Pitcher got hit right in his buttcheek: Me: “It could’ve been worse, I guess. It could’ve been…” Me: “…his hip.” My husband: “… his butthole.”

Courtney Williams has been COOKING this series. She looks terrific. Great decision making. Efficient scoring. Lovely facilitation and pace.

I hadn’t seen this, so thought I’d share!

FROM SHAMS: Free agent guard Monte Morris has agreed to a one-year deal with the Indiana Pacers, Andy Shiffman and Mark Bartelstein of @PrioritySports tell ESPN. Entering his ninth NBA season, Morris provides backcourt depth to the Pacers. https://t.co/eus9ogPcM4

Appears the Do Better Denver X account is gone My favorite DBD lie was that my mother is OJ prosecutor Marcia Clark (my mom is a music teacher/church choir director) My least fav DBD lie was that the state was covering up TdA's involvement in a trooper's shooting (not TdA, perp was US citizen)

Happy NBA Media Day to those who celebrate

Oh and one of those sisters that beat him every single day? BFFs with WNBA MVP Runner-Up Napheesa Collier! But sure, namedrop fellow MAGA trash Sophie.

Gonna take a lil nap and hope I wake up post-rapture. 🤞🏻

When my wife asks what I'm in the mood to order for dinner on Friday night.

I cannot wait to boo this man

7:30 am is waaay too early to see a cybertruck.

Jordan Poole on reuniting with Kevon Looney "I haven't had a good screen in two years"

Just heard a Travis Scott song and I am 1000% convinced I can sound just as good as him, if not better, with autotune.

Love her

Starting to think a lot of pro athletes would love the song/dance part of Banana Ball in their own sport… And I am totally here for it.

The “turning into their parents” commercials have officially run out of relevant things. I don’t know anyone who talks to strangers while getting gas.

I interrupt all the misery in this world for 90 seconds on whether chili is soup.

Out here calling everyone unc 😳

Our neighbors that had their Bills flag out last year now have a Vikings flag out…

Unrivaled player reveals for Season 2 are happening. The first player announced? Alyssa Thomas.

Hoping I wake up to a montage of Harrison Butker’s horrible night 🤞🏻

I never forget my sunglasses at places but for some reason this month I have forgotten them 3 times.

Well looks like the broncos didn’t do too well based on everyone’s mood here

Final: Lynx 82, Mercury 69 Lynx outscore the Merc 42-22 in the 2nd half to turn this one into a no-doubter. Masha Kliundikova came off the bench in the 4th and proceeded to get a hand on every ball. Absolute x-factor in this one. Courtney led all scorers w/ 23 and added 8 reb, 7 ast, 5 stl

Go Lynx 😏

Disney, abc, Nexstar, Sinclair are all included in boycott guide update: open.substack.com/pub/psychope...

Have I ever mentioned the time I was working in retail and a lady yelled at me for saying “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome”?

Dot’s original seasoned pretzels? 1️⃣ Yay 2️⃣ Nay 3️⃣ Never tried them 📊 Show results

30 days until the 2025-2026 NBA season starts

Give me pre-coke Henry Hill all day plz

Phee should've been MVP, IMO. But okay

Nooooooooooooo 😢

Some asshole got in the elevator watching a video at full volume so I started playing music full volume.

Dang, that's crazy. Anyway, we moved our annual refugee resettlement fundraiser to Bluesky this spring, after running it entirely on Twitter for over a decade, started with ZERO followers, took our "shrunken" audiences and beat last year's total by $200,000 in a time of massive economic upheaval

I text my straight edge sister when I need to know if an idea is too high or not.

i hate when people on jeopardy only use someone’s last name for their answer

Do you think airports were less hectic when people had to dress up and you could smoke and get a meal on the flight?

I had 63 tabs open in Wikipedia and scrolling through them was quite a roller coaster of topics.

THIS IS IMPORTANT Louisville gave Pudge his own locker for game day 😭😭😭

Jinkx Monsoon was asked what she’d do on her last day on earth and she said “I’d relapse” and giiiirrrl yes please.

Hot Ones collab with popeyes means it’s officially jumped the shark, right?

3 things you will never catch me doing for fun: -being scared, like really frightened -watching/listening to people yell at each other -jumping from a crazy height, or a plane

taco’s

Ok Rockies!

Dramatic Poetry, by Pierre Puvis de Chavannes, 1896, 📸 by @MauleIan

Terrible idea. Cats are natural predators and will hunt rabbits.

Ok but like for real, what are we calling Coach Adelman?

Boutta catch these hands