“Tell me about yourself.” Doves:

The major 4 conference champions are Georgia, Texas Tech, Duke, and Indiana, and I’m receiving reports that the sport is football.

I found out BYU missed the playoff because of BYU business school goons posting about it on LinkedIn.

@shutdownfullcast.bsky.social only time will tell if he made the right decisions

good move by the committee to keep out the dorks

Older I get the more I think conference champions should be the only ones eligible for a natty.

What does Hallmark show when it isn’t Christmas season?

I’ve been a Texas Tech Red Raiders fan for as long as I can remember.

Dakota Johnson is winning gold after gold in the nepotism Olympics. Absolutely nobody’s rich parents are coming close to getting their kids what she’s getting.

If you’re waiting for a sign to start estrogen, I am looking directly at you through the screen and saying “Do it. Yes you’re afraid. That’s okay. Do it anyways. Regardless of what they’ll think. You deserve to be happy, too.”

The robot waiters at this restaurant have very convincing human flesh

Bring back courtesy!

if you regularly treat people poorly, you should worry about folks telling you to eat shit at AFCA or NACDA. You should worry about stains to your reputation that winning alone can't clean. You should care, even for self interested reasons, about at least trying to do "the right thing" most times.

Where does Ryan Day go down in tOSU history if he wins 6 of the next 10 natties but never beats Michigan?

Can’t believe ASU blew it last night. And no I don’t think it was unreasonable to ask for Utah to back into its second CCG this decade by way of at least 3 games going right in the last weekend for a rematch against a team Utah already lost to but that I’m pretty sure they could beat now.

this may be a little pedantic but i think you fetishize a real rule of law to have a structure that has meaning. when you break the law you know damn well you are breaking it and risking your safety to do so. fascism is an undermining of the rule of law by declaring the rogue state as the new rule.

Feel like I'm losing my mind here. Hey Ole Miss, you'd better let your more powerful rival's head coach do whatever he wants in your building every day until the portal opens

Nothing will top the one that was like “thank god for AI restaurants now know not to seat you outdoors when it’s raining”

Wife and I are traveling on Thanksgiving so to keep some of that holiday magic alive I am going to become moderately imbibed and then scream at somebody older than me on my flight row about how their generation ruined everything for the rest of us until a third person is crying

Remember as you watch the NFL game today that even though the players are getting paid millions of dollars, there are real people working for stadium operations, concessions, or beer sales, who are also making millions of dollars. Happy thanksgiving to everyone.

Okay, so you’re not running for President (me neither btw), so this is just one of those regular grifts from a public official.

There’s only like 15 of you whose reskeets I would not be horrified by anyway

[re: Utah fan voicemail] Holly: Was that man jacking it? Spencer: Please don’t be jacking it when you call the voicemail line. So proud of my Utes right now. @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

As we enter Thanksgiving week, my one piece of learned advice: Do not get too drunk or high until the thing is out of the oven.

How the fuck did Utah win last night?

DnD night

Thrives!

My Utes gave up at least 275,000 rushing yards (precincts still tallying) yet still won

There’s no way this isn’t for a grift she can make even more money on in bad faith. But your rival’s head coach job isn’t even open!

Been going to a new local BBQ spot (shoutout Kenny J’s!) but it has never been very busy, certainly not as busy as it deserved to be. Tonight the line is out the door and half the menu is sold out. And you know what? Hell yeah.

Sam Altman looks like he is begging the class not to pants him in front of his mom again

You were my strength… Ohhhh when I couldn’t speEeak… You saw the best there was in me! OooohhhhhooOOOOOOHHHH! Cause you believed! I’m everything I am because you loved me-HEEAYYYYYYYEEAHHHHHHHHH!!! My VooOoIIOooooHOoooo! You saw the best there was in me! OooooOohoOOOoooOoah! Belieeeved!

Maybe the real A.I. bubble is the (not real) friends we (literally) made along the way

I remember when there was a discussion on Twitter about Shein's manufacturing practices and some apologists invented all sorts of fantastical machinery and technology to avoid facing the more horrifying truth. Reminds me of this comedian's joke. IG bscomedian

This hits me somewhere between “let people enjoy things” and “we all agree it’s weird that the rich old guy likes watching his comically young girlfriend act even younger than her age, right?”

I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.

MTG could be telling the truth for the first time but on the other hand she could be lying for the 10,000,000th time

“We’ll use Black people as slaves.” “You can’t.” “Then we’ll use women and children.” “You can’t.” “Then we’ll just use women.” “You can’t.” “Then we’ll use immigrants.” “You can’t.” “Then we’ll use robots.” “Okay.” “Black ones.”

I didn't have to meet Jeffrey Epstein to be a victim. I was 15. This issue won't die because these survivors, and survivors of other predators worldwide, will not let it. We do it for who we are now, and for the girl we lost back then.

Baylor won time of possession, had 563 yards, 28 first downs, and in reward lost by 27 points at home. It would seem Go Utes are in order.

Airports have to be some of the most farted-in buildings

Every single time! Epstein will write: "porsecters h4arrsed me w/ sbuopenas al bcuase tr4ificing myners .due porcess much???no" and then there's, like, the former president of a university or white house counsel or something replying: "You're totally right, and also I love you with all my heart."

book cut me like a switchblade

I would vote for Ben McAdams unless any left-handed person was running

Mr. Romney, sir, I know this is basically your healthcare dream, but you're our only hope. Please, sir...

Waiting at crosswalks until a Waymo comes and jumping in front it

Because both parties are getting paid by the same GOP donors and stocks

Things are bad but please take a small amount of solace in the fact that Kim Davis woke up today in a country that still has gay marriage and that (for now) she still has a $360,000 fine to pay.

Last night I was angry. Today I’m back to helpless. What am I supposed to do? Call and complain Mike fucking Lee’s voicemail? Hoping by lunch or so helplessness cycles back around to inspired for change.