gonna differentiate myself from other colorists by giving my custom shades disgusting, evocative names…. salmon sorbet. laura palmer’s lips. gaped grover

🧹🧹🧹

bite that gives me a rabies scare

barely legal olive oil

Guess what guys aka everyone that wanted to buy a print! www.inprnt.com/gallery/pigs...

throat goat

lol they really done fucked it huh?

i think this is the best summary of my approach to life in general

drink a beer for me today

have you ever thought that you had too many teeth

no offense playboy but you strike me as the type that doesn’t know the difference between a bog and a swamp

A friend of mine said that middle school boys are now using "Kirked" as a euphemism for someone badly losing at a game, if that particular bit of linguistic joy hasn't made its way to you yet.

every week some cataclysmic historical event happens and i post "based on my lifetime of scholarship into this specific sort of thing, it's probably this thing it always is when this happens" and people with 87 emojis in their bio try to build a vacation home in my ass before i'm proven right

folky polyamorous southerners be like: not my pig, yes my farm

actually they tried to hang the sword of damocles over me first but took it down when I got sloshed and started doing sangaku stunts with it

am i gonna get retroactively banned for posting “i’m the air bud of drunk driving” now

attn: chicago oomfs if you want to go to riot fest but don’t have a ticket shoot me a dm. i have a connect, single use first come, first served

attn: chicago oomfs if you want to go to riot fest but don’t have a ticket shoot me a dm. i have a connect, single use first come, first served

"what if we turned the pedophile diss track into a company song and had our white ceo rap it?" klarna on the street yo

Birdsky is out for blood

My wife is sad because the dolphin on the Dolphins helmet no longer has a little helmet.

If you're 35-40 and your main circle isn't frequently discussing: ~ Regional transit fare structures ~ The Vienna model of social housing ~ Which of your shitposter friends you will nominate to a committee of public safety on The Day Then it's time to elevate your circle

"you know, old people music, like fall out boy or smashing pumpkins"

There are two kinds of Gen X men: those who heard Pinkerton and learned that, just bc you are a nerd doesn't mean you can't be a bad person, and those who learned the opposite.

This entire administration operates like the “Mac Day” episode of it’s always sunny in Philadelphia man, this shit sucks

“say there, bud. what set you rep, eh?”

[presenting a 16 year old in 2012 with the blue album and blunderbuss] which way western man

excuse you, some of us became women

[through tears] weezer? i hardly *sobs* know er

an entire generation of men experienced irreparable damage by being exposed to weezer during their formative years

the way you know they fucked this up is that yesterday a lot of people were still talking about how the left’s rhetoric needs to cool down because it’s driving political violence and this morning everyone is talking about the government censoring free speech

post this shit all you want man they’re not gonna spare you either

some of them are starting a pivot towards hoping to have careers after this all settles what a time

by karl rove am i being pranked here

If the Jimmy is Kimmel, good for jimmel If the Jimmy is Fallon, go straight to jallon

not now, jeff

so many venmo records bout to get pulled lol

is it bad i’m just now realizing fallon and kimmel are two different people

if Conan was still on the air, i like to think he'd have gotten fired for a sketch where Charlie Kirk is killed by Ginger the Dog

it is nice for my old boss at Hard Drive to put in writing that he loves Elon Musk and was uninvolved in us wrecking him on twitter lol

This is because most consoles have what is called a "Usable State Buffer for Command Performance". Gearbox has been advocating for larger buffers for years. If you want learn more you can Google "Randy Pitchford USB CP".

would love some more sales this week :3 pls share and tell all ur friends there’s a cute elf with a new plant shop in town

mfer is literally named "rob tombs", did they summon the spirit of the british museum into an op ed writer

there’s a minuscule chance we cross the threshold where a gram of coke is cheaper than a pack of cigs if we hit it we’re in for a wild time