Ruins a first date: “Runs wet finger round wine glass, for whole meal, single slightly off key note & hums!”

🎶”No one types like Gaston! On line fights like Gaston, In a trolling match nobody S.W.A.T.S like Gaston! His DP’s they are actually terrifying! oh what a shit that’s Gaston!”🎶

#BadlyRememberedSongLyrics Mice mice babies Doo be doo Dee do do Mice mice babies Doo be doo Dee do do

Leonard Nimoy was more than a colleague—he was a friend, an ally, and my political soulmate. Leonard played a half-human, half-Vulcan officer—a being caught between two worlds. Yet in his own life, he was perhaps the most profoundly human person I have ever known.

The idealized version of me recognizes the idealized version of you. namaste

Copy and paste the bunny and then put something else in his hand (\_/) (°-°) />🎈<

I don’t think anyone really dies I mean You are barely cold when your gut bacteria are eating you from the inside out … & then the worm party begins 6 months after your heart stops you are a whole murder of crows & the fun really starts

Oh look another ‘ghost wife!’ Meme show Never get a ghost husband meme for two reasons 99% of husbands are just glad of the peace n quiet … & then this guy took the high ground

#HubbyBaking Lamb pasties

Package Expected delivery today between 10am & 2pm So delivery will occur - as soon as I go out then 🤣

It so is 😂

Nazi gonna Nazi I’d rather have them out in public where they are visible Than hiding in the dark…

If cat5e then mou5e?

Without revealing your actual age,what's something you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand? Waiting listening to the whine & buzz of a tape player, for 10 or 15 minuts While a game loaded with

Badly Remembered Song Lyrics #BRSL 🎶”blackboard screeching in the dead of night Take these broken chalks, and learn to write! Hugh has just been waiting for your house to catch alight ”🎶

And also GenderAir & GenderFire We await the chosen one! Who controls all gender forms

To continue In this excellent vein I’ve always respected the Pepperami advertising “It’s a bit of an Animal!” But they never tell you which bit, or what animal? Pepperami! putting the mystery back into mystery meat 😂

What’s the most ridiculous way you’ve injured yourself? Put a board in the doorway to stop a kitten getting into the kitchen! Stepped over board & tore the nail right off my big toe

*Seductively* … the dishes are done, babe.

Some people are like Slinkies … Pointless, under a lot of tension & quite fragile … but they do make you smile when you see them falling down a flight of stairs!

I don’t want to blow my own trumpet but… I managed to order & get the correct replacement door shelves for our fridge First try …

Baileys coffee in a pint mug? Don’t mind if I do … had to kill the bottle! It’s post new year so all the pissedmass alcohol needs to be drunk It’s a legal requirement or something

#WillowWorld Lil girlie entering 2026 safe & happy #DogsOfBluesky

Never wish death upon your enemies Wish explosive diarrhoea … While stuck in traffic On public transport And frequent bouts of sneezing 🤣

Ponder It’s ground almonds, never sky almonds & we wonder why the cake won’t rise!

There’s an economic theory that explains why people get offended when someone rises! called the crab bucket, where the escaping are pulled back in by the weight It fails to address the most important question about poverty trap economics Who the fuck keeps shoving us all in these buckets?

It’s 3million years in the future … aliens arrive with technology that can resurrect the long dead … And pick you … First words?

#HubbyBaking First attempt at a proper royal iced Christmas cake & I’m well pleased

#HubbyBaking Leftover Christmas pie, turkey, ham, carrot, parsnip, sprout & sweetcorn … in a white sauce done with butter herbs & cream, topped with flaky pastry

I started a football league for chickens … first game all players on both teams were banned … For fowl tackling …

Tonight over dinner I was asked what my “big goal” was for 2026. I said, “I’d really love to be on Kelly Clarkson.” “Why that show?”, they followed. To which I responded, “𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬?”

I am awake & have remembered I need to put the bins out … How’s that for a Christmas fucking miracle

I am very full of cheese … Message ends

I have forty films in my top five.

#TrekSky #StrangeNewWorlds Behind the curve just starting season two, great new character incoming “I’m not a witch! I’m your Wife!” This has a great old trek feel & knowing series 4 is in the can is great

iconic cause of death: choking on a lifeguard

What’s everyone’s favourite Avatar quote? Mine is: "I say we take off and Avatar it from space! It’s the only way to be sure!”

Always with the sage advice! but never a parsley hint. Or an oregano old wives tale 🤷‍♂️

It’s always a witch hunt! Never a why, or a where hunt🤷‍♂️

ME: it’s boxing day SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT: oh shit oh fuck

@bbkittyfck.bsky.social I cooked this and thought of you

Faking my oregano

This the eve and all over the house People are going Fuck it that’s good enough #BeerOClock

#Poll So ParmaViolets, very Brit sweets Love it or hate it? Have 3 ladies in the house who love it … so I am plotting and sneaking a special #HubbyBaking

If the holidays routinely wound you & kind people reach out to comfort you, don’t be afraid to accept that comfort even if you’ve been accustomed to the pain of the season for years. It can help keep you on a healing path. If you’re still alone, you still matter. You always did & you always will.

#GNU #TellTheirName For Jack my grandfather in law. Who never withheld his heart, who was grandfather to me from first meeting & I grandson & equal in his eyes To a man who was incapable of pouring out spirit in small measure From his heart or from a bottle 🍾

New life (death) goal just dropped Still cremation But I want to be prepped like the Egyptian kings of old Everything removed to jars & cavities stuffed Just stuff me with popcorn ……

#HowToMakeThingsLighter Division

#Ele #Poetry #Apophis Shes out there With our name on her Running late for our date But she’s got gravity Behind her Killer curves comin here Civilisation’s falling for her She walks in blows The atmosphere Her sister once carbon Dated a dinosaur