Trump’s Board of Peace branding looks like it was done on Canva

In that sweet spot between a presidential humiliation and his push back (Tearing down WH, starting a war), we have some time to breathe. And laugh. Please read and enjoy these 5 pp from The American Bystander. online.americanbystander.org/five-pages-o...

Everything is terrible. But not this. Five Pages of Fun. Every Friday. Free. Designed to share. Pass it on.

It's Presidents' Day, so may I humbly suggest using this as the official presidential portrait? (Via @americanbystander.bsky.social) #terfs

Who says you can’t go places with a PhD? (For all 7 of our Poems of the Week, click link in thread) #braindrain #highereducation #universities @paullander.bsky.social @americanbystander.bsky.social @aestallings.bsky.social @juliekanepoet.bsky.social @allisonpoet.bsky.social

Issue 31 of The American Bystander (The Comedy Magazine) knocks it out of the park. Outstanding work @michaelgerber.bsky.social & kudos to all the contributors, both living and living in heaven. @americanbystander.bsky.social 31-thumb salute: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Me: Please stop stabbing me. The Latest Incredible AI Model: Here is a serrated blade, plunged deep into your torso, puncturing three vital organs. Would you like me to make a checklist to keep track of all the ways you love having me stab you?

people born in america probably don’t realize how cool america used to be. the death of US soft power is going to have long term consequences we are only beginning to see

Publishing a book really is not for the faint of heart. Luckily for me, neither was growing up with my mother.

Whether it's Bad Bunny giving his Grammy to a child or Kid Rock singing "I like ’em underage, see, some say that’s statutory but I say it’s mandatory," both artists have reached out to your nation's young people.

The new @americanbystander.bsky.social is out!

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

Welcome to the club! Be sure to tip Marco in the locker room, even if you don't take cologne from him.

Welcome to the tribe, @jasonklamm.com! Loved your comedy scholarship for YEARS!

It's the first time I've been published in a comedy magazine! It's about #DickDavy, #comedyonvinyl, and the album I produced for @standuprecords.bsky.social last September. Thanks so much to @americanbystander.bsky.social & Michael Gerber for putting me in such good company. @alanzweibel.bsky.social

I read the new @americanbystander.bsky.social today—especially great illustrations and essays in this one! Includes my little monologue about the guy who had to disinter the previous pope for the "cadaver synod" in 897. Grateful as ever for bystander boss @michaelgerber.bsky.social.

Driverless cars are out here pulling U-turns, cops don’t know who to ticket, and @michaelgerber.bsky.social is hiding behind a hedge in Santa Monica. Read his new piece, Waymo Scared: online.americanbystander.org/waymo-scared/

TERFs are obsessed with where *everyone else* is going to the bathroom, so we wrote them a potty training book to teach them how to mind their own damn business. It's called "Nobody Poops." Read it here... and see it in print in the next issue of @americanbystander.bsky.social. #transrights

And if you like my writing, none of my graphic novels have been published yet... but consider checking out some of my work for MAD Magazine or this new piece in the @americanbystander.bsky.social. (12/X) bsky.app/profile/matt...

ATTN @americanbystander.bsky.social and Dutchie

. @michaelgerber.bsky.social ‘s new essay in the wake of Jimmy Kimmel’s cancellation lays it out plainly: the U.S. government is now hostile to comedy. Artists need to protect their lists, mirror their work, and prepare for independence. Read and repost.

Support independent media

ooooh ok so no more comedy allowed, cool cool cool

Good time to repost this

Well, its what Charlie Kirk would’ve wanted, at least

Corporations should not own comedy. #jimmykimmel

We stand with Jimmy Kimmel.

The Roman Empire never really fell it just pivoted to content

Remember when you were in the Gifted Program? Now you’re just in debt. The American Bystander: The Official Magazine for Former Gifted Kids Preorder Issue 31: theamericanbystanderstore.com/products/iss...

Done and done, who’s next

Now that we’re online again, who should we be following? (No losers, only cool people)

[opens trench coat] “Psst. Hey you. Hey buddy. C’mere. Wanna buy some print media?”

[Throws up another skull.]

I'm funny how, like a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? Is that last thing I said funny? No? How about this one? Please laugh.

It’s actually not that hard to be successful online. You just have to be obsessive, unbalanced or stupid hot. Thankfully we’re all three

Everyone’s so happy we’re back on social media. It feels like walking into the old bar and all your alkie friends cheering, “YOU’RE BACK!!!” Anyway, pre-order Issue #31. Cover by @tbtoro.bsky.social Ships October 2025 Link——> theamericanbystanderstore.com/products/iss...

Christ, this is terrible how have you guys been doing this

We tried to claw our way out because social media is hell. But, like all the damned, we were dragged back—this time to hawk a print mag. The American Bystander #31 Cover by @tbtoro.bsky.social. Ships October 2025. Preorder here: theamericanbystanderstore.com/products/iss...

Ross MacDonald for @americanbystander.bsky.social -- online.americanbystander.org/this-is-fine/

We almost escaped, alas...

Hooooorah, 'The American Bystander' makes a timely return...at times like this we need more humour...or even humor.🎉🍾🥳

From the files @americanbystander.bsky.social: The Pope’s Greatest Open Mic one liners by me online.americanbystander.org/the-popes-gr...

After months of being chained to my desk, deadlines, illness, bereavement, lawyers, guns, and money, I’m finally able to dig in to the latest issue of @americanbystander.bsky.social. A clever line from @jamesfinngarner.bsky.social made me do a spit take into the pool. THX @michaelgerber.bsky.social

My drawing in the latest issue of the American Bystander. Thanks to @michaelgerber.bsky.social @americanbystander.bsky.social #art #drawing

“Half-Staff” 🇺🇸🌗 My cover for the new issue of @americanbystander.bsky.social !

We regret to inform you we have returned to social media. Sorry.

I am very excited for people to read my story "Yoinlax the Zewd," along with the latest batch of unsettling photo captions.

@americanbystander.bsky.social’s Barry Blitt sums it up perfectly.