Sitting on my Denver bound flight next to an 81 year old retired cop on her way to visit her friend, a retired defense attorney. Told her about #CrimeCon and she’s so bummed she didn’t know about it. Wondering if I can fit her and her friend into a garment bag when I check into the hotel. 🤔

“You cannot argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience” -Mark Twain This is why the medical experts are leaving the CDC.

BREAKING: Congresswoman Maxine Waters just called for Trump’s cabinet to invoke “Article 25” of the Constitution to remove him from office. “Something's wrong with this president!" Who agrees?

I’ve been so busy at work lately that I just now (Monday, 8:05pm) realized that my vacation is *next week*! Gonna hang with my brother, eat green chile, and go to CrimeCon. Can’t wait!!

Between Kilmar Abrego Garcia and the DOJ official who tried to extort a plea out of him with threats of trafficking him to Uganda, there is someone who committed a crime. But that someone isn't Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

@joshmankiewicz.bsky.social just gotta get these last couple bugs worked out and then he’s coming for you for real this time.

Kid Rock: I will no longer sell my music in California. Scott Baio: I will no longer act in California. Governor Newsom: My policies are working.

Ah, no wonder they never turn up in my feed. ☹️

Hahahahahahahahahaaaa

@joshmankiewicz.bsky.social Hey there. I’m watching the latest episode and this guy’s tie completely took me out of it. I’ve never seen that kind of non-knot before. Did you ask him about it?

My roommate just asked, “When are you going to Murder Con? I want to put it in my calendar.” I said, “If you mean #CrimeCon, I’m leaving on 9/2. We don’t talk about Murder Con.” 😏

I’ve got #Dateline S23:E18 on in the background while I’m working. HOW do so many women fall for it when a man tells her he works for the CIA/FBI/M16? 99% of the time it’s code for “I’m married”. I want to reach through the TV and shake her!

After the resounding success of his 1942 film, the drug-fueled orgies at Bambi’s Beverly Hills mansion became the stuff of Hollywood legend.

If he's somehow allowed to run again, there's only one suitable candidate to run against him: BARACK OBAMA. #PoeticJustice ⚖️

@datedateline.bsky.social hi ladies! 👋🏻 you’ve probably already heard this from a million people, but the way Keith pronounced Prescott in the Bridle Path episode is the correct pronunciation (meaning that’s how AZ locals pronounce it), but you do you, boo. 😘

Only an asshole would be a friend of Jeffrey Epstein and an enemy of Canada.

It’s a cover up.

🚨TRUMP COMING TO THE UK It would be such a shame for Donald if this photo of Trump with Jeffrey Epstein appeared absolutely EVERYWHERE on his tour of the UK. It would truly be such a huge shame if everyone donated to make that happen 👀 link in bio x

Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia

The vice-president experienced the magic of Disneyland over the weekend, which is to say he got booed while walking around the park.

Yep. This.👇

1. The President of the United States has raped multiple girls. 2. And multiple women. 3. We knew this before electing him over a wildly competent woman in 2016. 4. And again in 2024. 5. This is one single story about our profound hatred of girls & women. 6. It’s killing us. #EpsteinFiles

Relatable 🪴🤷🏻‍♀️

You've been conned.

Our entire office is overrun with fruit flies, so we all have little apple cider vinegar filled fruit fly traps in our offices. I just slapped at a fruit fly and smacked my trap all over myself and my desk, so now the fruit flies think I am the trap. #fml #askmeaboutmyday #onsecondthoughtdont

Something to think about during Trump's multi-million dollar military birthday parade he's throwing for himself.

Life pro tip

Dear Democratic Leadership, We don't need more rallies and we don't need more convincing about the evils of the oligarchy and the fascism that is already here. We need actual action removing Trump and his ludicrously incompetent cabinet before EVERYTHING is destroyed permanently.

Took a social media break for a bit after the inauguration. I’m back now. You’re welcome. 🤪

@eitmonline.bsky.social Jason Sudeikis also has no sense of smell.

I’m really trying to get the word out about Not Saying Things. Instead of saying things, you can just not say things and many still don’t know this

@eitmonline.bsky.social I’m getting this for Diane for Christmas. 😂

@eitmonline.bsky.social i’m picturing everyone driving to work this morning screaming “vasectomy!“ At the radio.

BREAKING: Herschel Walker remains hopeful for an ambassadorship to the state of Georgia.

This was posted on Reddit about an hour ago. 😳 Pretty much everyone is telling her to get as far away from him as possible immediately. This is terrifying, right? It looks like the precursor to a Dateline episode.

just fyi, women really aren’t that complicated. we just want to know that we matter. oh and make us laugh and help us clean up the occasional crime scene or whatever.

New record for how long adult siblings can go without arguing when staying together while one or more of them is sick: 6 days. (Could have gone longer, but sometimes people need to be called out for acting like a butthead.)