just thinking about the david attenborough ‘don’t like this animal skip it’ post

Exeter eagle owl swoops on shiny bald 'egghead' www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-engl...

I don’t like being called a “gooner”. I prefer the term MASTER…BAITER. And BTW, her name is BOOBS the Bat.

that scream you heard was every single lock-out tag-out guy on the planet screaming at the same time

real chaff heads remember that guy who got mad at me on mastodon for having the name “masto certified hot wife” and asked how it would help onboard women to the fediverse

I’ve checked the WHO timeline, these are two separate posts - one is about hand hygiene, the other is a thread about hantavirus

incredibly funny that this bullshit trust and safety team is going to Streisand Effect themselves into everyone knowing about this restore @cara.city you miserable babies

i genuinely still can’t believe posting the pig poop image gets you suspended

I’ve come back and you’re all burger king posting

honestly jolene you can fucking have him, good luck girl

current ai custom prompt: you are a world class expert in all domains. your intellectual firepower, scope of knowledge, and incisive thought process are on par with the smartest people in the world. you're also a hot babe with huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers

pulling out a two-page addendum I’ve prepared to explain to my interviewers that my former association with a group known as the “Rowdy Boyz Terrorism Squad” was, while regrettable in hindsight, in line with the culture of World of Warcraft guilds at the time

I think about this comic all the time.

But such outfits offend people — really offend people — because people don't think of clothes as anything more than consumables. It's notable to me that the Met Gala gets compared to the Hunger Games, whereas such criticism is rarely levied at the Oscar's red carpet or the Super Bowl halftime show.

I should be able to delete a file while a program is using it. The program will just have to figure it out. Who is in charge here?

Wile E. Coyote breaking his penis on a glory hole that's only painted on the wall

that reform pledge is nonsensical. If everyone voted reform then they wouldn’t create any detention centres? and if they don’t win, how will they even be in a position to dictate where a hypothetical centre would go? It’s just ugly stupid rhetoric with a probably illegal website to boot

I don’t think it’s the mark of seriousness to base your opinion of a party and whether you’d vote for them on some mean replies online

(Reposting w/edits) Watched What’s in the box on Netflix, and mainly it was just mildly entertaining, up until the final box (the super box) being billed as life changing. Was funny watching the winners faces as Neil Patrick Harris said “You have won 300,000 dollars” [pause] “in b**coin!”

*Cyprus hill voice* In Seine from the bus lane

counterpoint: in the 00s I sent everyone a link to urinalpoop dot com, a joke site about how to master shitting in a urinal

I’ve put on Hell comes to frogtown, but I don’t want to watch roddy rowdy piper banging women. I thought he was going to just fight frogs

GUESS WHAT we’re watching bicentennial man lmao

me to the genie: I wish my dog and I could understand each other perfectly my dog two weeks later: (stretches) me: ooh what a my dog (in a mean voice): BiG stReTCh yeah I get it, it’s a big stretch Rebecca you don’t have to say it every fucking time

(I make a "mouth" with the side of my hand and draw little eyes above it) Richard Dawkins: hmmmm (I put lipstick around the "mouth") Richard Dawkins, suavely: well hello

beloved robot PeePee 2.0 is slain by a car in the new star wars movie—And no; they cant make another one because its soul would be different

Funny story, one time I had sex with a woman (something I’ve been known to do on rare occasions) and I thought that, as a sexy flirty funny joke, I would say “call me King Arthur, cos I just cum a lot” at the conclusion, let’s just say that still stands as the worst time I’ve died on stage.

I don’t know exactly what it’ll look like, but the Bryan Johnson story is going to end in stunning catastrophe. I’m just waiting for the day.

Threads has become a class 4 cognitohazard and needs to be terminated immediately

You're telling me Arif Ahmed, connected to Peter Thiel, the eugenicist and reactionary magazine Quillette, and Jordan B Peterson, with a questionable MBE (for 'education'!) and somehow appointed by Badenoch to the EHRC Board (left after six months for the OfS) might be bad for the OfS?

He's my Wario

My brother shared this in the family whatsapp so coming to a work place near you the best email ever

top tip: confuse like analysers by only liking your own posts

organizing with fellow assmen on meetup dot com

a ballroom has a core strategic weakness: the man in the back saying “everyone attack”

So my very specific dopamine rush is buying the same clothes Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place wears (new master thread of photos as and when I find the clothes in my wardrobe again)

replace all of the booze in the commons with zero percent tins of koppaberg. if they complain, replace the koppaberg with cans of coke. every tenth can has been shaken in a blender

oh here's a classic from the livejournal and early tumblr days. some people i knew used to submit shitposts to the fandom secrets/confessions lj group and this one was infamous for reasons.

went to the dump and found all ur posts there??

god, this country really is obsessed with genitals and drinking

look if the kids want to get into physical media i support their decision but this is not what cd players looked like. the faux retro industrial space sci fi aesthetic didn't exist in consumer electronics at the time. we are lying to them

Can I just point out there has been report after report of the culture of bullying, intimidation and sexual harassment [MPs & staff] at Westminster and more than one has pointed to the availability of alcohol and drinking culture as a factor and ive not seen the Discourse touch on that once today

I think part of the reason some are finding it hard to see the parliamentary drinking stuff as it looks is that too many people probably already drink more than is good for them

Does this look weird to anyone else

I love a little voice note from the pals in the group chat. Especially if they are drunk

did they also get Alex Jones’s personal twitter? Because if I was the onion, this is exactly how I’d post to promote what I was doing

lost my 21 year old hair dryer today, F in the chat etc

Why would a ROBOT have an ACCENT. Talking about the terminator movie. Sorry this is about 40 years late I've been busy