Then they came for modernist composer Phillip Glass, and I did not speak out

🎵 We are Jerome Powell, we carry the flame 🎵

A friend asked if I was in Florida for the holiday and I just texted them this

The gaul to darken a strangers doorway, with carols they did not opt into, then demand figgy pudding.

oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends

"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—" You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.

Lots of businesses claim to 'proudly serve' their market or community, but does anyone embarrassingly serve? Like, "My dad loves the bratwurst cart, doesn't love it's in greater Davenport, Iowa."

i know the cost of food is high but we gotta go back to throwing tomatoes at people

George S’morey Madman Markhamentaschen Linda Molten Lava Cake Hmmm

A spooky paranormal-themed bakery called Tart Bell. No, this is a good idea. I stand behind it.

Happy 12th birthday to the grumpiest bitch in the land, who loves only me and @kennybloggins.bsky.social I love her so and she’s seen me through everything ❤️😭

Conner O’Malley ass quote

I’ve got a p good MJ Lenderman impression, check it out. OK *clears throat* here we go…. “and a wristwaaaaastch”

lol

Very few things I feel as passionate about as I do ALDI. One of the last pure things in this world.

Next season of White Lotus should take place at the Wigwam Village

I think this rocks. If the USA is #1, and we wish to be a dumb country, then we should be as dumb as we possibly can. Second place is first loser.

From Gaza to Greenland, freedom is on the march.

you all hear about this Zero Gap Promise?

Strava is the only good social network. They can have all of my data.

Absolutely thrilled I woke up in the middle of the night in November and jotted this down half asleep

If you’re not circling back with me about beans, wyd

Felt smart, might delete later kennybloggins.substack.com

What men think women want vs what women actually want

If you truly don’t believe Elon was doing the gesture, why don’t you test that theory. Greet your friends and family with it. Say ‘good morning’ to your boss with it. Do it in public! And then, report back on your findings.

Made this dumb thing 8 years ago. Love too see history repeating.

DO IT vote.leoweekly.com

Driving in Boston is a blood sport

Lord, bless me with the confidence of a bad artist

Festival MC: “When I say BIG, you say THIEF! BIG!” Crowd: “THIEF!”

baby SHOES doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo baby SHOES doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo Baby SHOES, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo they're for SALE Never WORN doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo Never WORN doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo Never WORN doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo Never WORN

Dudes rock

I’m not online enough to understand the Discourse so I’m just gonna post shit that’s on my phone for whatever reason

I’m not cancelling Guy Fieri. I don’t care what he did.

Today is his day, first and foremost

Using a mutual’s following list to find my other friends

If you’re waiting for the hot dog eating contest STAY IN LINE

Everyone thinks Twitter is down for a myriad of reasons yet NONE of you has yet suggested "Orcas"

Anyone got a MILF Messenger invite for ya boy

Gotta be hard to somehow be the most doofus billionaire this month even when one of them imploded himself

Getting ready for the club listening to Julia Holter

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .