hey i just got an alert saying your personal info was found on the dork web

I agree that we need to apologize for the excesses of wokism. Specifically everyone in 2019 who told their friends to watch Nanette.

i'm going to be totally honest, i'm not above it and i wouldn't be mad if my friends swore oaths of vengeance on my enemies at my funeral

I’m always glad to see people who make me proud of my religious community instead of people like Kirk and Vance, who make me terribly ashamed of them

I could put duck soup, or the thing, or Carrie, or wet hot American summer, or ET, but really there’s only one answer

Charlie Brown, hoe, etc

1. Chopping Mall! Gotta start with what I remember from the VHS rental shelf. It’s fun, nothing amazing aside from one hilarious head explosion

SCARY MOVIE MONTH BEGIIIIIIIIINS

Evergreen

Jalad, remembering some guys: man, remember Darmok?

Prince of Darkness Recently rewatched this one and it's possibly one of Carpenter's finest, the apocalyptic vibes are incredible, but getting to see Victor Wong and Donald Pleasence onscreen together was a real treat, both tremendously characterful actors who can dominate any scene.

Oh man this movie gets nuuuuuuuuts

Guys I walked like ten dogs today. Life is good.

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

Earth day is so funny It’s like “hey man what are we celebrating” “All of it” “All of it?” “Everything, yeah.” “The moon?” “NO.”

Max Rebo sues to stop the Emperor from playing his jizz music during rallies

Happy Friday! As a treat here is Columbo nailing Dick Van Dykes ass to the wall youtu.be/gnQIOm2KimA?...

Conan O'Brien to his fellow late-night hosts who are being obnoxiously persecuted by cowardly network executives.

"Just like in DC Home Rule was won out of Black freedom struggle and the fight for civil rights, we can't be passive right now." @reprashida.govpeeps.us #FreeDC

Things are very very dark but after 8 months of struggling to find work I've got a bunch of paying gigs lined up including walking three fabulous dogs so there's that

New SNL lineup: Roseanne Rob Schneider Joe Piscopo Greg Gutfeld Jim Breuer Victoria Jackson Chris D’Elia And featuring: Assorted CHUDs found in Joe Rogan’s studio

good jumping-in point to this live coverage from Martin, whose distaste for Congressional oversight hearings of DC is matched only by, well, my distaste for Congressional oversight hearings of DC

An even bigger cheers to the guy looking up from his phone while driving to yell at me that I shouldn’t be looking at my phone on the sidewalk (I was upset that he had just run a stop sign)

You all laughed at me in 2010 when I said PEDATORS was actually a documentary, but who’s laughing now?

@caseyexplosion.bsky.social I immediately thought of you.

A note, with October coming up you can have a pretty righteous scary movie marathon just with AMC plus and kanopy

Cheers to the biker arguing with me that he has the right to bike the wrong way in the middle of the lane on a one way street

A lot of libraries also have physical media you can check out. Our local system has movies, audiobooks TV etc. I do realize it’s not practical to always do that, but it’s a good option! Also getting involved in your local library & its board can help!

The loser energy that radiates off "it's illegal not to like me" shit like this is palpable bsky.app/profile/zack...

I once read one of Dennis Millers stupid books and there is a brief part where he makes a joke about his mailman and I remember loving it only because it was maybe the first joke he made a midst a sea of topical crap. When content preempts jokes you officially become a hack

Christ the last sentence of this post is one of the bleakest things I’ve ever read

One thing this really shows is that for all the bitching about safe spaces blah blah blah there’s never been a time when comedy has been so anodyne and cowardly and had less to say, it’s not just that there’s no George Carlin, there’s not even a prime David Letterman

I don’t see live music anymore and live through all of you, so thanks for taking me to TV on the Radio and Portal last night, that was rad

(Typing without anyone looking) mom it’s cool they just said they’re having a party on the other side of the room for someone I don’t know

Jeff Dunham your and your puppets' silence is deafening

Love that one half of the man show is at the vanguard of the resistance. Do we know how the Ziggy Zocky guy is aligned?

Aw crap it’s me isn’t it

Meanwhile, the meanest and most accurate thing you can say about Jimmy Fallon is that the Trump administration isn’t worried about him in the slightest.

Another horror movie everyone should see

Post a horror movie everyone should see

Post a horror movie everyone should see

Post a horror movie everyone should see

Age verification: I bought these six CDs for a penny each. Then things took a turn.

When the great wedgie-ing comes these dorkwads will not be spared

I think one of the better, more subtle tributes to Robert Redford's life is the string of utterly iconic female co-stars who've come forward to eulogize him; each of them take-no-shit types like Fonda and Streisand, and every one of them without a single bad thing to say. A model for male behavior

A friend of mine co-owns this bookstore. This is not great. www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/d...

decisions, decisions

To the 31 House Democrats who voted with Trump: I would never vote to disenfranchise your constituents, undermine their democratic rights, or impose harsher penalties on them against their will. Regrettably, you have done exactly that to my constituents and legislative body. Shame 😪