I managed to capture the Moon and nearby Mercury this evening with my cell phone.

Only a few months til I’m sitting on the beach with friends, laughing my ass off, and getting higher than a pair of giraffe tits.

cats are allowed to be evil, they earned it

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If I ask nicely and give a good tip, will the chiropractor snap my neck all the way?

I did a lot of the parenting when I was a kid so pardon me if I’m a little fucked.

It’s probably not the 5 shots of espresso making my heart race. It’s something else.

When will the city learn that fencing off a known shortcut will manifest a man with bolt cutters and some free time?

i don’t want impeachment, i want (redacted)

Somewhere there’s a universe where I’m still 7 year old me, curled up cozy and warm in my bed watching cartoons on a rainy spring day. I hope she’s doing okay all the way over there.

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heliotrope ✨ www.mybirthdayflower.com

reminiscing back to simpler times, when ghosts never wore clothes

Expect to see many videos of my snotty, crying face between August 21-22.

My nephew’s newest fixation is watching videos about exploring abandoned buildings and auntie totally gets it.

I love you, Wendy’s chilli ♥️

Pass it along! Let’s see your pfp in its full sized glory!

Spending some time in the pits of hell (a children’s trampoline park)

sometimes you just gotta say “well that was weird” and move on

sometimes i want to comment on all your posts but i’m afraid of being annoying so instead i comment on one post then just sadly heart the others and keep on scrolling

if overthinking was an olympic sport i would be the most decorated olympian of all time

kiddo’s gone to grandma’s for the weekend so Brandon and I are gonna float around for Valentine’s Day

Good morning, bsky! Don’t forget to change your bong water 💖

I hope he got me the Swarovski crystal Shrek for Valentine’s Day this year.

My life path number is 33 and it’s gonna my 33rd birthday in May. I am determined to make the most of this year 🤞

feeling very 👹 today idk

if you love me you’ll pretend you didn’t see my post with a typo

They say only the good die young (but not you, Charlie Kirk)

I guess letlive heard me say I wanna hit Montreal this year 😌

Next time I see a grown ass, delicate conservative man crying over Charlie Kirk on social media, I’m posting the fucking bang bang 💥 video in his comments lol

i think we should start telling people that they are annoying more often

I hear a lot of conservatives talking shit about Canada while praising the US, but I never see anyone packing a fucking bag.

Sorry for bitching, mes amis 🥲 I’m tired and cranky.

sometimes i need to learn how to keep my mouth shut

Just a gal and her an emotional support 1960s playlist

Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain. La da da de de. La de da de da.

Friday the 13th 😱

sometimes i forget that i exist

POV: you see me on March 20th

obviously i was stoked when I saw this subject line in a work related email 😗

An edit button would’ve been nice too.

When I was younger, I thought that a vasectomy meant having your balls chopped off because people in person, on tv, etc. called it shit like “the snip” 💀

My uncle never announces travel plans. He just wakes up one morning and posts from some random country. Like, I had no idea he was in Indonesia until this morning. I want that travel life 😩

Good morning, BlueSky! #Sunrise #RidgefieldWA #WhippleCreek #Photography