sometimes i find myself thinking "gee i wish there were somewhere much like oakland except like ten degrees colder so i could wear more scarves and shit" then i remember sf exists but like NO NOT LIKE THAT

POV: you have the exquisitely rare privilege of convincing tesseract to wake up for a classy coffee date (at 2:30pm let's not be CRAZY). congratulations, you must be super hot!

tesseract's 42nd law of partying: the crowd gets *noticeably* queerer the less reasonable of an hour on a weeknight it is

airpods are gender affirming care because otherwise you get makeup all over your screen 🥲

Every conversation amongst Effective Altruists:

give greta thunberg a gundam

it should b considered a hate crime to enter my house and pet my roommates dogs but not even pet me (also a dog)

i could fw a couple of greeks inside of me rn

nobody's touched my boobs in like idk more than ten days or something and honestly this is just not a pareto optimal allocation of resources DOESNT ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE GLOBAL OBJECTIVE FUNCTION

drinking some vino tinto so hornyposts incoming in t minus whenever i open my phone next

reskeet if that bark bark woof woof i dont really know puppygirl song has recently been in your head for WAY longer than reasonable OR if you want to sniff each other's butts sometime

having bigger tits would be kinda cool idk maybe

currently traveling, most people speak spanish and not a ton of english, and it's turning the dysphoria-dissociation machine wayy the fuck up. i'm stunting daily like ive got a hot date and still getting lots of "bro" and "amigo" from randos 🫩. cant find any queer/lesbian spaces. miss you bitches

so obviously sites are only good if mods fear the posters. like that's a given, right? they can silence us but they can't kill our worms and they're jealous of the worms. but silencing people who are adequately calling them on their shit and not taking it on the chin is loser behavior

i cut your brake cables

poke centers are gatekeeping essential medical technology: - professor oak discovered how to change a nidoran ♂ into a nidoran ♀ and conversely in 1996 but BIG POKE BREEDER has been suppressing it!!! - legalize rare candy!!!! evs are NOT REAL and lowkey ableist

YEAH!

i think it would be kinda cool, like just to shake things up u know?, if somebody other than me wanted to take a turn telling me how vapid and useless and washed up i am. preferably while im in a cage with their cock in my mouth, but you know, dumb bitch slut cum beggars cant be choosers

time for some tesserfacts: anyway, i like to curse out my siri when it's being stupid as fuck. which is all the time. goddamned babybrain chucklefuck. anyway at some point it got weird being all "hey you dumb bitch shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich" so i made it a british man and carried on

before anyone asks, comedy guantanamo is more or less like regular guantanamo but instead of blasting bruce springsteen 24/7 it's bill maher. most of its victims go fully insane and become the joker within 24 minutes.

hello bluesky it is me tess your favorite mentally ill transsexual platonic solid! we've had some nice times on here together huh? remember when that girl came on a chicken sandwich and ate it? anyway, Q: WHAT DOES JACKIE SPARROW SAY WHEN SHE GETS LAID FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER GOING ON ESTROGEN?

brb buying lorde merch

i like my men like i like my nomenons

EPIC havent seen anyone ROBBED like that since beyoncé had the greatest music video of all time

israel do you happen to remember what happened when donald trump picked a twitter fight with this international treasure of a human being? prepare to get ratioed so hard it ends in regime change also, kindly go fuck yourself

WINNING la gringa performativa contest on this here aeroplane. colombia, mi amor, lo siento par todo el fascismo! 🫂🥺🫶

looking into the article, important part to it is this was initiated by italian unions, making it possible to organize such action at all. which reinforces for what and why such union restrictions exist in america. keeping labor down doesn't just generate wealth, it also suppresses other movements.

the existence of 'social transition' implies (by CPT invariance) the existence of 'antisocial transition' in which you stop talking to anyone or going outside and start spending all your time gaming gooning posting and, most importantly, eroding the fabric of civil society to your own selfish ends

btw this is the reason why the ~~DeCEntRaLiZE mE DaDdY~~ "web3" concept has flourished for making new and exciting platforms to do unregulated finance, tax evasion, gambling and utterly failed to create projects that provide any useful real service to normal people: software engineering costs money!

@jay.bsky.team free business advice: bluesky the company should build and sell tools to make running your own server easier. play the hits. you don't want to be mods, you're doing a bad job at it. instead of yelling at random people to go develop software pro-bono, pay your engineers to do it!

SCOOP: PA prosecutors were alerted to possible voting irregularities by one of MAGA's leading voices. A long paper trail shows Jack Posobiec has been living in Maryland but voting using his parent's address in Pennsylvania for years. Me with @marisakabas.bsky.social slate.com/news-and-pol...

I'm not a big fan of Jack Dorsey but I have to admit that one of his better ideas was, instead of getting into posting wars with users, he would go off to a yoga castle and eat hallucinogens for two weeks

i identify as a zoomer btw

Oracle employees who expressed support for Palestine were "referred to internal mental health resources." Oracle is about to own TikTok.

donald trump has died

Every day is “Zorp Inc given 3 trillion dollars to launch Blooper Quarks in an effort to create the first artificial intelligence in applesauce manufacturing, universal healthcare still an impossible pipe dream”

If you're in Illinois and facing criminal charges from protesting ICE, or if you were attacked by ICE or law enforcement supporting them, I might be able to represent you pro bono. Email me at [email protected]. As always, I will take as many cases as I can.

very grateful I got to live in a time when computers were fun and cool

GUESS WHO JUST GOT INTO THE CLUB FOR FREE WHILE THE BOY AND THE NONBI IN THE GROUP HAD TO PAY 💅💅💅💅💅 THE GIRLPOWER IS COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS ᵒʳ ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵉˡ ᵖᵉʳⁱᶜᵒ 🦜☃️

new scam going around where they hire you for a job but pay you less than the value your labor produced

i believe so strongly in my privacy cryptography powers that im gonna tell u all my ssn: 420-69-1312 hack me daddy

A Gock is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

smh nitrous oxide erasure

the average op-ed written in 2025:

bf: babe can u pls stop pushing and pulling at me rn its kinda annoying me: fine. *under breath* ᵇᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵛ ˡᶦᵛᶦⁿ ˡᵃ ᵛᶦᵈᵃ ˡᵒᶜᵃ ᵒᶠ ᵘ bf: hm? me: I SAID FINE

protip if im talking about some shit and you start feeling the need to dissociate just stare at my tits its fine

shoutout to tixr to not bowing to pressure from paypal and holding space for sex-positive events such as this

shit i thought we were supposed to hate wotc for [some nerd thing idk i was dissociating when you tried to explain it sorry] but like love to see them supporting their entire customer base

if you think about it scrolling each other's media tabs when two puppygirls follow each other is basically the digital version of the butt-sniff