Do you think that there were guests at the wedding from Love Actually panicking during the ceremony like "Did the invite say that we need to bring a trombone? Well, he's your cousin."

Not sure I can muster the energy or inclination to involve deodorant in today. It’s lucky I made it to the shower.

Was in M&S at 6am yesterday (fail to prepare, prepare to fail etc) and was quite a stress free experience, HOWEVER I apparently bought c.1kg of potato salad. Along with mash and roasties. Short story, I’ve never met a potato I didn’t like.

@kvnclmn.bsky.social Did you pick up the Chequered Flag today? I thought I’d missed it but it was in today’s paper. Godspeed.

Just in case you never saw this on Twitter, it’s a masterpiece of a thread.

Aww, have just gently scrolled the TL and can see some names for ye olde twyttr. Oddly comforting.

One of the greatest Christmas traditions, thanks to lovely @rhodri.biz - here's the link to contribute if you can ❤️

Tbh I’d forgotten about BlueSky. I think I even deleted it at some point. Have re downloaded today just to see @rhodri.biz #duvetknowitschristmas for another year 🥰🎄

Not sure if BlueSky is the same but if it was in the old days of Twitter there would already be an account called ‘Ma Burke’s Shoe’.

I love this!! Actress Cassandra Peterson, better known as her horror hostess character Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, has donated her Tesla to NPR. Keep Reposting #Swasticar #ElonSux

Make America Gastrointestinal Again

Mate. When it’s pointed out how you socialised with a wrong ‘un, don’t then list out even more wrong ‘uns you know.

ppl getting angry at this but he's talking alliances and he's 100% right- you cannot trust a country where every 4 yrs the foreign policy does a complete 180 & tears up treaties and reneges on deals and withholds payments because some sheep farmers in Wisconsin think too many black women have jobs

What Trump needs now is another one of those fake assassination attempts. Just to up his ratings a bit BECAUSE SURELY TO GOD no one can think he’s worth shit now. Not that the good people ever thought he was, like.

FYI “Costume” (костюм) is the Ukrainian word for suit. FYI2 Zelensky has vowed not to wear a business suit while his country is at war, and he’s stood by that vow for 1,101 days

A guy who used to be a comedian & is good at improv and dealing with hecklers and who has also spent the last 3 years in a war zone turns out to be a guy you can’t out-alpha, imagine that

The suit exchange should go down in history showing how brilliantly sharp and funny Zelensky is and how he put Vance down (all in his second language). Vance: Why don’t you wear a suit? You never wear a suit. Zelensky: When the war is over I’ll wear one. Maybe one like yours or maybe a better one.

Russia's response to Trump's tantrum says it all really:

Time for the EU and UK to step up. There’s no choice now.

Seeing Marjorie Taylor Greene’s snivelling shit of a boyfriend have a pop at Zelenskyy for not wearing a suit a few days after Musk was druggily guffawing in the same building while wearing a T-shirt and baseball cap has caused me to run amok with a hammer and cause untold damage to my own property

I love Facebook Marketplace. This is the only photo of the item for sale.

Even though Godfather 3 is not ideal compared to 1 & 2, G3 Andy Garcia is Peak Garcia. G3, Internal Affairs and When A Man Loves A Woman are the Garcia Trifecta. Ocean’s Garcia also receives an honourable mention.

Please just let me reuse my password. Please I am begging you. Please I don’t care if someone hacks my Barnes and Noble account. Please I have no new passwords left. Please you have taken them all from me.

Not to be over dramatic or anything but, at a checkout in a shop, if the person in front of you doesn’t put a divider down for you when they’ve finished putting their shopping on the conveyer belt then you should be allowed to stamp on their fingers.

In 1977, Vincent Price starred in a one-man-show where he played openly gay Oscar Wilde; it was condemned by Anita Bryant. When asked about her condemnation, Price replied that Wilde had already written a play about Anita: “A Woman of No Importance”

Love when online news articles say people "took to social media" to comment on something, as if we ever leave, as if we're not bleary-eyed limpets clinging to the underbelly of this hellhole, vomiting endless hot takes

I am reluctantly taking down the Christmas decorations today. When I win the lottery imma gonna have a year round Christmas grotto in the house 🥰🎄

#inspirationtweet! In a hospital hallways you can come across the most gorgeous art, in this case a tapestry of technical tests from a weaving machine (by Allisa en Nienke, an NL design studio). #inspiration #art #design (no worries, just accompanying a friend for a simple checkup)

mark zuckerberg’s entire adult life has been a revenge tour against women

This stuff is very sexy. Am restricting myself to just a waft of it on a croissant but I could go full on snout deep in it.

President Jimmy Carter was as fine and decent a man as ever served our nation and this world. What a legacy! May he rest among angels forever. Thank you, Mr. President. #RIPJimmyCarter

My hope is that the turnout for Jimmy Carter’s funeral/memorial/tributes far far outweighs the Trump chumpfest inauguration.

Jimmy Carter and Netanyahu are trending. Unfortunately, they took the good one. RIP.

Ivor (2) received a kazoo for Christmas, and we are reaping the rich rewards.

Here are 5 top things I'll be watching closely in global public health in 2025: 1. H5N1 outbreak trajectory 2. Impact of RFK Jr. on infectious dz control and vaccines in the US. 3. The mpox outbreak in Africa 4. Expanded access to Lenacapavir for HIV PrEP. 5. The US withdrawal from the WHO.

Raising Arizona was released 1/3rd of the entire history of the motion picture industry ago

I'm just watching the Vincent Price cooking show (a gift for Christmas) and he's just made a chess set out of cheese.

8 years gone today. Some debate on whether this is an accurate likeness but I love him and he’s on my tree each year 😍

I love it @hiddenbritain.bsky.social

+ 'BBC2 IDENT CLOCK' + In between working on orders this morning I made a BBC2 clock for a friend's Xmas present. Popped a handful in the shop, available to pre-order for shipping in Jan. The shop will close on Monday PM for the year, so be quick. 🎄 🎁 🔥 hiddenbritain.bigcartel.com

Just had a slice of chocolate log with buttercream so rich my ear canals have gone into spasm.

Everyone, please stop your Christmas celebrations for one minute and bask in the sheer magnificence of my present: this tuning card blanket which my fantastic wife Kath actually crocheted for me with her own fair hands and without even following an actual pattern! I'm a very lucky boy 🙂

Not wanting to be all ‘Gen X things were better in my day’ but I just watched the Morecambe & Wise Show and it was lovely. A wave of sweet nostalgia also waved over me. The Happy Ghost of Christmas Past.

Happy Christmas to everyone who works in 24/7/365 industries. Just smile at people hoping you enjoy the “break” 😉

Working today (briefly, not a full day) but hoping to see lots of happy Christmas pics on my TL later. Not just the picture perfect ones, maybe some chaotic, maybe some calm, but whatever makes you happy x

Size of this fucking tin.

This is the level to which we all aspire – peak #DuvetKnowItsChristmas