It feels like Donald Trump won't finish this term.

Just had a discussion with my aunt about her orange cat: AUNT: Well, you know, he was born with a condition. ME: Orange? AUNT: He was born with two conditions—

Dogs: OUT Me: No. you just want to fight the owls again. Dogs: WHAT NO!!! LOVE OWLS!!! MUST WISH OWLS MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Me: At full volume? Loud enough to wake the neighbors? Who are my elderly parents? Dogs: IS NO OTHER WAY

"Stephen Colbert is a pathetic trainwreck, with no talent or anything else necessary for show business success." EMMY AWARDS: Stephen Colbert: 11 Donald Trump: Zero

“Earthrise." My favorite photo from the Apollo program, taken on December 24, 1968 - 57 years ago today - by Apollo 8 astronaut Bill Anders during the first crewed orbit of the Moon. A print hangs in my office, oriented as shown here as it's the way Bill Anders saw things when he took the picture.

So I am going to say something about romance as a genre. A lot of people think that romance is ignorable because <insert thing they think about romance> and romance authors don't count because <insert thing they think about romance>. This thread is not about whether you have to like romance.

This is as easy a test of your belief in the American system as is conceivable: Should this be an acceptable argument from a president?

roll a deception check with disadvantage

Ronald Reagan: “We lead the world because, unique among nations, we draw our people, our strength, from every country and every corner of the world, and we continuously renew and enrich our nation.” Jay Nordlinger: “This ‘Heritage American’ business is a scam.” open.substack.com/pub/thenextm...

Whether it's a low-level Biden staffer asking Facebook to correct some COVID misinformation or Donald Trump's right-hand man telling CBS to kill segment about ICE sending people to torture prisons, both sides have sought to limit free expression.

I’m sure there’s a perfectly innocent explanation for a right-wing editor installed by a Trump supporter killing a story that was critical of Trump a few hours before it was supposed to air.

Weiss might want the show's stars to quit so she can replace them with someone like Matt Taibbi or that Free Press lightweight who bragged about reading all of Mamdani's tweets.

The instrument that one would use to measure this level of failure is called a Bariometer

Waiting patiently in line to turn into the drive-thru and a woman pulls up from the other direction, cuts me off when I try to go, and flips me off, yelling “No you don’t, bitch!” After 5 min waiting in line, she pulls out and drives off. She is clearly having a bad day, and *I* am having a burger.

WE ALL KNOW MONEY IS FAKE AND WE ALL KNOW IT’S FAKE IN THE WORST WAYS WHERE IT PROPS UP THE WHIMS AND MACHINATIONS OF THE WORST PEOPLE BUT WE KEEP LETTING IT BE FAKE!!!!!!!!!

““Neo Nazi terror group steps up US operations as FBI pulls back” The FBI has been tasked with pretending ANTIFA is “a thing” and branding Democratic operatives and fundraisers as members of this Bondi fantasy before the midterms.

Rep. Andy Fine is a liar. Rep. Andy Fine is a hypocrite. Rep. Andy Fine is a racist. Rep. Andy Fine is a fascist. Rep. Andy Fine is a traitor. In other words... Rep. Andy Fine is a Republican.

Bari Weiss: Did you kill that piece like I asked? Editor: Yeah boss, right up against the deadline and after a ton of outlets already had access so everyone will want to watch it after you made a big deal about it, just like you asked. Bari Weiss: What?

The legacy media narrative has been unified in claiming that Jeffrey Epstein abused minors. But how can anyone report that without interviewing Jeffrey Epstein? I asked Alan Dershowitz. —Bari Weiss, today in the New York Times

Blocked someone who told me they intended to pirate my work because they can't get it exactly where and how they want. Maybe they will, but they're an asshole to go out of their way to tell a creator that, and I'm not tolerating assholes on this site. It's easy not to be an asshole, y'all.

Hallmark has done every plot, so it is time for the apotheosis of Christmas movies: a big city lawyer returns to her small hometown and falls in love with an actual Christmas tree. After a series of missteps, they get married and have tree/human babies. Their hybrid spawn scream in endless torment 🎄

BBS "chef leaving the kitchen" music plays

I don't know. Maybe it's me, but I would think the media might be alarmed by a President carrying on about how his wife steams her panties.

Shame if this asshole became Internet famous.

American people have had enough of this crap. Republicans REALLY better pay attention. The cover up continues unabated and will continue until some of these criminals with with a license to practice law are held to account. PPS - Pedophile Protection Syndrome at it's worse!

I'd say "fuck Bari Weiss" but I'm afraid Kate McKinnon will pop up out of nowhere and say "3/10, nothing special"

I felt something build in my chest. I pulled the recording of my conversations with ART, the way it said “my crew.”

they've all bought 10,000 shares of baby coffin stock

Submitting a grant you’re not eligible to get

Elon Musk is a pretty good predictor of drug-fueled brain daamage.

Redacted...

Oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd the local aquarium has three new born otters and they CHIRP

I think it should be illegal to name your subdivision after the wildlife you displaced to build mcmansions Bobolink Acres? Not anymore, you assholes, you made sure of that!

This is the worst case scenario that everybody was worried about

A few others also qualify

Schiff: "I think we ought to bring Pam Bondi before the Senate Judiciary Committee demand answers as to why the DOJ has violated the law."

this is a Canadian petition to uphold charter rights for transgender and minority communities if youre Canadian, please sign it. if youre not Canadian, please share it. www.ourcommons.ca/petitions/en...

Pure Concentrated Evil

I keep wanting to say something, and I keep not knowing what to say. The trans community does not harm cis people by existing. They are just trying to live their lives, same as anyone else. That life doesn't look exactly like mine; my life doesn't match anyone else's. That's okay.

Congratulations to everyone who wrote an op-ed about how he just wants americans to eat better

#ResistanceUnited #ProydBlue #ONEV1 #DV1 🗣Midterm: US House AZ06 Primary: Aug. 4 @mendoza4az.bsky.social can flip the battleground district! This Navy veteran, veteran advocate, & policy expert vows to bring accountability to Washington. joannamendoza.com/meet

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles  theonion.com/trump-still-...

CBS is planning a series of ideologically diverse, non-partisan town halls treating questions like "How has feminism failed women?", "Why are liberals so smug?", and "What makes poor people so lazy?"

My kids have measles, I can't afford toys, and the Justice Department is illegally refusing to release all the pictures of the president hanging out with a notorious sex trafficker. But at least now the kids at Oberlin aren't getting trigger warnings.

that’s him officer. that’s the guy who loves snow too much

A photo of David Brooks palling around with Epstein in the latest Epstein files drop three weeks after he wrote a column chiding America for caring about the Epstein story is some serious Rafael Palmeiro shit.