Melanie C's "Undefeated Champion," which is a bop btw, comes on and all I can think about is the toilet clogger.

Maybe we're just being trolled with all this SASE behavior 🙏

Most Streamed Artist?

“Wow, okay” is a thought that runs through my head multiple times every morning.

FUCKING BRACKETS HOW DO THEY WORK

Solicitor at 9:30!?!

Recipreciprocity?

I KNEW they were The Cockroaches!

After you buy something from At Home, how do you get it to stop smelling like At Home?

Don't bother randomly calling your dog, "Goody Four Paws," and thinking you've come up with a brilliant idea. Stupid "Trusted Dog Walker in NW London"!!

SPF 4?? That's an oil or lotion!

You know what I could do without? This recent batch of math dreams. And that was a decent subject for me, so these are nightmares!

🖐️ 🤟 HOURS!!!

Braves don't play Phillies again until September?!

🇯🇵

By the way, I lied about the blanket you wear. I actually didn't get it for my birthday. I got it for Christmas.

Sure would like to watch this series...

Club WWE?!?

So good to be back together this morning, but what’s even better? We get to do it all over again tomorrow.

🇭🇺

Horseradish soup? Horseradish soup.

Please don't read anything into Elliot not mentioning it was my birthday on Wednesday. See, mine falls exactly 315 days before his, so I get it.

Yeah, I was just talking with the president…of disc jockeys.

So my thing about “Summer House” is, well…you see, I’ve never heard of the show.

Weren't we supposed to end at 10 today?

Totally forgot about Morello…

Just high-fived so many F • 50s+ on the Celine Dion Ride!

Working (but it's spring break, so your family and friends are having lunch at a brewery) is the worst.

"It's just WE, Uce" was right there..

Happy Opening Day!

No glitches, no glitches, no glitches...

Happy Spring!

Will you wake up to me?

"... just whip their ass tonight against Italy and they'll make a big deal because Italy has the little espresso machine in their dugout ... but then we're into the quarterfinals. Like, then we start mattering." -Elliot

Warby Parker doesn't do Home Try-On anymore?

Really hope Sammy and the band keep “Humans Being” in the Vegas residency setlist. ‘Cause along with “Freebird” and “No More Tears,” it’s in my air guitar top three.

If you were getting married this weekend and you played Olivia Rodrigo's cover of "The Book Of Love," I would cry.

It IS clicking, Joe.

Ah, the time of year for college basketball updates...from the anchor desk.

Same, but make it Skeery. And Elliot calling him.

Not here to fuck spiders.

Danhausen on RAW 1000x better than the reveal.

How's it feel, now I'm the fuckboy?

SIRIUS! RAY CLAY!!

Upon bending over to clean up after Meadow, a sweatshirt drawstring glided across the top of a yet-to-be closed poop bag. So, if you're wondering, that's why I smell like dog crap.

By the way, how much did Chicago pony up?!? Cody at TILT, Punk & Lee at Skydeck, Kit & Truth at Second City!?! Best city ever, so I'm all about it, but DAMN.

That may have been the dumbest (smartest, too?) week of radio in history.

Anyone else have the crying baby from "One Big Mob" stuck in their head?

Much easier to snap when you don’t have to bend.