I sense a Nuzzi redemption arc wherein she leverages her mesmerizing nethers and/or canyon(s) to suppress MAHA, saving thousands of lives.

I want to read a modern retelling of A Christmas Carol where Laurie Kilmartin and George Carlin haunt the fuck out of Elon.

Your daily reminder that federal government and all our universities are all leaning heavily into this broken, corrupt technological bubble, and they're gonna take us all over the cliff.

If the President can impose his own taxes and use the proceeds to spend on his own projects, all without Congress, we have a dictatorship not a constitutional republic.

With the news of the repugnant Operation Charlotte's Web, I can't wait for Homeland Security to release their next programs, Operation Goodnight Moon (defunding NASA), Operation Green Eggs and Ham (defunding the FDA) and Operation Busytown (the worm in RFKJr's brain stages a coup against Mamdani)

Fox News: "Fuck them infants and toddlers!"

Fellas, is it gay to Crank it to Hank?

Trump just doing vibe-reigning, huh?

Learned a beautiful new word today: catch-fart www.oed.com/dictionary/c...

sexually transmitted brainworms

Anyone claiming more than the standard deduction on their personal U.S. taxes gets drug tested. If they fail (cannabis doesn't count), that money goes to drug treatment & homeless housing. Corporations claiming more than the most basic tax deductions get their executives and directors drug tested.

Russia, if you're listening, the president said you don't have the balls to release anything about him because you need him and he said you are dumb and smelly and your momma dresses you funny. *That should do it.

The truth always comes out eventually.

No notes….nailed it 🎯

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish

pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.

We need this to penetrate public consciousness. Sooner or later they come hat in hand to govt. They will tell SNAP recipients to “get a job.” To billionaires peddling an idea no one needs, they open the coffers filled with our tax dollars.

This dude really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really doesn't want that Epstein vote, huh?

This is really impressive. They invented racism.

Remember Charlie Kirk? Me neither.

time to step away from the starbucks drinks, y’all. do not cross the picket line. unions are how we fight back. corporate monopolies are heavily consolidated right now. it’s a large part of why prices are high and wages are low.

Imagine having a kid in this daycare who watches as their teacher is bodily dragged away by masked goons.

It wouldn't work. Too many people would complain about not being able to write-in their ex or in-law.

They are cracking. They know that the Trump regime will forever be a drag on their scabby asses. www.wired.com/story/nancy-...

From my Larchives

"some people abuse SNAP." Motherfucker, oil companies break the law all the time but you don't give a shit about that. Given the choice, I say let SNAP exist (even given the microscopic amount of cheaters) and save money with the oil subsidies.

Get a load of this slob.

They really are going to crash food production, aren't they? They think that food riots will justify their declaration of martial law, didn't they?

Quite an unfortunate place to drift off into an ellipsis.

So they didn’t like the ad. Let’s just post Reagan’s 5 min speech against tariffs as it appears on YouTube. Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X). *1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.” youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc

C'mon. What we need is a portal that immediately sends them to their earned judgement before some merciless elder god.

It's going to be so amazing being alive in 2026 because the front page will say "BREAKING Mamdani Received Free Cheese Pizza From a Local Vendor, Calls to Resign Mount" and then on page 3 you'll see "Hegseth's Pentagon Rape Dungeon Raises Legal Questions."

Guarantee some geologist has been hired to do a Mount Rushmore additional head feasibility study.

Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.

This is what ChatGPT reminds me of

Should I get this tattoo covered up?

you have to be a certain age but it’s uncanny

ICE needs guided missle warheads? Best case (which is still terrible) is that taxpayers bought these only for them to get "misplaced" and end up on the international black market.

Need to find a foundry to make brass urinals of his head. If I start stockpiling them now, I'll be a multimillionaire within two weeks of his death.

Thanks, Republicans.

*pushes glasses toward face* Ackshewly, so much diarrhea dropped that he must have defecated into a pit toilet and had the contents transferred to that fighter jet. The volume delivered suggests that it took years to accumulate and that he had assistance.

Did he save up his poop for the plane, or did he have to buy lots of poop?

Every Republican on the Sunday shows should be forced to watch the Air Feces One video and then be asked, “Is the President sane?”

Every parade has the right to exist

More like "Opus nighty-night," amirite

No shit, US officials.

We are marks and chumps honestly. Little girls and grandmothers were in the streets of Cairo for weeks over less than this, and at greater peril to their own safety.

BIG BOAT STUCK

there’s exactly one person whose behavior you can control during a protest and that’s you baby