I’ve been thinking about how hard the founding fathers cooked with the Third Amendment. Imagine being forced to house ICE. I can’t imagine they wash their hands. They’ve never done laundry in their lives. They’d break your stuff if you didn’t cut the crusts off their sandwiches.

in person: 2 online: 4

if i finish my work tickets i can use power tools

they should invent a type of plumber, electrician, and mechanic that don't try to swindle you

there ought to be a second way out. through sucks.

me at every social, work, or medical engagement:

me: I protect the family 🎶 the family:

Me in between exhales as a hot girl beats the shit out of me: this is kind of like Cait’s Cage Match

omg I forgot about piss gate I was also suspended because an image similar to the attached was my header image

we can't afford rural hospitals but we can subsidize farms that are already receiving subsidies.

I’m going to walk into the sea

Heads up San Francisco. Help your neighbors.

It’s really easy this election to pick a school board candidate. Look for the ones that start their spiel with “as a grandmother” and descend into anti-trans rhetoric, then pick the other one.

any of the special/character shaped noodles for mac and cheese. never once had them cooked all the way through. they're always still too firm in the middle. almost chewy.

Cofounder @freeblackgirl.bsky.social reviews Sinners, quite possibly the film of the year. Ryan Coogler is a maestro of creating films about intimacy between Black folks.

sir, this is a place of business.

tons of tattoo shops offer free cover up of nazi and gang tattoos. to keep it for YEARS is a choice.

they updated the dropout app on xbox so it auto plays now!!

disinfecting wipes are among our greatest inventions

at least my shoe size remains the same as my weight fluctuates

antagonistic discover feed repliers are so fascinating

did you know the White House is owned by the American people and is stewarded by the National Parks Service? just feels like he should ask before renovating my house.

I'm going to hold your bush while I say this--

men don't ask for snapchat anymore they slide in asking for the signal link talking about wanting e2e to "secure our relationship" HE'S RAN THROUGH

i wish i went down as often as us-east-1

I am truly and profoundly honored for this to be my last post from the Birds of Paradise Bluesky account. Jane and Zoe both reached out when I made my recent announcement to step down as president, and I immediately knew this was the right decision, and that things would be more than ok.

Announcement! The future of Birds of Paradise remains vibrant! 🐦✨️ Dedicated as ever to uplifting marginalized voices in Magic, BOP! will continue its mission under brand new leadership. Please join us in warmly welcoming Command Zoe and Jane Plays Magic as the new presidents of Birds of Paradise!

Jira is down and the analysts have started a game of Risk

you know how many times i showed up to a booth with fully done hair and makeup + a fucking dress on just to cast FROM MY HOUSE with pro lighting + sound only to be met by a man in the booth wearing basically a t-shirt which is being filmed on what must be an iPod touch or smth?

aside from her, there are tons of women crushing it in the space and you'll notice they are also working way harder, performing better, approaching it with more professionalism AND being scrutinized and criticized more than the men they share a booth with

"yeah dragonite there they are, the little fruit i was tellin you about"

"shoes off on this house" when there's a cat is so fucking funny

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

Hi, I'm the ProPublica reporter who's been tracking an unusual stat: U.S. citizens grabbed by immigration agents. I did it because the government isn’t. This is what I found.

i imagine there’s about to be an influx of MAGA chuds spewing their bullshit but i really can’t stress enough that if we don’t give them oxygen, they’ll get bored and leave. block early and often.

You should block the MAGA government-created Bluesky accounts. Do not engage them. Do not give them a single scrap of what they want.

To use AI is to degrade yourself, your audience, and your medium 🫰🏻

when you tie a tie, try to put in a dimple, like so

Rogue Labyrinth is an action-narrative roguelite game where you battle your way through a reality show competition. And WE'RE ON SALE! 🌟 🌴💎💫⚡️ Explore 4 diverse biomes 🎯 Turn enemies into projectiles 💕 Make friends to unlock unique abilities ➡️https://bit.ly/RogueLabyrinth_Steam

Google, I swear to fucking god...

quitting my job and becoming a full time "text me the vibes you want your wardrobe and/or room to have, send me pics of what we're starting with, and I'll send you links to purchase everything by EoD."

"You must devote a significant amount of time to learning and experimenting with AI in order to appreciate how useful it is" is fundamentally at odds with the way it is being aggressively deployed in every possible aspect of modern life right now

me after a night of ranked competitive sex

CA governor Gavin Newsom vetoed both of the major AI bills on his desk that Silicon Valley meaningfully opposed—one making it illegal for bosses to use AI to fire workers with no oversight, one requiring chatbot sellers to ensure their products do not harm children before marketing to them.

to all new bluesky members, welcome. a note about 'netiquette': here instead of saying "tweeting" we say "busting a fat nut"

the baby caught a glimpse of microsoft teams on her dad’s phone. you hope to shelter them from things like this until they’re older. naturally she’s inconsolable