I ain’t playin that game. Think I don’t know an evil witch’s sigil when I see it?

North Berwick RNLI heroes heading on a Bass Rock rescue mission

Lovely manners (sound on)

Why do they call them “builder’s apprentices” when “teen spirit level” is right there?

My annual joke for PDA parents ahead of World Book Day dress-up pressure. Go as a character from The Explosive Child. Oh haha.

Siobhan Redmond: I’ve never outgrown my liking for a clever boy

Many treats in today’s Alba, inside The Times Scotland, including my chat with Kirsty Wark, cultural recommendations for the week and reviews of Gleneagles and the Globe Inn.

North Berwick looking dreamy

Me to me: you have deadlines and 300 emails to reply to. Also me to me: let’s find out which other birds look like they have eyebrows.

What a treat to talk to Kirsty Wark about her love of Arran, an early crush on Jim Morrison and why she enjoys Hacks. This'll be in print in The Times Scotland's Alba supp on Saturday. See her interviewing Justine Picardie at @pitlochryft.bsky.social on 1 March. www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

it’s beautiful to think One Battle inspired a whole new generation to read Thomas Pynchon’s wikipedia page

(first day as an AI salesman) Can I interest you in an exciting slopportunity

I never knew they called an Allen key a “hex wrench”. That is an unnecessarily sassy name, to be filed alongside “daddy long legs” and “tufted tit-tyrant”.

Pretty sure this is good manners.

Not the key point, but all the 'Andrew Mountbatten Windsor' coverage shows how quickly and easily the entire UK media complex can switch to someone's new name/title, even after using their old one for decades, when it's an incredibly pampered white male deviant. So, you know, it's not *that* hard...

C’mon, you badgers!

I do love a good weir: calm and clear on one side and roaring on the other. A bit like a yoga studio beside a primary school during break time.

Oh, the dopamine hit this gave me!

Pretty brutal protest in my town.

I found this simple masterpiece under the bed. I must’ve dropped it last summer. I wonder if the survived. 🥹

A truly wonderful teacher at our primary school needs help. A father of three, a volunteer fireman and a positive, selfless star of this community, he has a big, aggressive brain tumour for which there is currently no cure. Please help, even if you can only give a little. gofund.me/744fe0eba

On this day of state-sanctioned romance, I'm going to start a thread of birds' courtship/pair-bonding rituals, starting with the great-crested grebes' weed dance. Feel free to add your favourites. youtu.be/6RRtfpA86MM?...

Whenever my son has a play date over, he tells them: “No need to take your shoes off: if anything your feet will get dirtier from being in here.” Some shriek with joy at the outrageous housekeeping joke; others are solemnly literal.

May I interest you in some nourishing culture coming up in Scotland over the next week and beyond? Perhaps you’d prefer to read it in print, in which case do buy the Times in Scotland today - it’s all in the Alba supplement . www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

Rosie Jones is coming to Glasgow next week, starring in a play that explores sex and disability. See (We Indulge in) A Bit of Roll Play at Tramway. Interview in print in today’s Times Scotland. www.thetimes.com/article/a8e0...

Why do they call it “retirement” and not “eternity leave”?

I thoroughly recommend finding yourself a crow to walk with.

I spoke to Russell Howard about, among other things, how Mock the Week was a great education in joke-writing on subjects outside of his life. Interview in today’s Metro. Catch him on tour now.

Here’s Booker nominee Graeme Macrae Burnet on his love of Glasgow, Debbie Harry and the Applecross Inn. See him at Granite Noir in Aberdeen on 19 Feb. www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

Fucking hell. This is shocking (and shockingly well made.) Narcissistic sociopaths and abusers can’t see other people as human. Neither, apparently, do elites and administrations. It’s incredible that humans need to do this. To say “I was and am a human being. Remember.”

What a horrible thing to do to books.

If, like me, you’re the parent of neurodivergent children and the idea of going on a peak-time package holiday (gah, airport sensory overload!) makes you hyperventilate, this might interest you. This review’s in print in @thetimes.com Scotland (Alba) tomorrow (Sat). www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

Ironically, if you wandered around this shop dressed like that they’d have security follow you.

Sheryl and Russell joined me for a stroll.

Sanderlings enjoying the nutrients during an unusually high tide in North Berwick today. They’re so busy and resilient.

Beautiful light at Yellowcraigs today

Niche drag name for sale - Shiela Na Gig.

I like to think the “Thank you India” line in Alanis Morissette’s “Thank you” was originally “Thank you Center Parcs”.

There are some excellent cultural events coming up in Scotland next week. Here’s my pick in today’s Times Scotland (in print in the Alba supplement). www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

Another tough assignment. Mar Hall review - in today’s Times Scotland’s Alba supplement. www.thetimes.com/article/cf28...

Cindy the baboon’s memorial service is being livestreamed on Sunday. All those words in the same sentence.

Foam party in North Berwick

Crow hag diaries.

Isn’t this mesmerising? Look what the moon does to the tide.

Rookie move eating Fruit Pastilles on the beach in a 40mph gale.

Taking notes.

One of the most surprising things about getting older is the frequency with which you ask what hospital people went to when hurt or sick, like you’re some kind of hospital expert.

Alba’s back from its winter break! In today: cultural fun in Scotland for the week ahead, including @marcusbrig.bsky.social and Skipness Festival of Light. I chat with Dougie Donnelly, @chitgrrl.bsky.social gets indulgent at Vinette. In today’s Times Scotland and all on the main Times website.

We’re going to meet some brand-new lambs this weekend but, thanks to my absolutely rubbish crumbs of BSL, I think I’ve just told my Deaf in-laws: “We welcome fat Satan on Sunday.”

Not a popular brand among those with sensory issues