My insurance premium is going from $350 a month to $600 a month in 2026. I’m just so happy we made America Great Again. 🙄

I’m live, playing Outer Wilds for a bit! ☺️💛 Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Thursday evening hangs over on my twitch page! Herding some sheep and exploring space. Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Depressed!!! 🌼💕✨🫧

I have a bad migraine but I still feel like streaming, so we’re doing a stfu stream And I guess I’ll try not to talk?? Idk we’ll see how this goes. Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Thank you for one million subscribers on Twitch!!! Can’t believe we did it y’all.

What do y’all do when a big wave of grief comes? What are your go-to’s in self-soothing and sitting with these incredibly difficult feelings?

Eyeball hurt

I’m in Texas for the next week, so no streams until I’m back! BUT, I will be uploading videos of my first Outer Wilds playthrough to YouTube while I’m gone. Here’s Part One ::) youtu.be/k165m0yXVww?...

Are we surprised? Absolutely NOT hahaha I missed a couple of Morb days tho static-cdn.jtvnw.net/recap-sharea... #TwitchRecap @struggle4.bsky.social @vio.bsky.social @chillbobagginz.bsky.social

The “cute” candid photos my bf takes of me

Today someone randomly brought up a memory about my brother. The memory was so lovely, but reminiscing on it felt painful. The warmth of the memory, quickly followed by the sad reminder we can’t make more. It’s just unfair.

“I wonder what Cheebs has been up to lately?” horse.

continuing my first outer wilds playthrough today! Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Therapist: “So, how did you spend your Thanksgiving?” Me:

🐴🌼 ANNOUNCEMENT 🌼🐴 Starting tomorrow, I’m kicking off Horsember! I’m too sad to get in the holiday spirit this year, so instead of Christmas, HORSES!

New YouTube video is live! An early winter solo hike. 🤍 youtu.be/E3GT6LQFoy8?...

late night stream. checking out outerwilds for the first time. 💛 Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Good morning, sunshine ☀️

an apprehensive ‘ hello’ to winter. time moving forward feels heavy, and I’ve dreaded the first snow. but on my first solo adventure in months, falling, sliding, freezing, laughing, I was reminded of my first hike in CO with Josh. today felt like gently inviting winter back in.

Twitch is running a sitewide 35% Shared Discount on 5+ Gifted Subs from November 26 to December 1st. This is a Shared Discount. The discount is shared between Twitch and the creator. Creators can opt out of offering the discount.

Finishing Dispatch today! Twitch.tv/Cheebs

It’s not much to be proud of, but I made breakfast for myself for the first time in nearly three months. I’ve either been skipping it entirely or heading to a cafe. A win is a win in grief.

Sunday moodboard 💕😌✨

Guess who cried in bed all day

Fellas, is it gay to Crank it to Hank?

This morning the grief is so heavy. Grief often feels inconvenient. I want to work, socialize, do anything but lay in bed and cry. But grief demands to be felt. Please share something that made your heart smile recently

Thank you SO much for being patient with me during this time. Some days I can easily stream for 5 hours and have a wonderful time. Some days even just 1 hour feels like a slog. Regardless, y’all are there. Thank you. 💛

I’m live on Twitch! Having a tender day, so join for some gentle, low-key vibes. Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Everyone on this app is so nice to me, I’m just laying in bed crying at all of your beautiful words. 🥺

I know I talk about grief a lot, sorry not sorry. I often feel like I’m being dramatic about how depleted my energy is right now. I’m imposing so much judgment of how often I need naps, or need to adjust my plans for the day, or can’t get as much done on my to-do list.

I am now entering the phase of grief where I feel overwhelmed by people calling me. So I don’t answer, and the idea of calling them back gets so built-up in my head, that I just can’t bring myself to do it. My social tank is empty, but I know it’s good for me to keep people close right now.

I love bed so much

goooood morning! grab your coffee and join me for a morning science-deep dive. we’re learning about the science of 👻 ghosts 👻 today! Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Saturday streamin’ Doing a sponsored segment with Sonic Rumble (#ad), and then having a chill evening. Come over here with ya bad self. Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Tonight’s stream was absolutely absurd. I just can’t seem to find the words for the kindness y’all have given to me over the past few months. My heart is ow. I’m so grateful. Thank you.

No because why am I starting to feel guilty for expressing my grief so openly. No one’s made me feel bad for doing so. But it’s been 2 months, yet it feels like I find out for the first time every day. But I feel weird about feeling “stuck”.

Okay, my algorithm on here is showing me a lot of thirst traps of hot, gay men and I’d like to believe it’s my brother showing me a sign.

🌱 live 🌱 Playing RV there yet? with the the mods! Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Happy November. 💛🌱 I’m live over on Twitch! Playing No, I’m Not Human. Twitch.tv/Cheebs

Just really missing my brother today.. I want to say grief is a nasty, awful thing… but I’m try to be compassionate towards it. To visualize it as a person who needs to be held and comforted. So, I’m sitting with her today. And letting her express the love that remains.

New YouTube video is up! I’m super proud of this one. I hope you like it. 💛 youtu.be/UlYI4GJwYcg?...

How do I make sure he’s not getting red-pilled

Show me what your pets dressed up as for Halloween right now. This was my dog a few years ago

Today was the longest stream I’ve done since losing my brother. Most days, I can only manage an hour or two. But today flowed so naturally, and felt like I caught a glimpse of “normalcy”. And that gives me so much hope. I love y’all. Thank you for being patient with me. 💛

I usually go all out for Halloween on stream , it’s my favorite time of year on Twitch. 
But I’ll be real with y’all… holidays are hard for me right now.
So today we’re keeping it chill. A cozy Halloween stream, games with friends, and maybe some scary ones later 🎃

what I’m focusing on over the next year 💕

When I adopted Jake, I didn’t realize how much we’d help each other heal. His owner had passed away resulting in him being surrendered. Soon after adopting him, my brother passed. We both lost our people, but we’ve found comfort in each other. I love you, Jakey.

For me, grief feels heaviest in the mornings. The anxiety upon waking up is almost immediate. Sleep is a brief intermission from reality, and when I wake up, I remember everything. I hope mornings get easier. 💛

We just like… have to keep folding laundry for the rest of our lives and I don’t want to accept that.