Jonathan Gullis was my sister’s schoolteacher and used to lie to teenage schoolgirls that he went to the Uni of Oxford instead of Oxford Brookes…

i have got a fancy advent calendar for the very first time and day 1 is perfume. my sense of smell hasn't fully returned after my cold, so while what I can smell of it is nice, I can't be fully sure

found out where yer da lives

my wife attempted to 'pinch, punch first of the month' me this morning but she married a Gamer and I was easily able to frame perfect parry that shit and punish with a L3 Shin Shoryuken

My absolute fav. The caption, the pose. The setting. Cliff, shit, just remembered we need one more picture for the calendar. Fuck it just grab the Custard Creams and riff with it.

The Munsters poses the chilling question, what if your parents were a vampire and a Frankenstein? The Addams Family poses the chilling question, what if your parents were openly sexual?

found a cape in the charity shop

Dismal framing. Every aspect of most asylum seekers’ lives is controlled & paid for by the Home Office. They can’t work, are told where to live & have no autonomy or dignity. So they aren’t *choosing* to use taxis & don’t need to be “banned” from doing so. The HO just needs to get its act in order.

as always, transphobia consumes your entire personality until there is nothing left but deeply offputting garbage

what I find so interesting about AI meeting tools is that companies don't seem to mind meetings with sometimes sensitive company data just being recorded by random startups

Just saw this American bite into a chocolate orange like a fucking apple and threw my phone into a well.

POV you are Helen Staniland

CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."

tell your mom i said what’s up

Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself

do you guys remember on early twitter before they had a retweet button when you would copy someone’s whole tweet and just manually write “RT @cumcrisis WATCH OUT IM SHIFTING INTO FUCK MODE” it’s insane anyone put up with that

"A French Fry Restaurant"

Right, doing the saying it out loud so it might actually happen thing. Valley Guitar Repairs is coming soon. Guitars, basses, pedals, maybe amps if I know what I'm looking at. From a new jack to a full setup, I'll be doing it all. DMs open, I'll set a dedicated account up soon Please share x 🎸

The best thing about having a cat is when he’ll walk in the room carrying a slice of ham but you don’t have any ham in the house. Where’d you get the ham little guy?

thinking about posting something contrarian for clicks

lads I am ill. caught a cold off my husband. this is on top of the back thing that happened last week

I see we're in for another round of "actually the Europeans are the most racist" from our American posters today

maybe i am going insane

Here’s my take: Star Wars is for nerds but is at least fun Star Trek is for insufferable nerds who love the pop culture dialogue scenes from Tarantino movies

sean bean pronounced shaun bhaun

I heard there was a mighty fish With solitude its fervent wish When hungry, their demeanour's even ruder They're known to bite their prey in two They'd even have a go at you The silver and the salty Barracuda

i love watching a film and then searching it on Reddit to see what nerds with limited social skills and no sense of humour think of it

tragic men need to do a bit less asking "grok" to do an epic roast of their friends, and a bit more "cook"(ing) an epic roast for their friends

i’ve been sort of peripherally aware of enoch burke for a while but it was only seeing this article that i saw how absolutely batshit insane his whole family is, leading me to discover this incredible paragraph on his family’s wikipedia page

This colonial horror is happening now in Denmark.

Felching Felching Bobby's felching RFK Jr sucks The cream from a brown ring

rfk jr getting the CDC to add a page recommending felching

im sorry, but no, leave the crisp sandwich out of this

me and my husband are both very low energy at the moment, as I fell down the stairs and he got a cold, so neither of us can look after the other properly

judging inflation by the cost of a junior spesh

london chicken shop culture is best represented by the name Ferfect Fried Chicken

love this new 'severed hand' print from @sonnyross.bsky.social it's chilling in my coloured deity area for the mo until I've painted my living room

arguing with me about family immigration rules? in THIS economy?

laughing again because during a quiz there was a question about a famous pirate and I said to my friend just name any pirate and he panicked and said long bon jovi

When I arrive at the party

goth snooker

she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October

all the little "well we have to be racist otherwise reform will be more racist" labour accounts can chug my piss quite frankly

see that shelly "retired American but supposedly born in England and looking at houses in England but England doesn't want more immigrants" has deleted their profile

This idea that #metoo was a temporary piece of insanity that happened because America was too woke... Fuck you. It was a temporary moment in time when people decided, for the first time, that 20 women were finally equal to one man.

there's so much to take in here

bill clinton is like the forrest gump of getting his dick sucked