I'm looking for an app that can deliver a kind of "epic vulgar roast" that I can use at parties.

Last night I dreamed of something called a "Hog Salad"

When you default to assuming you're in the sky not on the ground.

Yes, we’re in an AI bubble, but one thing that’s often overlooked is how uncool this guy manages to make leather jackets look

Doom Patrol is something else so far. Morrison really cooking

Me: The Killer is an action movie but it's also a love story. Wife: Between the Killer and the lounge singer? Me: ... Oh yeah definitely.

Smoking good weed listening to Gary Numan Replicas on the walk to the theatre to see Predator Badlands on an unseasonably warm November evening: 10/10

This is a mood www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GQS...

Let's hear it once again for Gary Numan Replicas, the soundtrack of this walk.

McCain gets a lot of shit, but I will always remember him for what he did to save Nakatomi Plaza 🫡

It's incredibly patronizing when your watch congratulates you for standing up

Every time I get the urge to doomscroll on my phone, I read a comic book instead. I should have done this years ago.

Maybe it's petty but I get so mad paying a $1 booking fee, per seat for buying movie tickets online. You didn't do anything!

The "McDonald's Impact Summit" sounds like a made up event for a dying president.

If someone says the phrase "Not to yuck your yum", you should be allowed to slap them around a little bit

whole theater starts throwing popcorn and going apeshit

The police watchdog was like "Eh, we'll call this a draw"

I hear a few weeks into production, Cameron decided that this looked terrible and went with CG instead.

Thank god they are doing a live action remake (Green screened actors standing in front of digital backgrounds) of this movie which will be a huge improvement over the original (Animated characters standing in front of digital backgrounds)

oh my god

I feel like there is no way this can work, and I'm not sure who wanted it

Inflatable Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, standing in the middle of a green lawn, long yellow extension chord snaking across the grass, orange tent pegs holding him in place, waiting for snow.

“He blew him, Brendan. He blew Bubba and now Putin has a picture of it. Makes sense though. If a guy sucks your dick you have to invite him to your daughter’s wedding, it’s part of the code. The brojob code, Brendan”

Nightdive Studios should have put a disclaimer on the console version of System Shock 2 that says "Do not play this game on console". Yeesh, what a mess.

Just ate 6 Reese Peanut Butter Cups and now there is a SWAT team outside my house

I'm also pretty frustrated that the NYT sat on publishable info about Trump and Epstein

I've heard enough. This guy is bad news.

Hold my calls

Oh, so green might taste like red? Who gives a shit! Fuck you.

Instant block if you post this awful picture. Hasn't failed me yet.

Lol Fallout 4 for Switch 2 is gonna be 100 dollars, isn't it

Honey! We're all out of Dude Wipes!

You should always take the time to listen to Maggot Brain

Grocery exec, observing a grey strawberry that tastes like wet air: "This should be at least ten dollars."

The name of this painting is "Uncle's Fantasy"

one of the best first verses i’ve ever heard lol

The very end of Mulholland Drive but it’s Chuck Schumer being tormented by the grinning Baileys until there’s only one way out

The people on Linkedin feel like the zombies in the Dawn Of The Dead mall. What are they doing? Why do they come here? Some kind of instinct. Memory of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives.

I would rather die of embarrassment than take someone to court over a sandwich

when you smell the onions and mustard

RFK jr strapping Scott Adams' corpse to the roof of his car and driving him across country to his workshop.

There is a very strange new phenomena where everyone who rails against purity tests is also very dumb. It's weird!

Grammarly is like "I see you are writing dialogue. Would you like to make it really stiff and unnatural?"

I’ve seen many photos of saw-whets over the years, displaying the species’ keen stink-eye ability. It was humbling, to be this owl’s target. #birds

if you are looking for something to watch tonight (or even this weekend) and you have Hulu, I really, really recommend diving into The Lowdown I wrote about it a few weeks ago when it premiered and I stand by just about all of it type-click-type.ghost.io/you-guys-got...

Oh Biffo!

The Thermostat Wars have begun