very useful in carefully controlled settings for specific usages, but unfortunately being widely inserted into everything and used without training or PPE and poisoning a lot of things and people and we’re going to pay a tonne of money to remove it safely in the future

Could we just send Pedro Sanchez to the White House for paddy's day?

Why Stephen's Green should have a full Jurassic Park

Flavor Flav is short for Flavorite Flavor

The best fart noise you will have heard so far today hands down

I'm getting word that someone is posting a screenshot of an old tweet of mine back on xitter and it's doing numbers. It's taking all of my willpower not to go back and settle the score and/or reap some kudos.

"In giraffe terms I fry my potato cakes to a thornicroft pattern." is a sentence I never expected to type yet here we are.

RIP Scrappy-Doo. All the obituaries will lead with how “annoying” he was for three years in his twenties, but I’ll remember the sweet, frail old man who’d wink at me when I asked “Seen any ghosts lately?” as we passed in the hallway, him on his way outside to shit in the street.

East Mayo, last weekend. Magical.

Begob. Never knew this fella was gay. There you go now. As you were.

Couple of Irish cousins over to stay. I asked if they'd like me to cook a curry this evening. One replied "that stuff would drive shite out of a rocking horse".

So this is what happened to @davquinn.bsky.social ?