Cutwater and country music kinda night 🤠

Wait couscous is really good. Why doesn't this little grain trend more often? Love this stuff

It's too bad that when Pride Month ends we'll have to take Funky Kong out back and give him mercury poisoning.

Oh okay so Year of the Horse by Aly & Aj was written with me in mind? Love my sisters 🐴❤️

just total dystopian nightmare shit lmao bsky.app/profile/sche...

This might be one of the most insane scandals in game history When Pokemon Go players scan PokeStops, theyve been unknowingly building a detailed visual model of the world which is being sold to a military contractor to build a no-GPS positioning for the new generation of unmanned killing machines

It would actually be homophobic to wish me a happy Pride this year. To quote my favorite lesbian: "I don't need to know about that, keep that to yourself." -Sarah Paulson

the only GROUP many of you should be CHATTING with is a team of mental health professionals

Bad day for Zack. Wish I'd been forced to listen to old, religious, conspiracy theorists.

Never sharing a damn thing with anyone again. I'm so sick of my plans getting ruined. I'm genuinely so pissed off.

Honestly, getting infected with strep sounds better than being forced to spend 6 hours listening to old, religious, conspiracy theorists. Could still be a good day for Zack 🤷🏻‍♂️

Male doordash drivers need to be stopped

5 pots of coffee within an hour of opening, I'm about to be so busy

I’ll make a ham out of you

dunking a xanax in my coffee like it’s a teeny tiny donut

I really shouldn't have set up the computer yet, I have so much furniture to move around but all I can think of is my games!

so are we just going through every year of the last decade for these qt prompts

Reaaaally wishing I could game while it rains. With my luck the sun's gonna come out when I get off work 😭

I have no one to send this to 😭

Absolutely terrified to get into my old steam account. So many games, so many passwords changed over the years 😭

Chickpea?

applying for the job i quit yesterday cause i forgot 1/2 a burrito in their fridge

Dog stuff at the bar

this would work on me

The tobacco industry was really cooking with cigarettes huh

$20 tip!

Them: "hi do I need a key/code for the bathroom?" Me: "nope! Its free to use f9r anyone! Enjoy!" Why did I say "Enjoy"? Am I sick or something

Days like these make it so easy to justify throwing my phone in a river and walking into the mountains forever. I need a cold shower and a dark room, yesterday.

Reeeaaally craving FFVI rn

Gonna take La Croix off the list if these grown adults can't pronounce the name right anymore.

"Instagram saw it first" I'll be happy to never see it again. *block*

What made you gay?

Didn't fix my face, my glasses just make me sick now. At least they look good 😭

Had a dream I woke up, smoked a whole cart, and went straight to work. Is this prophecy?

I actually work at the sausage factory and they don’t even let me look

A frosty beer on a hot day

Keep your Italian Reiki shaman out of my shop or we're gonna have problems

‘taylor swift plans to release three variants for toy sto-‘

What do you mean 12oz of half and half and 4oz of espresso arent enough to get me through my day?

BARISTAS ARE NOT DOCTORS DO NOT COME IN ASKING FOR MEDICAL HELP WE DONT LIKE YOU ENOUGH TO OFFER IT ANYWAY

My boss trying to come up with any reason to not come in to help me

Social media's gonna be so annoying for the next month

all the pride jokes have been made. I think we can take a break this year

Let's get emotional!

🐷🙅‍♀️🤝🫂

walked to brunch with the kids and let them taste my Bloody Mary and they said it tastes like “rotten dolphins”

"Can I get a 16oz flat white?" Girl are you fucking stupid?

Bf went home now wtf am I supposed to do