KILL ME! I am at the hospital picking up meds. I see somebody walking past with a get well soon balloon and a bag of idk like clothes and such. And i point at the balloon and go "looks like it worked" and the person looks at me and says "my grandma just died"

princess: "okay well princess was using the power of imagination to defeat you like in spongebob" our knight from the 1400s: "babe what the fuck is a spongebob?"

There’s a TV app called DogTV and it’s shows for dogs and it’s just dogs doing stuff and interjected voices saying things like “good girl” and “want to go on a walk?” and I feel like the greater puppygirl community needs to know this.

This is so dumb. I love it

'And so they were both hard dommes with dombreaking fetishes' *Image of a blasted post-apocalyptic wasteland*

Id been waiting for this article since it was announced and holy fuck it was worth the wait

Why don't Japanese people pick up snakes? They're too ヘビ

If an angel statue is removed from a fountain is it now a sans seraph font?

To fund their lives of decadence They lower wages raise the rents Making billions and paying cents Counting on our reverence "The poor are made to serve the rich" I pray we serve them spiced Cuz swine can be quite bland sometimes But, seasoned its real nice

I just left umamusume dawn of a new era. It was good. Was not expecting an extended mindbreak sequence in the middle of the film ngl

@cordeliathewitch.bsky.social happy birthday again songbird.

CW: depressive episode, self-medicating via alcohol, incredibly bleak worldview, self-isolation

Reminder that not only am I kind of funny but I am also kind of cute <3

Me_irl

I have people actively attempting to give me at least one of five new kinks that i dont have and i just wanna know why?!

i considered making a version of this to be about kione, but honestly, nearly everything kione does should probably be credited to handler anyways

Ive decided that being AB positive blood type and not having a blood kink is like being really tall but not liking basketball. Im sorry for letting yall down.

People have said this is a vampire ass statement and i just wanna clear that up rq. Am I: Simultaneously alluring and repulsive to society Possessed of the weariness of many more decades than it it appears i have ever lived Able to make people terrified that i will somehow produce more of me 1/3

The only jobs puppygirls should have to worry about are paw jobs am i right fellas?!

Animal taxonomy is super cool because if you dig down deep enough you discover that there is no such thing as a fish even though everybody knows what a fish is.

PACKMATES [Oneshot] [I hope] Handlers are in the business of breaking people, and creating dogs in their stead. They hold utter dominion over the essence of their subjects, or so they think. But what if a rebel already is not alone in her mind, even before a Hound is carved from their psyche?

Evangelicals are the single greatest threat to continued life on this planet and I am not kidding.

Cuck with fomo is this anything? send skeet

I love your fit btw. You look great.

Cute shit is cute

Capitalism is kind of a "bad end" that happens when you're born

Guys keep me in your thoughts The mechanic found a lump on my truck nuts.

I wanted to fly to monaco, but when I got off the plane, I was in Germany. I guess using Air Italia was a mistake.

Swirly eyes are so cool i wish hypnosis was real

we need to normalize revolutions again

I have considered the implications of premarin in the umamusume world and would like to un-consider them now, thank you.

I tell everybody i know who has read Warhound these 4 things to read next if they want a glimpse of what you can do in the space: MURDERHOUND FLOWERBLOOM ANGELS OF THE KILLING HYMN HEKATES CALL If YOU have not read one or more of these... Please do they are so good trust me

Oh sure EVERYBODY wants a bdsm robot gf until all of a sudden they realize that I had to avoid programming Asimovs laws of robotics into them and now everybody thinks they are "dangerous" and a "hazard" and "killed that one person"

Being from the USA is writing this after you find out your country bombed a school and killed 50 kids only to have that number be almost 2.5 times that much a day or two later and you are stuck wondering how many of them you killed by paying taxes and not doing enough.

If Leo gains a neutron he becomes an isopope

Its funny that i have gotten more compliments for my hair with my roots like this than when they were fresh dyed. Idk, fam.

Hey! If you like 'I Must Consume You', please consider supporting me on Patreon! Support starts at a few bucks a month, and I put out stories — including chapters of 'Situation Normal' and 'GameHer Rig' — exclusively on Patreon months before they're available anywhere else!

It sure is weird how, when I was young, so many people told me there's absolutely no reason to study history or philosophy, and now there's a conveyor belt of cranks and charlatans who use bad philosophy and misinterpret history to push bigoted agendas. What a weird coincidence

I realize I never posted the unhinged shirt I had printed last year 🤣

uhhh oh my god

Heres my million dollar idea. Its called reservoir puppies and its about the reservoir dogs gang as kids but they still say fuck a lot.

"But isn't it ok for the U.S. to use force to stop evil?" WE ARE EVIL. Don't you get it?! We aren't "God's righteous soldiers", we are his MURDERERS!

Based

👉👈 👉👈 👉👈 🥺 👉👈 👉👈 👉👈 Biblically accurate bottom