Psychedelic Eyeball has a distinct dialect among Let's Play creators. Into this essay, I will...

Still should free him

Thinking about that 37GB torrent of How It's Made

That's weird

Guy behind and across from me on the train is playing easy listening on his phone speakers and shaving with an electric razor. Decent strategy, all told.

Bullshit it's probably orzo

Getting mad at the person in front of you for reclining their seat is like blaming the person in line in front of you at the grocery store who didn't bring a reusable bag for climate change

Happy Lincoln's Birthday to all who work for an organization that moved that holiday to today instead of just also giving you today off

I should complain about everybody east of Pacific Time posting about the parade like people complained about everybody posting about the 18-inning baseball game

btw, you don't *have* to act like today represents genocide. It didn't start that way and you can choose not to perpetuate it.

The same small child asked "Why are we stopped?" and then thirty seconds later "Why are we going?" I dunno you little shit, deduce something for once in your life, god!

Amtrak conductor accidentally announced Oceanside instead of Oxnard and almost ruined some holidays lol

Seatmate: "Excuse me" Me: *stops pretending to be asleep* Seatmate, gesturing at my mask: "Are you feeling sick?" Hey I didn't make you sit here, buddy

If somebody makes a "last and final boarding call" and a few minutes later somebody makes another "last and final boarding call" then everybody on-board should get a free drink

Somewhere lurking in my scrambled eggs is a piece of eggshell. It'll be a fun surprise in a minute.

My new t-shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my new t-shirt

I have dozens of shows and movies in the backlog on my projector, but fuck it, we 800-pound ball

The sun sets on Mount Shasta, from way too far away in X-Plane 11

I had the opportunity to do "November Rain" at karaoke the day after it actually rained during November and I bailed after two lines because I couldn't find it. I've been singing this song for over thirty years and practicing it for karaoke for a month. fuck

I'm old enough now that I officially have an Opinion about symmetry in crossword grids

If I were Commander Riker, I would tell Captain Picard that the captain's chair on the bridge filters out fart noises and odors

😳

John Cougar Melonballer

"Or what? You'll release the armed men? Or the bullets theoretical? Or the armed men with bullets theoretical in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bullets possible at you?"

My half-awake brain identified the dogs that were featured in my dream as "Abynissian", which not only is a breed of cat, but isn't even spelled right. (They were Afghan hounds.)

Harrison Butker? Oi barley kneu 'arrison Butker!

The Chargers are putting on a clinic today. Unfortunately, the topic is "How To Play Like the Chargers".

This is my favorite play to defend against in Tecmo Super Bowl because the WR will *always* attempt to lateral to the QB, even if you already ran through the line and just bowled him over. Depending on where the QB landed, this can sometimes result in a forward pass for a fumble!

@voxandra.gay I told my gf that you paused Mega Man so you could type "Goodbye, My Rose Garden" in chat and be sure she got it and she said "Daw 🥰 Spreading the good gospel of lesbian romance is that important."

If I got sent back in time and found myself reliving my youth, the only thing I'd do differently is I would constantly raise my hand in class and when called on would answer "I don't know"

Glen Haw-ell

Glen Haw-ell

Whoever is in my neighborhood and keeps shouting to their friends should cool it

Being nice to all the scrub jays and picking up all the trash when I go camping in the hopes I'm reincarnated as a corvid in a campground

Just watched a middle-aged guy in a pickup drive past my neighbor's upside-down flag and get real mad about it lol

sorry bro I rolled a d20 and it said you were a centrist

More like Jeremy Rennet because he should be stuffed into a cow stomach and turned into cheese

I Dream of Goatse

The science is clear: the smaller my shirt is, the hotter I look

McDonnell Douglass

Still can't believe they reworked this exit into two separate signs

Now that I'm 43, I take two Little Blue Pills before my SO comes over 😏😉 (two Aleve)

I would say they need to drive a stake through Dick Cheney's heart to make sure, but

Ah, the day DST ends, when it takes forever to get to events on your calendar, you're hungry and sleepy all day, and the sun goes down before you've finished your lunch

Watching movie about getting older because I recently got older

William Shatner? 'e barely touched 'er!

Took a picture of my 10th anniversary books for Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side, next to each other on my shelf