*about to put a spider that lived its whole life in my house outside* aww it will be so much happier than in here ☺️

What if we razed every Data Center to the ground and salted the earth where they stood

nobody told me so much of adult life is going to be about managing the battery levels of your different devices 😭😭😭😭😭

🚨🚨🚨PFT ON THE POD AND A FREE VIDEO EPISODE🚨🚨🚨 chuffed to bits to have the absolute legend himself on the show youtu.be/d7pk0HH7Jss?...

I let the dogs out

I just heard some terrible news. Jay Leno finally had to touch his Tonight Show money. Please keep him in your thoughts 🙏

when your pee smells like the espresso you drank an hour ago >>>>>>

To me, 69 is the ultimate sex position because both participants are receiving pleasure, and what's more is that pleasure is given orally, which is objectively the best kind. But to you? It's just a "funny sex number". Grow up.

man i'm actually glad my friend stefan took down this bastards app

I bet English people call their father something CRAZY. probably Mister Parent

I will go on the record as saying the Halloween episode of THE OUTFIT with special guest @jessefarrar.com is not only the most Shrek-centric discussion of The Sopranos to ever be aired, but arguably shows up @yourkickstartersucks.com in a rousing round of "REAL OR FAKE?" youtu.be/SAZYeHREdBg?...

I bet English people call their father something CRAZY. probably Mister Parent

On March 22nd, 2023, Joseph Hernandez - better known as Joey from “Joey’s World Tour” - announced that he would soon be releasing his most important food review video yet: a mysterious item known only as “The Colossus.” It is now February 23rd, 2024, and Joey has not yet released the Colossus video.

🎶 You say BJ I say blowjay You say give brain I say get dome Sloppy, toppy Slurpin, salami Let’s suck each other off

when the poop comes OUT of the butt >>>>>

It’s essentially an emergency that you see One Battle After Another in the cinema immediately. Sean Penn will win an Oscar & it has the best car chase in many years. And those aren’t in the top 3 best things about the film. Jesus shitting Christ.

humpday is when I sex

thinking about short word story again

I would hate to wear "dumb" glasses and feel like a LOSER!

this guy we started watching on the GOK streams is the funniest fuckin guy I've ever seen in my life. (starts house on fire with four-foot jet of fire) "hoo shit, man you all see that?"

[unable to find any answers on google after listening to yet another of my favorite podcasts] what the FUCK is the goo crew????

If you don't put who the hosts of a podcast are at least in the description then I'm going to assume it's an AI show and not listen to it, even if it's been going for 7 years

Repost this if you think he was talking about What's All This Then

BREAKING: This week marks 5 years of RNC. To celebrate the end of another successful vinyl campaign, I’m playing the entire Songs on the Computer saga live on my new Twitch channel tomorrow night.

here is the post! i love sixteenth minute and am so proud of what we did. up next: my next book is finished, the special i filmed late last year is nearing the finish line, and i want to focus on writing and directing narrative stuff for the next chunk. Bechdel Cast and We the Unhoused continue!

I am dreaming of the day I have a car that goes from 0 to 60 in under a second. Maybe that will fix things

MY SPECIAL IS LIVE PLEASE WATCH I’M VERY PROUD OF IT youtu.be/g9NT46SGqFY?...

god I love it when there is a whacky setup that pretty much guarantees hilarity, and then... hilarity ensues

Look, I would never support Elon financially, but I just had to eat at the Tesla Diner every day in the past month *as a joke*

New favorite youtube channel

@maxhjc.bsky.social u like what u see ?

Twitter (Currently X)

this is so good. I play @pftompkins.bsky.social's body, "Creature" in this demented gameshow: youtu.be/5VI7qgpQmws at 1:18 in, you can see a shot of my face that I did not think would be visible in this particular setup

"For sale, never worn shoes" - baby

big mistake

My life felt pretty empty in the past few years, but I finally have have a goal worth fighting for: winning the lottery

ENDS: The Vinyl Campaign is LIVE

Cheers!

I didn't have a 2025 bingo card

He was horny, she was horny, can I make it any more obvious?

amazing news: my podcast now has VIDEO??? watch the first one for free now and sign up for the Watch All This Then tier on the patreon to get TWO video episodes every damn week www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSkJ...

guy who writes ahh instead of ass for religious reasons

GTA taught me that its fun to run down a fire hydrant with your car

People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now. - the Pope on his deathbed

frozen pizza >>>>>>> food Change my mind.

Powerfully introspective and meaningfully meta. #NewBio

I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad