New Overwatch season and I’m streaming the game for the first time since… 2019?! twitch.tv/TelferDan

Ah yes, that classic conservative talking point: let’s obsess over declining population growth while everyone is starving and can’t afford the doctor

Time for a Spectrum internet outage, or as I like to call it: Spectrum internet

Not to brag, but I am easily the strongest member of my Dungeons & Dragons podcast

So let’s see, the ceasefire keeping failing because… *checks notes* … Trump wants to cuck for another world leader, just like he did in the Epstein Files. Got it.

All those “it’s about ethics in video game journalism” people seem pretty unconcerned that almost all video game journalists have been replaced with AI. Seems like they kinda just wanted to ruin women’s lives?

I miss the idea of doing more straightforward lefty-alt-comedy-world work, but my last 10-12 experiences in that world were deeply and utterly miserable. More than miss it, I grieve how sincere and kind that world used to seem. Lots of people are being spiteful as they struggle. So disappointing.

A 2026 dating app called LAST CALL

Sometimes, when I need to microwave for a minute and a half, I like to set it to 90 seconds. Just to see if it’s paying attention.

Not to kink shame, but Trump and Bibi sure have sloppy cuckolding boundaries

One fun thing about LA is that if a stranger over the age of 60 treats you like shit for no discernible reason, it’s because they were once an incredibly powerful producer and now nobody gives a shit

STOP POSTING ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE CHILL TO REMOVE HIM AND REMOVE HIM

Thank you everyone for supporting the launch of @darkestwhimsy.com ! If you’d like to support the show, we now have a Patreon and plan to release our first episode at the end of April. We hope you’ll join us, the Patreon even has a free optionn! www.patreon.com/c/darkestwhi...

They still haven’t cast Waluigi in these Mario movies, there is hope for me yet

The party that wants you dead for being naughty is the party that uses the F word on national television while threatening mass murder

Thank you for logging me out of your website after only a few moments of inactivity, literally everyone with a website! It’s a consistent reminder that the internet is destroying our lives, and that I SHOULD hate being on my phone! Bye!

Everyone who blasts videos on their phone speaker in public is MAGA, no exceptions

John Lithgow seems like a smart dude. You know, history and literature degree at Harvard and all that. Someone should tell him that when he tries to discuss trans rights he sounds deeply uneducated. Like he got his degree at Truck Stop Bathroom University. He’s not doing Harvard any favors.

Playing Dragon’s Dogma 2 on Twitch tonight, and holy shit! Why did I sleep on this game? Why did nobody tell me about this game? I don’t need another Elder Scrolls, I’ll show you soon!

Bailing on my nearly 500 day Duolingo streak This new update is asking me to translate Japanese words I’ve never heard before, then say my made up words out loud… what Um is the owl just racist now

With continued massive layoffs, it’s dark times for gaming careers. Meanwhile, game sales are STILL increasing, and PS5 prices went up AGAIN. We need indie. If you can support the launch of @darkestwhimsy.com you’ll get my new indie project off the ground! Please check it out: darkestwhimsy.com

It’s almost as if this dude is obsessed with his legacy because he could not be more unbearably miserable in the present moment. But what do I know? I’m just some poor person who loves themselves and doesn’t look like their own Dorian Grey painting!

Sometimes I get the impulse to rejoin Twitter or Threads, or to turn my replies back on. Then the anti-depressants kick in and I have a good day instead.

You’re seriously trying to cancel Chappell Roan because a confused angry man posted a deceptive and dubious all caps rant on social media? And this dude is trying to turn it into an anti-boundaries campaign? You guys know you COULD have nice things, right?

all I can think about is how civilization is destroying itself and also how Craig Mazin wrote The Sheep Detectives

just here to have a new place to block my enemies

I’d do more stand-up, but I didn’t become famous before I turned 40 aka “showbiz elderly”, so you’ll have to wait for when society collapses and there’s a market for Old Crone Wandering The Wasteland Comedy

Looking forward to Euphoria Season 3, by which I mean I look forward to reading recaps and then watching small portions over the next three years when I can tolerate the elective trauma

Current dating bio: Looking for the wet washcloth to my melted Cadbury Creme Egg. Not a metaphor. I forgot I had like 10 Cadbury Creme Eggs in my purse and took them outside in the heat. NO DUDE WIPES, moistened fabric cloth ONLY

I miss overhearing strangers talk about a “dumb asshole” and not immediately knowing who they were talking about

Apple Maps just asked if I wanted to take a shortcut, then sent me an hour in the wrong direction, to a random place I have never visited. AI, folks!

Today we recorded Episode 6 of @darkestwhimsy.com , with our first SPECIAL GUEST! We’re keeping it a surprise for a bit, but they were the perfect person to have as our first guest and I can’t wait to share who it is! Heard of us yet? Check us out! darkestwhimsy.com

I legit keep forgetting the Oscars are on, which is delightful to me

People will be all “learn to use AI or fall behind”, and then you ask AI to draw a rubber duck and it draws a melting human face, and people will be like “it’s not the AI’s fault”

it’s hard to be mad at Timothée Chalamet for being a condescending millionaire when he was already the most dull human alive

Yes, I noticed my favorite basketball player has launched an AI product and is lecturing people on how people need to “get with AI or get lost.” Skip messaging me. No I’m not feeling good about it. No I’m not shocked. This is why I don’t worship celebrities. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal, folks!

I miss karaoke outside of Los Angeles. You could sing like a dork without 3-5 cults of ego goblins sizing you up. No, I do not want unsolicited feedback on my rendition of A Thousand Years from Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part One. I am a dhampir and I sing for the love of the game.

I think the internet has finally figured out I’m non-binary, because all the ads targeted at me have shifted from “tired king is being attacked by sandwiches” game apps to “untangle this infinite yarn” game apps

Support everyone, including Mimimimimimimi, over at darkestwhimsy.com!

Dating apps! Last refuge of anarchists who only want millionaires

Looking for generous vampires and/or Magic Ice Crowns for surviving the coming Mushroom War, thx

“I haven’t played Arc Raiders in a few days!” *loads game* *sits in queue for five minutes* *instantly swarmed by 3 fireballs* *closes game* *opens Infinity Nikki*

If we could just put off armageddon a little bit longer, I have some severe personal trauma I’ve been working on and I’d really like time to feel like a special little victim before reality ends

Trying a survivalist technique where I process unsolicited advice into protein

In war everyone loses, and when you start a war that means you were already a loser

I’ll finally take my Christmas lights down when this country finally takes its billionaire pedophiles down

Follow my awesome new D&D show @darkestwhimsy.com on @backerkit.com! Every follower gets us placed better in their algorithm! darkestwhimsy.com

Groucho voice: How the manatee got in the bikini, we’ll never know.

Follow my awesome new D&D show @darkestwhimsy.com on @backerkit.com! Every follower gets us placed better in their algorithm! darkestwhimsy.com