I learned all my sex moves from watching John Holmes, Ron Jeremy, Harry Reems, etc. I am a classically trained penist.

@sabs.bsky.social you buried the lede! jensen and Jared lugefic?!!! HAVE YOU BEEN READING MY DIARY

@ihavethatonvinyl.com one of my favorite song structures is where they do a normal chorus a few times, and then same chorus but they yell it. youtu.be/3EeHyqMvjuc?...

at what point in a developing nation's timeline does the governing body say "ok, we're gonna need to start getting people good at weird shit so we can field an Olympic team"?

the whole swap meet went crazy, I'm sockin' more fools than Patrick Swayze

@edsbs.bsky.social it doesn't feel like the Olympics without Norm around. youtu.be/xrlhFXmJmns?...

It does not matter who the Super Bowl act turned out to be they were always going to have to make it a whole thing because these people cannot take one single pitch. Hacking at one hop garbage in the dirt every day of their lives.

@georgialux.bsky.social furiously fluffin' my hawg with gold medal vigor to rig the Olympics. heart of a champion.

I think this all could have been avoided if we stood strong when they took the headphone jacks out of phones. We took that like little bitches, and they smelled blood in the water, and knew we'd offer no resistance until it was too late.

so if the Dems do-nothinged into getting dhs defunded, do we under circumstances, Have to Hand It To Them?

BURGIN - dashare.zone ADMIN

mulaney's bit about the horse in a hospital ended up being way more prescient than I thought at the time.

check yourself, respect yourself and wash your mothafuckin body 'fore your sweatshirt melt

cold war themed gay film "mutually assured dick suction" finally getting a screening at rotten apple theater this friday

I know you're trying to be helpful, Firefox, but it feels a little pointed when you give me a tooltip like, 'hey, we see your tabs are a mess, clean it up ya fuckin' reprobate'

I, for one, am stunned by the depth of the roster of people that came out for e-40. youtu.be/bRChz-OYi9o?...

my new idea is once you get to a billionaire, you surrender all your money for the public good, and in return, you get a card which will let you get whatever you want, no matter the price. you never have to want for anything ever again, and you can just fuck off forever. still can't fuck kids though

@kleinman.bsky.social since you know way more ball then me, i defer to you, but is this a R demonstrating principle and a backbone? It appears that way to me, but i didn't think they did such things, so i'm worried that i'm missing something here. www.politico.com/live-updates...

@edsbs.bsky.social I know you're more into rally cars, but this is an online sale that might be just as tempting.

curious layout choice by CNN to use the EXTREME CLOSEUP of jill biden's ex-husband in listicle of today's top stories.

@plumberduck.bsky.social I greatly enjoyed your Fallout finale recap. My non-critic brain was struggling to articulate the feelings i was having, like, my face was smiling, but it just felt frenetic in a bad way. You really distilled it down nicely, that was very helpful. See you for S3?

live from Farttown it's Steve Dave

two consecutive friends who i know i've shown this to claimed they didn't know it, and i'm a little concerned there was an event that erased it from the public consciousness or something, so in case there's anyone else out there youtu.be/5OxxjsZ-TCs?...

@edsbs.bsky.social one of the rare occasions where all that "on this day" shite actually surfaces a winner: i have bursitis youtu.be/7C1Pr4AU2wc?...

@robdelaney.bsky.social this was in one of my "on this day" things. it still makes me laugh at loud. never change too much.

2020: mask mandates are like Nazi Germany, if I have to wear one I will DIE 2026: if ICE can't wear masks they'll DIE do the Republicans actually >believe< in ANYTHING? serious question.

@georgialux.bsky.social Jadley Durkitt

i think everyone running for public office should be required to disclose the best they ever did on SimCity 2000.

I know it's ugly and unbecoming and all that, but have y'all tried slouching? it feels GREAT.

i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests - nazgul bodycams - morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring - shelob will be the new point of contact

@lukeoneil47.bsky.social i think the same chunks of my brain that light up when i read your writing, also light up for Blake Schwarzenbach, and this one is a doozy. curious what you think. and we can't talk about horrors >all< the time. youtu.be/-ZTvqUvgYCI?...

@georgialux.bsky.social can you give me any idea as to the thrust of the captions in this video? youtu.be/2-GFZ4bdSiQ?...

@davidjroth.bsky.social I wasn't planning on seeing the bone building or whatever it's called, and I've never followed your work for the movie reviews really, but after reading that piece, I think I'm gonna check it out. further bulletins as events warrant.

@lukeoneil47.bsky.social just saw this in the parking lot of a casino (my bus passes through). I can't even imagine what kind of fuckin' reprobate this is for. We Had It Coming indeed.

@sabs.bsky.social loved your piece about Ötzi :-) I'm no good with umlauts, but the way i understand it, it'd be pronounced like "etsy"?? is that how you read it too?

my new working theory is that a not-insignificant portion of the body politic has never seen a single movie.

(on why he's not having sex with his wife) "I'm using all my energy putting my foot down" - Pete Campbell, the final boss of little bitch

@mims.bsky.social my employer's Copilot, as of this morning, has mentioned a 12,000 token limit by several agents, never seen that language/restriction previously. Is Microsoft trying to push higher access tiers without telling anyone?

nothing ruins the delusion of "yes, my Spanish is good enough that i could converse with a native speaker" quite like hearing myself pronounce "bicicleta".

@robdelaney.bsky.social i went through all the trouble to find this, and then when i tried to post it, you had already deleted the post. Yer gonna look at it anyway!

@ihavethatonvinyl.com what do you think about this for a band name -> The Peppered Lepers.

I don't think I would vote for Newsom even if he buries musk.

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

The Spankbankies - an award show celebrating the best stuff I hammered on it to last year.

is John Cena still speedrunning the make a wish foundation?

@plumberduck.bsky.social did you notice in this weeks fallout they used "Future Enterprise Ventures" (bud's asst.)?? Wasn't FEV the thing that made supermutants? different acronym. i can't remember game canon.

@briancgrubb.bsky.social whoever said it was right, Zach Cherry IS the king of walking through corridors looking confused