So nice having the sanderlings back - running around like flying’s a last resort.

Poor oystercatcher in the front/middle lost most of his leg, but seemed quite capable.

Why do they do it? Those tiny sentences On LinkedIn. Like shit little poems Written by AI Drawing pointless parallels Saying nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

It’s like getting a bafflingly random gift from a relative. Like, thanks for thinking of me or whatever, but what on earth made you think I’d want this?

Loads of good stuff in today’s Alba (in print in The Times Scotland and online at thetimes.co.uk). Scottish travel, arts, culture, food and drink, opinion. Nice.

What does it feel like to write “Who?/Never heard of them” under a newspaper* interview? Is it exhilarating? Like throwing your dog poo bag into a bush? Or fly tipping? *places largely designed to tell you stuff you didn’t already know

It’s giving Debenhams’ “effortless festive glamour” range.

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

🧵 The darndest thing. Today I was browsing in a little old book and curios shop in Edinburgh’s West Port - a place that only accepts cash and whose downstairs is so small the shopkeeper asks you to leave your bag behind the counter before you descend the narrow, higgledy piggledy stairs. >>

I enjoyed talking to Doon Mackichan, whose uncompromising approach to some horrible aspects of the business - which many others feel pressured to tolerate - takes guts. In today’s Metro.

Got me a train buddy.

Miss Chile singing death metal during the Miss World competition. How I wish she would shout: “France!” in that voice.

"Be lucky. Yes, do the hard thinking work, the due diligence, the research, reading widely, asking unexpected questions. And then be lucky." Thank you to Scottish makar Pàdraig MacAoidh (Peter Mackay) for these answers. See him at @ptbopoetry.bsky.social on 23 Nov. www.thetimes.com/uk/scotland/...

lol

Word to the wise: Yorkshire puddings don't have to be part of a roast meal. Whack 'em in the air fryer, serve with cheap gravy. Ten minutes to prep and eat. Nobody else needs to know.

It’s disproportionately annoying when villages/towns/roads are described as “sleepy”. That would suggest some kind of worrying gas leak.

Maybe technology can wean us off noisy fireworks one day. They did some incredible stuff at @theenchantedforest.bsky.social in Perthshire last month, projecting complex moving images onto thin jets of water from the loch.

Interesting chat from the summer with Aneesh Bhoopathy, the guy behind Zohran Mamdani's gorgeous and thrilling visual identity. www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/politic...

Guy Fawkes' signature before and after starring in Panto season with John Barrowman.

Advice I wish I’d been given years ago: there might be one GP at your surgery who you won’t click with*. You can ask for someone else without giving a reason (if you’re lucky/patient enough eventually to get the option). * I’m being polite, while also taking account of their myriad work pressures.

Edinburgh! Today’s your last chance to see the Andy Goldsworthy show at the National Gallery/Royal Scottish Academy. It’s remarkable and completely beautiful. Don’t miss out.

The irony, of course, is that I very much wish to befriend the crows, and usually have peanuts in my pockets for them.

If you see me in this please know it’s violently against my will.

Amazon is helping fund a $300 million build of a ballroom for the White House. Independent bookstores are donating to food banks and organizations that help with food insecurity. They are not the same.

I don’t want to win an Omaze house. I want to win a housekeeper.

Sigh

I feel like mushroom Tartex would be a good face masque for dry winter skin.

I had fun talking to Jonathan Watson, whose link to Tunnock’s is outstanding. www.thetimes.com/article/d688...

NEWS: Graham Norton’s just been named as the newest ambassador for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Why do these sound like MAGA paramilitaries?

I’m calling it: acoustic version of Pussy Palace for the John Lewis Christmas ad.

I’ve never heard a heron shouting before but this one was furious about a dog interrupting its zen fishing and really squawked as it flew off.

This is just perfection

I’m calling it: acoustic version of Pussy Palace for the John Lewis Christmas ad.

Peahens are considered (comparatively) dowdy but look at her!

You might think you’re not like your parents, but then you find yourself percolating resentment for the new neighbours for cutting down a lovely tree, and you know you’ll nurture that grudge till your final breath.

Look, I know it’s not the main story here, but Lily Allen’s got Tunnock’s Teacakes in her shopping in this photoshoot.

1982. Ambitious new researcher presents this, looking imploringly at Esther Rantzen. Without shifting her gaze, a disgusted Rantzen points aggressively at the laminated guidelines on the wall.

I just used the men’s loos at a feminist poetry gig.

didn't get enough sleep last night and now i'm crying laughing over this

The new Strictly hosts should be both Brian Coxes. One gazing in awe before explaining the physics; the other barely concealing his irritation.

Sometimes I want to cry with gratitude for how lovely young dentists are these days with neurodivergent children. There is so much they need to consider, from an inability to stay still to demand avoidance and sensory processing issues.

Two Doors Down is coming back as a live stage show at the Hydro next autumn. www.thetimes.com/article/0cb5...

What’s wrong, child? You’ve hardly touched your dehydrated goose trachea.

Did you know one of Dita Von Teese's favourite corset-makers lives in Edinburgh? She'll be visiting him in February when she comes to @edinplayhouse.bsky.social as part of her Nocturnelle tour. Our interview will be in print in The Times Scotland (Alba) on Saturday. www.thetimes.com/life-style/c...

Ooh, @zackpolanski.bsky.social’s going to be on Have I Got News For You on 7 November.

The best dogs are dogs that lean on you.

I recently discovered that the most terrifying - by some margin - kid from my school is now a “laughter yoga” practitioner. I’ve seen clips of their workshops and everyone’s pretending to laugh, clearly out of fear.

Born to frolic, forced to enter my verification code.

This is what it looks like when children say “six seven” into the Merlin app. Don’t pretend you weren’t curious.