Let this be your annual reminder that in the book of Luke, we find out that Jesus's top priority after being resurrected was asking for snacks

I just want you to remember that I said this. Tomorrow.

The thing about making a grand plan to wake up at 10am, make the cookie dough that has to sit in the freezer for an hour, then go for a run is that you DO have to stand up again after you sit down post-dough creation

[soul calibur announcer voice] everybody knows you're high, and they're mad at you

*Doing Tom Cochrane at karaoke but I forgot my reading glasses*

Somewhere up in heaven, Richard Scarry is like “fuck yeah, told you so”: www.bbc.com/news/world-u...

imagining the scene in casablanca where they all defiantly sing la marseillaise despite being surrounded by nazis but it’s us and the song is born in the USA

It is, in fact, the stuff of populist campaigns! Everyone means everyone!

A thing about kittens is they mostly look like renaissance paintings when they don't look like absolute buffoons

I'm so glad microblogging didn't exist when I was 15

I wonder if Mickey 17 is thinking about me too

Taylor Lorenz blocked me on Twitter once because I asked her why she mined content from a private Facebook group we both belonged to :)

Unfortunate, but true: the only antidote to poster’s madness is having a rich and fulfilling personal life

I wore this dress when I saw the movie Dunkirk opening weekend. Everything old is new again

was just reminded that tomorrow is april fool’s day and especially this year can we just… not, please

@bosh.worstpossible.world Listening to your episode of Quorators from last year and it's the worst case of "I need to respond to this podcast, which happened in the past and not in front of me, out loud" I've ever had

The votes are in and once again, the only album you can listen to while you're writing is Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross's The Social Network

I know we're all cynical about shows like this for good reason, but new Scrubs feels pretty much exactly like old Scrubs plus the extremely welcome addition of Vanessa Bayer in her career-best role, Sibby the feelings coach

Me, rolling past on a SFF skateboard: WELL WELL WELL, LOOK WHO'S SUDDENLY THE COOL KID

On March 5, I told my endocrinologist I would start strength training once a week. Today, March 30, I am thrilled to announce that I am seriously considering giving strength training a go today but I am making no promises here or anywhere Here's Garrus

Reading pile has gone from "can only read nonfiction due to focus issues" to "this is a suspicious number of books about the craft of writing and no one is allowed to look at what's been happening in my Google Drive"

Just want to once again remind you that Taylor Lautner proposed to Taylor Lautner under a neon sign saying both of their last names

Hi fastest ever race feeling cool thanks bye

Have they invented a way to microdose Diet Coke or

Baseball fan as in "wore my Mets shirt yesterday because I didn't know today was opening day and am finding this out for the first time via Bluesky"

Try not to take it personally, Mary Steenburgen, they don’t think anybody understands their little “playgame” Watch: www.patreon.com/posts/153779... Listen: www.patreon.com/posts/153779...

There's what looks to be a purebred Siberian at the rescue right now and his name is Cat Damon and I spent two hours with him and now I would lay my life on the line for the man

It finally happened: I brought my own blue cheese to the place where I get buffalo tendies because last time I paid for one container they gave me three

(when my circus and monkeys are under threat) oh no! that’s my circus! that’s my monkeys!!!!

The viral meal slop trend. Can anyone hear themselves

I updated my blahg for the first time since 2026 but I will not be updating the profile picture, which is from 2010 and features my hair looking absolutely immaculate citizenchristy.wordpress.com/2026/03/23/r...

Someone I know recently adopted two cats from the org where I volunteer and the cats' familial relationship is uncle and nephew so I had to resist the urge to say "Ah yes, the LMFAO of cats" when I found that out Thank you, @whatatimepod.bsky.social

when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet

"Oh, season two of 'Twin Peaks' is terrible." COUNTERPOINT:

"i'm on the struggle bus today" bro i am driving the struggle bus. and if it goes slower than 55 mph it's going to explode

The results have exceeded even our most whimsical expectations. Meet our rats!

I wish we had polls on here so I could definitively find out whether or not I should eat my Chipotle leftovers from last Thursday

I really needed this today

If they don't play Sting's "Brand New Day" in the movie trailer I'm not interested. This applies to every movie trailer

I’m the guy who allows notifications from every website that asks. I need those noties baby!!!

I wrote about Kat.

I think we need to go back to restricting all of our most insane Awards Season takes to the comments of New York Times Carpetbagger articles, like this one about WALL-E from 2008.

The office internet is down and the small cat has been made aware

thinking about the medieval cat door in Exeter cathedral again

I can't recall the last time I was so moved by a best actor win. MBJ played twins. He had to have Swiss-watch timing to make it work. He's a movie star in both roles. He also coproduced Sinners, BTW, and not in name only; he shouldered it the way Warren Beatty drove films directed by others.