If you went back in time and subbed in a blueberry muffin instead of the replacement Australian goalkeeper the timeline would be unaffected when you got back.

Fuckin chimneys mate

This is funny and all, but I actually wrote about this for extra points. It’s a real thing (and legal in college sports) for improving blood flow at elevation

@celebrityhottub.bsky.social @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social my wife says I can’t buy this but I want it to go to a good home

“It’s Danny Ainge time.” - Danny Ainge

It’s gonna be You Belong With Me

Holy shit I can’t believe LeBron James is going to win sixth man of the year for the Utah Jazz

my the sun is yellow lawn sign is 6 feet from the edge

When it happens they’re going to impeach JD Vance before sundown the following day

Somebody tell SCOTUS their job is to decide what the document says not what they think it should say

Play for Germany

Hell to the yeah!

hell yeah

@jasonkirk.fyi related to Fridays Until Saturday newsletter: if you are not already aware, keep an eye on Remi Wolf. Don’t think she qualifies with only 2 albums (first “album” is a remix of singles, other EPs, all of which are great), but Big Ideas and Juno are some of the most fun pop I’ve heard.

Sports rock because I can just randomly post about Sione Vaki and a bunch of Utah fans will be like “hell yeah”

Crunchwrap the Supreme Court imo

So we are just gonna breeze past the part where Kahan was like “listen we all shit our pants but only at work”?

Seems unfair that the U.S. has to play both Bosnia and Herzegovina

Conservative men are the biggest losers imaginable lmao

Our selfishness is going to doom us. We’d rather have fireworks than an unburnt state. If you are lighting fireworks in Utah this year you’re a loser.

I think we may have reached TSA Pre-check equilibrium. Wife beat me through security today in the general line by 15 minutes. Sample size of 1 but still comfortable now labeling it officially a scam.

theyre not “predictors” theyre gamblers, hes trying to get 18-34 year olds addicted to gambling

If you are Christian and you are pro war, no you are not.

Rest in piss Morelias Family Restaurant!

You know who shouldn’t have air conditioning? Christians. Every time you use air conditioning you’re saying God made a mistake when He set the temperature.

My initial reaction to this was “hurr durr the Dems gonna do nothin” but fuck that, you are the party and not them, so This Supreme Court wants you dead.

It would be cool if they applied this same energy to winning elections against Republicans.

The best part about this administration is that their plans are bad they always do and ultimately will fail.

BREAKING NEWS: Governor Spencer Cox to declare a state of emergency for wildfires, pre-empt law that limits cities from enacting fireworks bans, FOX 13 News has learned. #utpol #Utah

Michelle Pfeiffer on your porch in a white shirt with a black tie and name tag sitting on a backwards chair

Because this is a hot topic: Gov. Cox does not have the power to ban fireworks. He's said in the past if he could, he would. The legislature has blocked him and cities from enacting all-out bans (there are limited circumstances when a town is fully in a wildland urban interface). #utpol #Utah

I continue to think that Mamdani’s inability to stop smiling really takes the sting out of this stuff “this man is destroying the country!” *smash cut to an extremely happy-looking Mamdani smiling like a dork* everyone else in this one looks quite nice too

went down to the centrist convention. they’re all shaking and crying, I heard one guy say “I’m starting to think a better world IS possible.” the lady next to him slapped him in the face

I’ve never been so sure the Jazz are about make us all sick to our stomachs

Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through 6/26, enjoy free standard shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.

Other countries cannot fathom Houston’s flatness

Emojis are great because now my mom can clarify whether she was silently feeling like she was crying laughing or like she was sobbing because it is so true that it is funny or like she is shaking while laughing and tilted 45° to the side, and other things she’s never done once in real life.

Dick ripping futures plummeting @iankarmel.bsky.social @seanjordancomedy.bsky.social

“Eat my ass, sir.”

I don’t know if it was just the broadcast audio not picking it up or what but thats easily the quietest crowd pop I’ve seen for somebody winning a golf tournament, not to mention the U.S. Open. They really do not like this guy.

You don’t need to wish God happy Father’s Day. The Guy has whole day every single week.

Watching my boomer parents try and work a rental car touchscreen is what I imagine it was like when Prometheus gave fire to man

Shoutout to the Ben McAdams campaign getting a half mil from Andreeson Horowitz and Palantir! If Utah Dems blow this opportunity to put a real candidate forward then they are truly hopeless. Lenin could win Utah CD1 and they are still racing to the middle. Absolute refusal to fight back.

People don’t know this but Schrödinger’s cat was named Hormuz

I think during the World Cup the whole world should get the commercials from the host country

“You won’t be complaining about locusts blocking out the sun in the summertime!”

America is about fun and indulgence but we take our brands very seriously. No matter how tall and handsome your players are you simply can’t fly 20 hours for a competition on the world stage and get off the plane with your team named the Socceroos and expect to be taken seriously here.

“The brain is a muscle, as we all know.” Sports broadcasts always the best source for your biological facts.

pausa de hidratación

American exceptionalism has always been on the backs of other nations, Australia walked into our trap.