embarrassed myself yesterday in front of three beautiful women as I stood there (they were sitting) and tried to find the word for quiche by stating “it’s got like eggs and stuff, starts with a C” not the part of my post-op follow-up i thought would be most embarrassing but alas

“I just got out of the briefing and I think you should hold your loved ones tight” thanks senator, very encouraging

Reform UK is just the political party from V for Vendetta but instead of manufacturing an actual domestic crisis, it’s just the natural end result of decades of neoliberalism

truly humbling to realize I was not in fact just doing good at recovery, i was just powering through by a steady supply of good drugs, and as soon as I lost those it sucked REAL HARD

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

this theory did so much long term damage to me that it can honestly never be mitigated. truly set back my entire transition by like a decade at least. despicable stuff, to be expected from rags like The Atlantic and NYT these days

the AWS post-mortem after that one Call of Duty game where the russians are inexplicably paradropping into Northern Virginia would be crazy

“We invoke international law and the “rules based international order” when adversaries engage in unlawful actions, but abandon those same rules entirely when it’s the Americans…For a country that depends on law more than force for its own security, that is not realism; it is recklessness.”

they call it neopussy because it's got that new car smell

stephen king tried to warn us about Maine

there’s just this gay cis dude here also recovering from bottom surgery and honestly respect. more dudes should get a pussy, that’s cool as hell. iconic commitment to bottoming

imagine genuinely thinking this and then learning about how popular skyr is becoming

not only is Newsom a giant asshole but also he’s a cringe loser which is almost worse maybe try to find a joke that isn’t also a dunk on a marginalized group of your own supporters, jackass

the hardest part about bottom surgery isn’t the eight hours a day of aftercare, it’s balancing that with eating well and wanting to sleep twenty hours a day

So I’ve been showing any of my friends who asks my surgical results and so far quite positive reviews for only six days post-op

holy hell that’s awesome

i’ve finally declared iOS keyboard bankruptcy since it insists on correcting words to misspelled versions of them which is diabolical

Today is the day I get to see my surgical results for the first time. The anticipation is almost as high as the anxiety 😅

going to sleep with 3/10 pain and waking up to like 7/10 pain is awful, absolutely can’t recommend

good news everyone, EI is working exactly as intended (litigating the smallest possible thing to the point where you give up entirely on it and cry on the phone instead)

shout out to Service Canada for calling me at 11am, leaving a voicemail and an email, and requiring me to call back between 6am and 2pm "within 1 working day(s)" actual psychopath behaviour, deeply hostile government, and supremely evil way to administer any social program

shout out to transcare bc for being legitimately proactive, crazy that this is probably the most well organized experience I’ve had in Canadian healthcare before lol

Premier Kinew and Minister Asagwara aren’t leaving seniors at the mercy of the market, they’re stepping in to save these precious elder care beds. This is exactly what we mean when we say that the role of the government is to goddamn govern.

as a lesbian, i date to: > get married > die old together > get buried in our beautiful garden > haunt our manor forever and ever

job hunting sucks, but also being able and willing enough to work in person does make it slightly less demotivating just because of less competition

application deadline is tomorrow so I guess starting Wednesday is when we get to think i was rejected

applying for a job that you like, really want, is so insanely stressful even compared to the rest of job hunting where there's a bit of an emotional disconnect what do you mean i could do a thing i'm good at for an organization i like improving things in a way that makes sense to me?

As tensions build with Canada, many young Republicans are expressing concern about their future ability to visit their girlfriends.

starting a cover letter with "dear future coworkers" is either a winning move or a catastrophic failure, but at least it isn't "to whom it may concern"

fun fact, grocery stores also have big coolers so that crying in the walk-in is not limited to only restaurant employees! you, too, can retreat to the comfort of a very cold room to allow emotions to return to your soul

Hungary?????

man i love al gore, like, he's a democrat so obviously a spineless loser, but it is cool that i've shook hands with a man who heckled one of these losers at an international summit

having to stop everything fun weeks before surgery doubly sucks when valentine's day is like... 4 days before surely "stop drinking" just means "so we can know you're not an alcoholic and give you narcotics safely" but alas, i do love a good set of rules

Living off the LAN

"Be Gay, Hate Cops" Seen in Valence, France

gender-affirming lack of ability to open the pickle jar without the jar gripper tool

"twenty-thousand years of this, seven more to go" alas, always off by one. bad time for the price is right rules

making a hand roll out of rice, bologna, and a cheese slice. call that a comic sans ham and cheese sandwich

she's playing with her jewellery (stimming), she's putting up her hair (its in her face), she's touring the facility (lost and won't ask for help), she's picking up slack (afraid of confrontation with coworkers) my brother, she is autistic

referring to the shared grocery list as the “grocery store death note” to my wife so she understands that I will simply make food appear in the house if it goes on that list

the amount of time i've spent wanting to get a slow cooker again without realizing that my instant pot is also a slow cooker is, frankly, embarrassing

this is unambiguously cool as hell looking, even if you don't like modern stuff you have to appreciate putting your whole ass into something this hard. we should make public buildings cool as hell all the time, its already gonna be expensive might as well pick the pricier but cooler one

there's something about the holiday season that makes me want to just change my entire life. i always seem to change jobs, move, etc in like November, the most miserable month of the year to do any of that sort of thing

by not being able to afford to rent a medium density row townhouse with a front porch open to the street i am being robbed of my ability to buy various inflatable decorations we must destroy capitalism so i can enjoy a bit of festive joy finally

accurate depiction of me

for the bread price fixing that pete buttigieg was involved in in canada btw

under the shelter of each other, people survive

surely the most interesting job in the world is working as a fence in france like, one day you’re hawking napoleons gems and the next it’s €90,000 of mollusks

Every Other Trans Woman Thinking They Look Like A Boy Is Stupid and Blind But When I Think That It's Correct: A Child's Guide to Gender Dysphoria.