claude, milk this guys prostate for me please. thanks claude

we should be selectively breeding cats to make them larger

really unfair that there aren't dog sized domestic cats

first time baking and i made cinnamon rolls but they taste really doughy and i feel like the dough didn't rise enough or something ? what do you mean i didn't nail it on the first try

i need to start making my own coffee at home but i hate brewing a cup every morning so maybe i should make cold brew ?

cigarette that cleans your lungs and makes your peanits hard

all the tech they're inventing right now is annoying and evil when all of the country's resources should be directed towards inventing a kind of smoking that's good for you

vinegar fact: it's the only acid that when concentrated to the point where it has no water it's referred to as "glacial acetic acid"

i commissioned an artist to make my sister a custom littlest pet shop toy that's made to look like her dog and i'm so excited to see the finished product

check it out!! This Guy can make so many Browns you won't believe it <3

stone tops are some of the sexiest people alive tbh

happy 420 i just smoked weed and ate delicious food all day

donna summer kind of morning i can't wait to get Wrecked at work lol

chicagoooooooooooooo

yearning really embarrassingly hard right now tbh

monke🍌

some day i will be able to use the router table without feeling like im in mortal peril

my biggest weakness as an employee? probably that i don't wear pants at the office. that i let my dick and also my balls hang out just all the time.

humans are just supposed to be connecting with each other and making shit and the rest doesn't matter

went to go make bookends at the shopand then i met someone trying to make a new instrument and he made me dinner and we hung out all night

one trillion to sasha

everyone should give me one million dollars for my birthday

i don't like the lime cucumber gatorlyte it tastes like i'm drinking the idea of a salad

doing research before i form my opinion ever heard of it?

taking my lumber on the bus like a fucking alpha

president xi i mean they

transcendent movie experience watching barbie fairytopia tbh

the bus is so cool! it takes you from one place to another

my bus driver is hot this might be the first time this has happened to me

i used to eat beyond burgers when i was vegan and i thought they tasted like the meat of some beautiful fantasy creature in a good way. it also made me poop big time but idc i would eat one right now.

heart breaking a cheeseburger was born this morning without its wrapper to keep it warm

free the horse

i know i look like my cat, she came out of my womb

tool authorization complete, wood ordered, long drink in hand

is it gauche to send nudes on easter

cleaned my whole apartment, did laundry, made blueberry sheet pancakes with the extra pancake mix i had and now i have to go prove to a bunch of woodworkers that i wont use their table saw to cut my own finger off

into whatever this is

cigarettes should kill you after one hit like a bee dying after a single perfect sting

walking around in the rain and smoking with ur friend :))

can you get workers comp for having glass bones and paper skin

The GOAT Moon Tweet

someone just told me to find some bisexual spaces... zumies?? movie theatre bar??? what are we talking about rn

If you’re pure of heart you can hold in your poop until it disappears

Someone sent me this.

YOU - “I approve of this, very futuristic.” (Tap on the girls kissing.)

the middle gender: baristas

they are adding a sixth stage to grief called monkey mode

furiosa is like if fury road was shinier and lacked any fun character interactions