Watching Welcome to Derry, and I repeat, for the record: a statistically significant percentage of Stephen King's classic novels are superhero stories. - Carrie: Marvel Girl. - Danny Torrance, Dick Hallorann, Johnny Smith: Professor X. - Charlie McGee: Phoenix - Arnie Cunningham: Ghost Rider

Every time an episode of Fallout cuts to a spot break fade, I am disgusted, because it reminds that it is because Amazon Prime now has spot breaks. Unless you pay them extra. Or, you know, pirate Amazon's shit. For nothing.

Congrats! Who's the father?

Hi we're abstaining because it sucks ass, hope that helps

In a best case scenario, it should always have been "Domestic Security."

"I hate the fuckin' Red Hot Chili Peppers, man!" - The Gen X Dude

[Sitting around cozy, looking at a journal article on my phone, just thinkin bout stuff] Popup notification: *Bill Hicks mocking voice* ooooo 🙄 looks like we've got ourselves a READER

After bargaining for shit tickets like a Soviet prole during the pandemic, fuck you, it's worth the risk.

You have to block them immediately. The full nuclear. They are only here to make folks angry, and that can’t happen if we lock them out.

I didn't want to be a bother, but if someone could please get me a deck of Marlboros before I freak out or do a murder, I'd sure appreciate it.

Lotta people sharing CBS today like it's a reliable news source

the question to ask about this is, okay, he wants to cancel the midterms. how does he get the VA state board of elections to cancel the midterms? how does he get the georgia board of elections to do it? how does he convince republican house members to quit their jobs and give up their paychecks?

Cyanide teeth need to be made stronger. Retweet if you agree.

Just a reminder that there are a ton of lovely, fantastic cartoonists out there working today who are in no way awful.

mood

Airborne Putrid Event

"Pimp." From the credits to The Taking of Pelham 123 on the Saturday afternoon movie on WXXA in Albany, before they became a Fox / Clear Channel drone.

I can't believe J.D. Vance went on TV and said "Ich bin Evil! Ich bin Evil!!! Ich bin der Evil kleine Chocolate Boy!!" with chocolate smeared all over his mouth and lederhosen. But he did. And we all saw it

Only good news today.

V for Vendetta.

The energy I’m bringing into the new year

Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.

I wish you all courage in the new year. Courage above all else. And revenge.

This was a good year. All I had to do was turn off the Internet.

happy nye @effinbirds.com

So what I’m reading here is that it costs at least $150 for me to get the kind of experience I would enjoy

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or Alice in Chains.

You're Goddamned right.

@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.

my people

Malört

There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die

"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."

And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,

Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.

I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom

Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor

i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War

EOY Mood, via @effinbirds.com.

🗡️

If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?

Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.

I am literally, as I am writing this, blowing away a perfectly good Windows 11 install on a laptop in favor of Linux Mint to avoid any of that that AI shit.

I receive a tremendous amount of joy from following the adventures of the #Plundercats.

Weird to remember that I used to get into literal screaming matches with my college roommates over whose turn it was to buy the milk when now, 30 years later, I only buy milk to make White Russians, which is only when I'm watching Lebowski, which isn't often.