I love this weird ad for Lockheed Martin recruitment. "You didn't become an engineer to build push notifications", but you became an engineer to murder people??? Like... phone apps are more robust than that easily hacked software on their Sentinel drones.

If It Doesn't Exist, MAKE IT. Aka. The motivational bnuy. #originalart

A survey sent out by my school. Are you male, female, transgender, genderqueer, other, or prefer not to respond? 💀

I think I encountered the perfect analogy for the Senate Democrats today...

After closer inspection, it says"Take away my gun and I'll buy a bow." So I guess my philosophy question is solved 🥲

Gender Dysphoria is when you reveal Anor Londo's lies about the nature of society, have frustrations about getting left behind and enter your experimental phase like Gwyndolin, and then decide that hanging out with all the weirdos in the Painted World was more fun anyways.

Reason I love this city, number X out of X+1.

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

I wasn't expecting this one to pop up on the bus 😅

RIP Baudrillard you would have loved this shit

STOP having "conversations" with ChatGPT and START talking to your stuffed animals like a normal person

Cheney croaked, Zohran won, and sandwich guy is free. All time great week imo.

that's the first of the three shofar blasts, right

The process I'm having to go through in order to take the L.

I decided to go out tonight, and I'm glad I did: there's a guy walking out his ferret.

Just asked ChatGPT what Baudrillard would think about ChatGPT, and reality, unfortunately, did not collapse into a singularity 🥲

"Are you AFAB or AMAB?" "$20 and I'll tell you." "I just wanted to know because I wanted to know if you could see the color differences in this image." "... seeing colors has nothing to do with that." "... oh." Gonna get clocked by colors, smdh.

Got a typewriter fixed up and working!

Gram staining is like driving a stick shift: it works out perfectly so long as you don't actively think about what you're doing.

I learned this line as a recommendation from GM Daniel Naroditsky in one of his speedrun videos. Damn...

Still my favorite train 💯

When Windows Update is more encouraging than your therapist.

Over a year after my final visit with my previous primary care doctor, I still think about her medical assistant who would stand outside the examination room I was in and would say "AY YO, THEY GO BY ASPEN" to anyone about to enter. He's a real one.

Vallejo.

I was about to send the message, "Hey BlueSky, I'm in need of life advice: How did you overcome your self-doubt and choose the riskier path over the safer path?" and then I remembered, "Wait a fucking minute: I'm trans. I already know the answer."

As it turns out, you can just change settings to display everything in grayscale and it's like a million times easier on your eyes. Or it is for me at least 😭💕 I'm still working through "using accessibility settings isn't a bad thing, and yes, you are, in fact, allowed to use them."

The local Chinese restaurant is closed on the night that Yom Kippur ends? YEESH. That's quite the oversight...

*consumes nothing but coffee and pills in the morning* Hmm... why does my tummy ache? 🤔

I have officially reached the "take the clothes out of the dryer, stick them in the washer, and not realize what you've done until three minutes later" level of distracted.

Today I learned that a friend of mine has an identical twin and that if you smile and wave to someone you've never met before, they think you're weird. 💀

Apparently my handwriting is so small and neat that clearly it's typed and, therefore, my medical records request from an old doctor of mine got denied for not having a "wet" signature. Now I wait another 30 business days after I filled out a records request form LiKe tHiS to prove I wrote it.

Study: Pretending Everything's Okay Works https://theonion.com/study-pretending-everythings-okay-works-1819573735/

Tylenol usage causes autism? It's completely backwards: autism causes Tylenol usage. Proof: you should watch my mother pop some Tylenol after I start going on about some of the intricacies of the reproduction of Saccharomyces cerevisiae.

Update: the instructor went through all of the homework and practice assignments and added in "No loops until they're introduced in lecture", and started lecture with "Hey all, before we begin, we have a new rule..." 💀 The Aspen Rule

🍎🍏🍯🐝 5786 🎆🎇🎆🎇

It finally happened!!! 😭 [Child points at me] Child, to Dad: "Is that a girl?" Dad: "Shh, don't do that." Child: "But—" Dad: "Uhh... so videogames, you play that with a controller? Tell me about them." [desperate to talk about literally anything else] Me: [tries to hold in her laughing]

My wallet and keys are in my purse. This post is being made to hold myself accountable in order to not dig through my purse multiple times in order to make sure I have my wallet and keys before I walk out the door. If I check my purse for my wallet and keys, I'll post an embarrassing selfie.

I enjoyed the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum more than I thought I would. What they had on display at the time was a really nice cross-section of her work. They weren't afraid to show some of her early, rougher works in addition to her renowned modernist and postmodernist statements. Quite lovely☺️

Sometimes I get sir'd. Sometimes I get ma'am'd. The important thing is that fellow queers clock me as queer, which means I get extra strong drinks at gay bars.

I'm at a combination donut - pizza place (as in they make both), and I just watched a guy dump a whole lot of parmesan cheese out of a shaker onto his donut. This is the chaos I live for.

One out of three leasing flags at half mast. For him 🫡

To the individual in the Barnes and Noble wearing the blue and white star cloak with a they/them pin in your beanie, That's redundant information. Just saying.

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board:

Who's going to be brave and order the Chef's Special Kung Pao Duck Fuck?

No, Bluesky AI moderation: me saying that Charlie is about 3 MOA at that distance is not encouraging violence. It's a statement of fact. 🥲

youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_... Still a bop.

A woman creates, and consumes, nine freezer burritos in the span of a week. This is what happened to her microwave oven. "A. B." is a 31 year old woman, presenting to the kitchen with a case of "hangry." H- as in "hungry", and -angry, as in angry. "Hangry", as in so hungry that she's angry. She—

One last soundcloud upload. made more of my loud droning ambient noise nonsense soundcloud.com/westerndesol...

i’m genuinely pleading with you to read this entire article