10% of all murders in the US are now committed by cops.

I am so cooked if my psychiatrist ever finds my bluesky account lol

At this point quite seriously just grab a used gaming rig off FB marketplace. This is DOA for "like a console" pricing.

Well I guess murdering the negotiation team is cool now?

BREAKING NEWS: In a Pride Month twist, IKEA announces its bookcases are male to male transsexuals 🏳️‍🌈

My biomom has come to rapid terms with me getting ffs once it inexplicably left me somehow looking *even more* like her.

until the show comes back someday with an actual casting, the role of doctor who has been assigned to philomena cunk the regeneration amnesia has her a little bit confused, but she's gonna travel time and space asking the important questions

It Me.

I seem to have gone down *yet another* waist size. I wasn't intending to do this but uh... not gonna say no?

Rewild the reflecting pool. Make it a wetland bird sanctuary. Fill it with endangered salamanders. Foster the fermentation of whatever it is that makes swamp gas. Put up little signs welcoming fairies. Let stray senators wander in never to be seen again. Elect a bog witch. Make America Moss Again

My body is a machine that transforms potential into nothing.

Jesus Christ.

I maintain Tomino would have appreciated it

The remake of just one of the movies she starred in made over a billion dollars last year alone, and she still died in poverty from an extremely preventable infection. We need universal healthcare or we don’t have basic human rights.

The biggest advantage of T4T is that me and my girlfriend share a shoe size.

The trans experience is shopping around for a surgeon and not being sure about one so your friend offers to platonically show you her pussy.

I will never experience this exact sensation and that’s a little sad (but I’m happy for snakes)

I would rather have an inefficient space program than a trillonaire nazi

a pickup truck rolls to a stop in front of where you're sitting. everyone in the cab & bed armored & headcovered. tightly gripping rifles & looking at you. guy standing closest leans over, "Are you human?" " ... I don't even know anymore." he smacks the roof of the cab. they drive off

The GPU is not your enemy. The GPU was intended to channel magic smoke into the drawing of triangles, the virtuous shape. Evil men devised wicked shapes that should never have been drawn, and have used their influence to hoard the GPUs and twist the magic smoke toward the shape of their perversions.

it must be so cool to be insane in the hot and alluring mysterious way and not whatever i’ve got going on

I feel like I might have committed a hate crime by thoughtlessly de-jewing my shnozz

AUSTIN POWERS (de-aged): baby I was practicing free love back when your granny was knocking boots, I don’t see the issue! VIVICA GOODBOOBS (Sydney Sweeny): Austin you can’t just shag anyone without telling me, being Poly is about communication! AUSTIN: (looks Wistful, sad song by The Weeknd plays).

Had to make some queer versions for pride

Prolonged sigh.

I'm tired and in pain but most of i think I'm just tired of being in pain. It wears on you. It builds up and eats your energy until you just want to crawl into bed and stay there

I put kimchi in an immersion blender because you go insane after 7 days without solid food

drinking monster with stitches in your mouth is an interesting experience

Guy at the pyramids called after me “sir!” No response “maam!” No response, after a few seconds he tries again “cousin!” I think we’ve cracked it. There is a gender neutral honorific.

It's official. My leg is acting up and it is substantially worse than the pain in my head, so I may have to upgrade how much I need help and downgrade my guilt about "just shirking".

If nothing else I can get free drinks for life by showing my scar and telling the tale of how I fought a mountain lion

Deer girl GF keeps talking about "no thoughts, head empty" so you give her Chronic Wasting Disease.

Monster Energy Drink sponsoring the official 250th anniversary front lawn redneck fist fight at the white house has soooo much Brawndo! energy. Like we are maybe 3 steps away from the USDA officially recommending switching from water to some kind of nitrate based energy drink.

I'm like.... upset about this to an unreasonable degree. It is not rational. Also yes I'm going to keep chugging the stupid chud energy slop.

I’m surprised more conservatives aren’t mad about this short-form hypno-bimbo feminisation stuff, given how they feel about fifteen-minute sissies

I am *this close* to just putting an entire hamburger and fries in my immersion blender.

I never knew it was possible to want to be allowed to chew things this much. I didn't know it was possible to care this much about chewing period.

you need to be maxxmaxxing. you need to pursue everything to its highest possible extent. you need to see how far it can go before it breaks. you need to find the purest expression of the thing in its overdoing. you need to drink 9 espresso shots and not sleep for a week. you need to be maxxmaxxing

I think I can feel more of my scalp today. Lordy help me when the nerves make it to the 5 inch long incision.

"FILL ME WITH ESTROGEN AND THROW ME TO THE ELEMENTALS, QUIAFF?"

Cognitive Doll Torture - Switching the headphones from doll mantras to Joe Rogans Podcast whenever the doll disobeys.

had a dream that the nyt named a "transwoman of the year" and it was just some man no one heard of and he was neither medically nor socially transitioning he just identified as trans but otherwise wasn't doing anything

My nose hurts

Everyone keeps telling me what incredible, horrifying pain right now and I think may have been underestimating how bad my chronic pain actually is because I have been ok on ibuprofen since the day after surgery.

Wierd thing they don't tell you about FFS. Air escaping from your sinuses may cause your forehead to go in and out like a bellows.