You really have to wonder, what *is* an impeachable offense at this point? What would it actually take?

Why is this so gd funny? I mean, all these ai assholes can fuck off but man this cracks me up. "force us to obey terms of service" lol

GOD: Noah, I said build an "ark." What the heck is this? NOAH: An arc reactor. GOD: But... NOAH: I AM IRON MAN

More of this, please

Hard to find someone that has lived up to a nickname more than "Boomer" Esiason.

I hope you like a girl with thick sighs

MOVIE EXEC: no idea is a bad idea ME: a farm romance about two feuding sheep who unexpectedly fall in love MOVIE EXEC: get out ME: bleated rivalry

It's high time we separate the fuel cap from the check engine light! I can win a presidential election based on this issue alone, I believe.

This is leading to him suggesting that we abolish the Supreme Court, which continues to be straight from the authoritarian handbook.

It's mind boggling that Trump was -15 in 2019 and then in 2020, during peak covid when he was telling people to stop testing and inject bleach, he actually went *UP* 5 points.

no one will publish my dickensian erotica novel titled “a tale of two titties” and this is a clear case of cancel culture

Reply guy? More like reply influencer.

I think there's other things to worry about. Like our own government killing citizens. This isn't great, but I remember partying in my 20's and not really giving a shit who was there. There was always some turd around, and we always had fun anyway. There's more important things to scream about.

Slept so good I woke up with a massive headache

he’s so close to getting it

Today I looked up an old girlfriend from college. That's one great thing about being a gynecologist.

welcome to bluesky, where the discourse is made up and the likes don't matter

I'm no "ominous" expert, but this seems ominous.

<kermit the frog voice> If you're havin girl problems I feel bad for you son

The more comfortable I am around you, the more noise I make when I stand up. Thoughts and prayers for my wife's ear drums.

my tapeworm was just wondering if you were going to finish all of your fries…?

#nfl #NFL #nflmemes #MLB #nfldraft

Right.. And now people have stopped watching ESPN because of him (it's me, I'm people) and this guy thinks it'd be a great idea to run for president.

Gavin Newsome has always reminded me of the guy Dorian Tyrell becomes when he puts on The Mask

Jesse Jackson hated Barack Obama? 🤔

Well I discovered from the Smartless podcast that Margot Robbie isn't perfect. She apparently can't drive for shit. That being said, I would absolutely give her my car, no questions asked.

Those which hunts had a lot of consequences, iirc. Many more consequences than we've seen for these files.

sorry Pink Floyd, turns out that we needed education. a lot of it. all of the education, really

It’s my party and I’ll emit a high-pitched tone only dogs can hear if I want to

Jfc man what happened to us.. We've fallen so damn far

Getting your rocks off implies the existence of oregasms

I think Republicans are going to get smoked and Trump is going to seize all the voting machines and lock down polling locations and declare themselves the winners. Then I guess we'll see what happens.

She's not wrong. I've been saying for a while that they chose Minnesota specifically because of the riots after George Floyd's murder. But the people of Minnesota were a shining example of situational awareness in helping and defending their neighbors. I couldn't be more proud of them.

Oh I thought you said "neck romancer" no, I'm not into this at all, sorry

I'm sure I know already, but I'd love to hear her answer on who the right people are...

The dow was down 669 points today, can we bring Bondi back in and ask some more questions now or what...

The worst part of this is you can see Bondi enjoying this immensely, smirking as this woman talks about losing her grandfather to Nazis. It's a perfect, crystal clear representation of how conservatives just want to troll liberals. They'll keep supporting Trump just to watch liberals get mad.

Bondi has reached Steven Miller's level of delusion and lying. She thinks she's dunking on people when she's basically tripping over a jump rope laying on the floor. It's incredible to see.

[in the hospital, dying alone, barely breathing] Maybe I...... should have used less conversation enders

I'll admit, sometimes I need someone to hold my hand and guide me towards positivity.

Is there some sort of award for perfectly missing the point?

One ad showed Ai finishing someone's spreadsheet and the guy saying, "let's take the rest of the day off!" They're counting on people being dumb enough to not be alarmed that they'll also be getting laid off. And you know what? They're probably right.

Back to back brutal Super Bowls for Drakes

Of all the places to not have the rights to play the alternative halftime show, X is probably the funniest

No Kings includes Draft Kings

THIS IS A WHOLE SOUTH PARK EPISODE WHERE RANDY TURNS TO CHATGPT TO RUN HIS CANNABIS FARM AND LOSES EVERYTHING Sorry for yelling, I just cannot believe this is reality.

THOU SHALT NOT PROTECT PEDOS!!! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SENDER’S NAME REDACTED?!?

...tf he talking about?

a ship finally sails past the desert island I’ve been stranded on for five years me: hey umm do you guys have room for one more? no worries if not haha