Did y'all see that?!? Cause I didn't 🤫

All the other teams should send their mascots to sit around Marlins Man.

Playing my first DnD game in a couple weekends. End of transmission.

Who among us

We all remember how the war in Gaza started 2 years ago and that October 2023 was the first time any of us talked about it.

Oh my god I almost forgot it is extra BYU hate week.

Is the Big Ten overrated? #7 Indiana is out-punching #3 Oregon who is ranked 3 in large part because of their victory against Penn State who has since lost to UCLA and was losing to Northwestern in the 4Q until moments ago. I’m just saying, maybe every major conference is ass this season.

“Da-boom-da-da-mmm-dum-na-ee-ma”

It’s crazy to me how different my wife and I are like she had no interest in the kickass custom AF1s I designed for her

Hard to catch Jeff Rosenstock in one place long enough for a good photo

Awards stopped having any meaning or prestige to me after they gave Rush Limbaugh the Presidential Medal of Freedom and Ben Simmons the 2018 Rookie of the Year

I have mentally prepared myself for “Donald J. Trump, Nobel Peace Prize Recipient” and you should too

Me and my friends, hammers, etc.

It’s crazy how “it’s illegal“ isn’t a barrier to entry for business anymore

I’m jealous too

He’s listening to The Life of a Showgirl on that headset

What an awful fucking story. I hope everyone that was involved with charging him without evidence gets sued into a cardboard box

@edsbs.bsky.social idk if you’ve been made aware yet but there was a real unscripted Alabama or England on AFE this week @iankarmel.bsky.social

Normalize angry mobs running Nazis out of town

This is why we fund scientists to study things like oyster slobber even if you don’t think it sounds important

Just made an industry joke in the bathroom at this conference and it fell flat so unfortunately I have to change my name and start a new life somewhere else.

People complain about cancel culture but this is the exact reason it's so important to run wife beaters out of public life

Just tried White Castle for the first time and I’d rather eat dog food

No no no, you don’t understand, it’s my wife who is the piece of shit.

Random and apropos

When is Danny DeVito going to age

Utah never beating the allegations that they have no plans for backup QBs

If Devon Dampier stays healthy and there isn’t too much coaching/portal madness this offseason, he’s going to be a popular Heisman candidate for 2026.

USC DBs approach ball carriers like a cat approaches its own reflection in a mirror

“Mental health” differences disappear when you ask about “mood” bc conservatives don’t want to use the words “mental health.”

I know one thing for certain and that is that we have either never had contact with aliens or if we have nobody has told Trump about them yet because by now he definitely would have gone on TV and called them a slur

“I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars: We are here. We are waiting. To tell you about a new opportunity you have to make yourself rich. All you need to start is 3 or more Autobots in your down line.”

Are we sure about blueberries?

Remember, don’t take acetaminophen if you are pregnant, and take horse de-wormer when you have a runny nose and headache.

Sorry I’ve been offline. I was briefly raptured but it was a false alarm (God changed his mind about saving humanity)

I’m just saying that last time she said this she ended up running as nominee instead like 2 days later

Yeah but Cane’s sauce comes from God’s teat

The guy who destroyed his body doing heroin wants you to know that tylenol is dangerous

Florida banned woke and that’s why our football team is so sleepy

Ngl, I think there is a decent chance this blows up completely in their faces from an optics standpoint

Utah’s visiting opponent has 14 penalties for 122 yards plus 2 turnovers, and is on their backup QB since about halftime. Is Utah: a) Leading by 24 b) Trailing by 24

Devon Dampier is the third best QB in this game.

The defense is stifling. The offense is hopeless. Utah football is inevitable.

Dillon Curtis with a 2nd attempt (32 yards) ... and that one is good. Devon Dampier with 5-of-6 on that drive and moved the ball with ease. Where was that earlier? Utah 3 | Texas Tech 10

Texas Tech leads Utah 10-3 at halftime. Good news is the turnover pace is down to 10.

the ball has other plans today and is attempting to escape this Texas Tech/Utah game

On pace for 12 turnovers in this one folks