Kage
@kagewithak.bsky.social
📤 69
📥 100
📝 1101
just a lil guy, but getting bigger ... stronger
I was called into HR for "illicit sexual activity in the workplace" and had to introduce them to my personal shoeshiner that works under my desk
2 days ago
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a dumbbell dumbfell on my dumbfoot
15 days ago
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Ive been losing my hearing for the past year that Ive been practicing guitar and I really think Im sounding much better
16 days ago
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Kids these days are too soft. When I was my nephews age (8yo), I could pick my dad up and spin him like a pizza.
16 days ago
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too many parents are like "dont do drugs, dont have sex, dont drink irresponsibly" bro they tryna turn us into fuckin losers
8 months ago
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hey gang we need something bigger than an inch for the imperial metric system does anyone have any ideas that doesn't involve their fucking fetish? jeff: hear me out on this one
9 months ago
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Mob boss: Hey go take care of that guy. Me: Ok I was under the impression that you hated him though, maybe just tell him how you really feel
9 months ago
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im in your pockets, stealing your paperclips
10 months ago
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im not a little guy anymore im big now trust
10 months ago
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reposted by
Kage
Nunz🍵🍃
10 months ago
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Kage
glue
10 months ago
Whenever you get weaker, I grow stronger
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i got no thoughts hi though
10 months ago
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lol my local miniatures shop thinks im a huge dnd nerd but im just picking up a lot of d4s to use as caltrops
10 months ago
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you wouldn't even be able to recognize if Scatman was having a stroke
10 months ago
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sex with me is really gross, wanna see?
10 months ago
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i taught my cat to get me cigarettes but the local stores all ask him for his id now.
10 months ago
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if you dont get it im with u. i dont get anything cuz bad brane
10 months ago
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yall going on about alt text but i want a picture with every text post cuz readings hard
10 months ago
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reposted by
Kage
Twin Dad’s Jingle Balls
10 months ago
Me: *shaking maracas wildly* Interviewer: I meant how do you handle stress at work? Me: *shakes maracas more wildly*
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Kage
James
10 months ago
La Croix: Tap Water
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Kage
Nate
10 months ago
“HEY! ARE YOU INVENTING NEW KINDS OF NOODLES IN THERE?” my father bellows as he bangs against the door. I want to hide my research but there isn’t time. Instead, my fingers grip the handle of the fire poker. Tonight we will learn who the future belongs to. We will learn who owns the family name.
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Kage
Lux Enjoyer
10 months ago
Shampoo for my real friends and real poo for my sham friends.
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Kage
Nappy Dolemite
10 months ago
If you're having trouble thinking of a Valentine's Day gift, just dump them.
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can i have a little butler yet or is that just for the morbidly rich??
10 months ago
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If I was a tree that could talk Id be a real prick to everyone
10 months ago
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every time you go to the bathroom is an opportunity for a 3-pointer
11 months ago
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the first rule of connecting my wifi is you gotta forget everything you know about english, itll only slow you down
11 months ago
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Kage
glue
11 months ago
moaning peacefully
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bro im gonna get soo funny later trust
11 months ago
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cant wait for them to invent a coffee thats not delicious
11 months ago
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spreading misinformation on x so i can come on here and be honest. i pooped
11 months ago
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i aint have anyone interact with my posts for a month can i get some haters or something
11 months ago
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nice
11 months ago
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Kage
Frances Meh
11 months ago
potato potahto tomato tomahto however you say it i’m still gonna fuck it
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i wont sleep with a man for 20$ but i might for a large pizza
11 months ago
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didnt ask but i appreciate your interest and the time you invested in telling me that thing, stupid
11 months ago
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a good sandwich can fix me
11 months ago
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bro what is up with the power of bidets now, used one once and my ass has both a crack AND a hole in it
11 months ago
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Kage
Merry Dankmas
11 months ago
Side hustles aren’t enough, I need front hustles and back hustles too .
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ding ding! i press the desk bell to get your attention. i brought it from home
11 months ago
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"write a skeet"? isnt that that reporter from harry potter??
11 months ago
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Kage
ceej
11 months ago
consuming a little bit of propaganda couldn't hurt
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damn i gotta find a way to post everything ive ever posted each day they're all bangers
11 months ago
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Who the hell invented handshakes yeah i just wanna hold your hand for a bit to feel the vibe
11 months ago
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i miss u
11 months ago
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if i get famous and dont even get rich ill be pissed
11 months ago
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thinking of getting a tattoo of "stoopid" on my forehead
11 months ago
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edward scissorhands but hes evil and jewish (he circumcises the neighborhood)
11 months ago
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