when youre a hammer, everything looks crazy in HammerVision

I truly don’t understand how every single person isn’t talking about what’s in the Epstein files. I don’t understand how it’s not on every news channel, the cover of every paper and website, every single trending topic. I don’t understand.

Just finished the first Dungeon Crawler Carl and my local bookstore (fuck indigo) didn’t have the second so now I gotta wait multiple days for it to arrive after ordering online oh my goddddddd ahhhHHHHHH

🚨

Poll taxes are unconstitutional. Any i.d. that is required to vote has to be provided by the government. This is a way to disenfranchise the poor. Call your senators.

Yeah I was paying attention to the movie. Man… those heights. So wuthering!

2imTiredofThisFormat 2IveRunOutofIdeas

Okay I’m tired of this format and I’ve run out of ideas

2Hobbs 2Shaw

2Hansel 2Gretel

2dungeons 2dragons

2Calvin 2Hobbes

no one has fun any more. everyone is too busy jacking off robots

If your novelty license plate is kid mgnt is that saying you’re a pedophile , you can’t stop having babies, or do you just hit a LOT of children with your vehicle?

2pride 2prejudice

My coworker said Wawa chicken strips are better than ROFO. Can I report him to HR?

The gag is if you really want it I'll get it done for you and I'll show you how to use it every step of the way. Book an hour with me and let's lock in, together 🤝🏽 ruthnineke.co/book

The only thing more powerful than hate is an even bigger hate, in a mechsuit.

Gohan this gohan that, why don’t you gohan me your moms number so I can give her a nice Valentine’s Day.

They’re called pickles because you pick holes and then , you know,

Welp, my angel fire site from 2001 is finally gone. Guess I have to post here first now.

Late night ball posting.

No I did not say suck my balls, there must be some type of misunderstanding. I would never say something like that. I said gargle my nuts.

The balls are the

Only SZA could make “balls deep” sound so majestic

If you ever looked down the barrel of a gun you suddenly realize this could all end at any moment and that yes, you should make that funny post about balls.

I thought Linked In vibes was playing ping pong in your cheeks with CEOs balls.

Whew, apologies to the family. When I said I was trying to “get my dick wet” I was under the assumption that this meant going swimming. Now who’s trying to go 10 balls deep at the bowling alley?

FUPA actually stands for Filled Up with Pee Area and it’s just balls chocked full of hot piss

Pedicure for your balls Testicure Patent Pending

Idk why I didn’t win the softball tournament. My balls were by far the softest there! No one would even challenge me!

“The balls” is more of a state of mind than an actual location.

Serious post: Balls

You know, with all these things being stored in the balls, I’m afraid the balls are starting to be some kind of ‘catch all’. Remember to keep the balls organized. Pee goes on the left.

Call me a dickbag thinking it wil hurt my feelings? Heh Fuck it we balls 🤷🏼‍♂️

You fool, I can do your job better than you can! My proctologist-“sir, I’m gonna need you to calm down”

Do you think they make a Disney themed condom where the Mickey ears go over the balls ?

Most of the important lessons in life I’ve learned from my family making terrible decisions. I think I can do better. I have to become a complete piece of shit, for my daughter.

PUNCH NAZIS

I’m getting in better shape. I’m jumping every Jack I see. Sorry Jack.

What's a couple miles on a car that lasts a lifetime

A public sex camera is all fun and games until you can hear people booing you nearby for wearing socks while fucking.

Respectfully…

Happy Valentine’s Day Bluesky. I got you this flower 🌹

When being a decent human being gets you accused of being a political activist, maybe our politics is fucked

cops are predators they are paid to protect other predators

dick pic is short for dickture picture

it's bhm let that white guilt ride you like a demon send bitch

Actually, it’s spelled hoarse porn. Because your voice goes hoarse from screaming out “No! Not with a horse!”

A harem? Brother, I barely have hair.