i need to get rid of all my stuff.

you *do* taste the carrot in the horse energy drink but it’s very subtle. like all flavors of zone (except perhaps “utopia”) it mostly tastes like sugar and a misconception of some kind

this is what trying to navigate my world is like

in honor of the upcoming start of pride month, my employer has removed all lgbt-related pages from the corporate intranet, replacing them with a page titled “AI Recognition Pride!” that encourages you to congratulate the teammate who uses claude the most

the Wretched Feast is about to begin…

dan aykroyd presents himself as a fearless truth-seeker but consistently misrepresents clear evidence of stand battles & other stand user activity as the results of ghosts or aliens, which aren't real, unlike stands

Today in Jeremy's salad: collard greens, wine cups, hibiscus, squash blossom, pansy, and grapes

considering breaking my own fingers to prevent myself from further sadposting

might have absentmindedly had over 600mg of caffeine today. i’m incredibly powerful now but not in any useful or controllable way

many such cases

what i said: “i should have time to work on a fix today” what zoom’s automatic closed captioning wrote: “i should have time to work on a dick today” my coworker who was clearly reading the subs: :-o

things my teammates call me: mary, maria, mario,

I enjoy when video game mechanics fuck up in ways that offer insight into the particulars of their implementation. Like, my aerial controls just went screwy because somewhere below me there's a section of icy floor? Fascinating – let's see what other deranged implementation details I can puzzle out.

just woke up from a dream about toronto. dream toronto was colonized by finnish pirates. their skeletons were mounted all through the city and everyone had to work their jobs next to them. if you died on a job your skeleton also got mounted for your successor to work next to

soup

objectively it would cause more benefit than harm if my silver cord were severed

not quite any bingos. maybe a yahtzee?

i’m a very confused being

how do i chloroform my wretched internal monologue, or, better yet, become a p-zombie. these qualia, they’ve been on the floor, they’re covered in dust and hair and not very appetizing

i’d love to sleep before 4am but apparently i need to be sad and deranged instead

i'm stupid and sad and hopeless and worthless beyond that which i think can ever be ameliorated. i turn toward the demiurge and mouth out first "why", then "what can i do", but no sound emerges

YOU - “I don't understand. Ruby's a woman, right?” KLAASJE - “Yes.” YOU - “But…you're *also* a woman.” KIM KITSURAGI - “Women like women too, officer. Try not to fixate on this.” PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Well, I'll be damned! That's one more thing we know about the world!

lighting a candle for all trans people to live fucking long lives and get old as fuck and happy and comfortable and satisfied

this is what happened to me basically

i must make my internet presence either more normal or more depraved

Remember: we were never given credit for being right about crypto, we were never given credit for being right about NFTs, we were never given credit for being right about the metaverse and we will never be given credit for being right about AI. Fuck 'em up anyway.

google photos helpfully reminding me that my egg crack anniversary (apparently this day in 2022) was accompanied by going full britney and shaving my head in a motel room

CG has largely put a stop to actors in horror movies holding puppets up to their own faces screaming "aaaaahh get it off get it off" and I think that's too bad

remembered this licensed Popeye shirt i saw once

why did i decide to shave my legs before work today. like. i’m not especially leggy but i *am* 6’1” and have a carpet-like pelt. that’s a lot of surface area to cover

i still don’t really understand how to use dry shampoo

BRB gonna invent "Amish 2" where its rejecting any technology invented after 2020

genuinely how its been lately

now that i have long hair i understand why the vast majority of the women i’ve dated have, one some occasion or another, been dissatisfied by the frustration of owning and maintaining and living with it and have threatened to “shave it all off and be bald”

video games are about taking turns and selecting options from a menu

combination phone case / iqos. i think i’m on to something here

very few things are quite as humbling as porting a game you wrote damn near 20 years ago to a modern language / runtime and encountering your own bad code

each day i awaken freshly determined to not be subsumed fully by The Miasma on this day, and am then subsumed fully by The Miasma

many such cases

saw a logo for a dental clinic that was a tooth with a bite taken out of it like the apple logo and i’m still really confused

Peanuts by Schulz: Monday, September 6, 1999

i saw a dead rat on the sidewalk and i thought to give him a little shroud and some flowers if i weren’t so mildly afraid of infectious disease

he’s having a munch

i don’t know how to explain this, but i think certain types of fire would taste better than others

Peanuts by Schulz: Wednesday, April 18, 1984

i think everyone i know, myself included, is simultaneously having a complete mental breakdown. we could have scheduled these better

i dunno what to tell you there, hoss. your KPIs blaspheme the human spirit