@davidjroth.bsky.social starting live market odds on RFK saying he cracked open a glowstick and drank it, because they're so crooked that someone would take that action and then make him do it.

@ihavethatonvinyl.com If Creedence changed the "i hope you...got your things together" in Bad Moon Rising, to, "i hope you...got your shit together", it would make the song 10% better.

among the various "you'll be perfectly fine in a week or two" illnesses, is there anything worse than hot pee?

@edsbs.bsky.social football is so much more enjoyable when there's a dude named Peppers involved. Like naming a dog Duke or a cat Cleo.

macho man randy savage oppress

you've let these warped nihilists corrupt you long enough.

I have to come clean. in 2003, I chopped up clips of gunnery sgt. hartman and Harvey Keitel and bound them to TeamSpeak hotkeys, so I could talk smack during Counter Strike 1.5 matches. Absolute douche behavior, I'm ashamed of myself.

@mikeryan.bsky.social the brocktoon sketch would do numbers today if you made it a Facebook fan group. Sheesh.

@bransonreese.bsky.social I'm gonna be without da net for an extended period and I wanted to make sure I had reading material.

kinda want to email my Outlook calendar for next week with all the pomp of an NFL schedule. get everybody psyched for the weekly Wednesday sales call with Will and Jim.

I'm holding out on the android update as long as they let me because maybe it's just a security update or maybe they're gonna try to jam more ai into it.

@plumberduck.bsky.social 'biffs efforts' is the new 'cellar door' lmao

@mims.bsky.social is there a venue for purchasing your book that supports you more than another? After the 5th message I deleted before sending because 'well he probably covers this in his book ', I can't put it off any longer.

@juicieca.bsky.social i know what the headline says, but you'll never convince me these aren't the kids from the tc tuggers sketch

@plumberduck.bsky.social strongly worded/weakly sentenced is chef's kiss hahahaha

@georgialux.bsky.social barely remaining upright on the barstool, asking everyone that hoves into my field vision if they want a bit of "German penguin"

i feel like no one's talking about how Israel is just doing whatever the hell they want and then saying it's cool, we ceased fire, don't worry about it, and everyone's just like oh ok cool thanks.

I forgot Christina Hendricks' character's name in Mad Men for like 30 seconds. I think I might be dying.

@lukeoneil47.bsky.social I've been trying to come up with a good joke about this for 3 days and I've got absolutely nothing.

you've let these warped nihilists corrupt you long enough

@ihavethatonvinyl.com playlist idea: Leadoff HRs - best track 1s. Just because Cherub Rock always dominates the conversation, doesn't mean there aren't other big taters being mashed (my mom calls HRs taters)

@briancgrubb.bsky.social dean winchester off the top rope

i follow two different Vince <ItalianLastName>s, and sometimes i read one's posts in the other's voice. It's very disorienting.

@ihavethatonvinyl.com when your brain DJ wakes you up with Lars, you just have to eat lightning and crap thunder. youtu.be/4qeAnOX-UCk?...

Bring back the ancient knowledge

Anthropic warns that Charlie Brown could have hoes by Q3 of this year

@jonbois.bsky.social watchin' baseball youtu.be/bjNwByxBJGA?...

@bransonreese.bsky.social don't tell anyone but I'm going to start reading swan boy on my work PC

@kentremendous.bsky.social I just noticed you have an ep credit on Hacks. I swear, you have your hand on so many of my favorite shows, your batting average is just insane.

hey are we still gonna do this after It happens?

@mishacollins.bsky.social still can't tell if this was Misha or Malchemical talking.

@salonig.bsky.social Misha Collins we forever stan!!!!

pretty cool they felt the need to add that she shit her pants

@ihavethatonvinyl.com it will forever be amazing to me the songs that are in my head when I wake up. I haven't heard or thought about this in like 30 years. Enjoy your day. youtu.be/UHfFJub5MsM?...

I think we should put Donald Faison in a Marvel movie but NOT Zach Brap

curiosity is only one letter off from furiosity, think about that one, dickheads.

”I hope, I think, we’d like to see a solution that’s good.” nah, fuck that, bad solutions ONLY.

that there is a criminally underrated grain that could change the game of our food situation from scary to hunky-dunky

@kleinman.bsky.social there is a Meigs County in Ohio, and everytime it crosses my desk it makes me think of bsky.app/profile/ok-b...

the only authority I recognize with regards to the planetary status of Pluto is @astrokatie.com , so you can just save your breath.

mike white if you are reading this put tracy morgan in the white lotus

@mikeryan.bsky.social have you ever interviewed billy magnussen? he plays a dead eyed sociopath so well and often, it's hard for me not to imagine he's kinda off irl too.

radical and bumptious ideations

motherfucker that's miggs

girl, are you Eminem? because it feels so empty without you.