My theory is that they're doing their strategic planning on a Risk board.

A coworker showed me the puzzle book she bought today and I said holy shit I know the guy that wrote that! @ghostwoods.bsky.social you're blowing up out here my friend!

Not a 1 star, but my favorite review was from my cousin: "My cousin wrote this book. I have never read it, but he's pretty cool , so I bet its good."

You have to wonder if turning the states against the federal government is a great strategy. If only there were some historical examples to guide us.

Cowlitz River, may she run for a thousand years

If Snoop Dogg ever tells you he changed his name, Snoop Lion

100% We took care of each other at the beginning and we can do it now. We need to do it now more than ever.

Resisting tyranny is the most patriotic anyone can ever be.

Sometimes all you can do is make the world 0.0000000000001% less awful by being a good person and it feels very meaningless but it’s also the only thing that really matters

trying to eat soup in the shower would be a nightmare, you'd be in there forever. you'd get so full.

repost to give those 2 or 3 followers who always like your weird posts a little forehead kiss & a grilled cheese cut diagonally

Just making sure that 2025 is definitely over

Sincerely, everyone: I hope 2026 brings you much love and hope and joy. As stupid and difficult as this world can be, I believe in you. Hold close to people you love and create good things in the face of ignorance and hate. Fight on. Stand up. Lean on one another. Peace to you, friends. Peace.

MOM: wanna see me do a handstand ME: no WOW: too late

My new years resolution is, VGA, heh little new years humour for ya.... The time square ball is an egg and every year we live in fear it will hatch

Fuck this result. I'd rather get 10th

So its 530 in the morning and I'm getting ready for work when I sneeze and a gutteral voice from the basement says Bless you, which is a weird way to find out you've got Basement Goblins because they're usually not so polite.

ALL vacant property should be used to house people. Have an unused building? Great! we have a bunch of unhoused people ready to move in

Pissin on the Drawstring: An Oral History of My Life in Sweatpants

Family can be a complicated thing for some people, I know, but if you were lucky enough to get or find or create a good one, count yourself among the blessed. Merry Christmas

Christmas is hard for many. The years roll, the ghosts at the table increase. We’re haunted by the absence of voices, of laughter engines who drank and ate with us. This can be day of remembrance rituals. For what it’s worth, Hooklanders near and far are in my candles today. Be gentle on yourselves.

The only Christmas album anyone will ever need

I got orange juice in a small cut on my hand and briefly spoke the Language of Angels offering me a brief glimpse into the Room of Doors that allow access to all realms of eternity.

It’s a great time to be dumb and mean-spirited

witch changing everything in Beast's castle: "okay, Lumiere, you'll be a candle.. Mrs Potts, teapot, obviously.. you there. what's your name?" Kevin Catheter: "i'm.. uh. John Nice Vase Of Flowers"

Sometimes I won't even bother looking into a particular issue to form an informed opinion about it, opting instead to see who is supporting it and basing my opinion on that. Oh that dude is an irredeemable prick, so if he likes this idea, I'm out.

Grinch jerky is pretty tasty, once you get past the hair

That's fine, as long as I can go hang out in Waldenbooks until they kick me out

So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries. 📚 Kurt Vonnegut, (1922- 2007) 'A Man Without a Country' (2005).

I mean Hellraiser is really more of a Valentine's day movie but okay

Attn @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social

I mean this year is terrible. We welcome Lake Michigan godzilla. Why not?

While Amazon is investing billions of dollars to expand AI, independent bookstores are hosting community events, personally recommending books to readers, and providing a space that is safe and welcoming during a time when we need them most. Never underestimate the power of a local bookstore.

I saw Dust Bunny tonight and I feel it can be best described like this: Imagine Wes Andersen directed The Professional immediately after watching Little Shop of Horrors and The Twilight Zone Movie I liked it very much.

MY WIFE: this isn’t going to work ME: *trying to karate chop down a pine tree* do not disgrace our dojo on Christmas

For no reason at all I found myself thinking of my lost friend, and I realized this will be his family's first Christmas without him. I am at work and probably shouldnt have tears in my eyes, but So it goes www.ralphpullins.com/2024/02/the-...

all i'm saying is that there were better options

i can't believe coffee exists. a delicious morning beverage that gives you endorphins and makes you poop. a total reset for body and brain. it's proof that God is real.

I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises

This book kicks absolute ass. Buy it, nerds

there’s just a certain type of person who would show up to your writer’s group wanting praise for presenting work but violently rejecting any form of constructive criticism that might improve it, and that right there is the target market for AI

Any jackass who has taken a shower has had an idea for a book. Its only a sad pathetic few of us that actually went ahead and wrote one. Where do you get your ideas is the dumbest question a writer gets, followed closely by where did you find the time

Oh shit, it's Stylish But Illegal Monkey Day

Yes son, when I gave you that basket of clean towels to put in the upstairs bathroom what I wanted you to do was put it on the bench where it will flip off onto the floor and everyone can walk on them thats exactly what I wanted

Now before I make this final cut on your vasectomy, I'm legally required to tell you that 1 in 25 times the penis will pop off and fly around the room going PHBHBHBHBHTH like a deflated balloon. So. You know. Fingers crossed.

I dont have a screenshot of it, but one of my all time favorites is from @thenatewolf.bsky.social "Athletes are warming up for the Who Can Hurt My Feelings The Fastest Olympics. All eyes are on my Mom"

Nothing good can come from killing a dream wolf

Hot damn the friends are back! They watched Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, a story about which I have opinions, and actually wrote about a while back: www.ralphpullins.com/2015/04/advi...

Because we had both leftover Indian and Mexican food, I have now invented Naanchos.