Welp. Final WTF on Monday You think on the last episode, he'll reveal what WTF stands for? My mom won't tell me

I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, but it's illegal to even TRY ON other people's skin!

And with this morning's coffee sipped, time for the suffering to begin

Krang represents humanity What are we if not brains in human suits

Take The Cake should mean something negative You leave my cake alone

If the Deep State were smart, they'd plant mics and cameras on the benches around Washington monuments That's where all the secrets get spilled

Giravves

So you're saying DESPICABLE ME is a delivery device for Minions. You sit down, you start the movie, you're gonna get your fix You're gonna get your fix, yes

A couple of years ago, deep into an ongoing mental health crisis, I sat in a theater watching BEAU IS AFRAID Toward the end, I was all but convinced the cast was about to emerge and explain how the whole movie was about me Now, I make this hallucination a reality:

At some dork concert for dorks I could kill everyone in this room and none of them could stop me I now understand why God can be cruel

Hopefully with a new mayor New York will finally be able to move on from the rampant corruption of the Mike Haggar era

One of the greatest, most disturbing quotes I've seen in a long time www.nytimes.com/2025/06/13/t...

Currently reading Caroline Fraser's dark masterpiece, Murderland, which is part report, part elegy for the departure of sanity that comes from living in the Pacific Northwest. Of course, we imagine ourselves as fonts of common sense. It's our WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP.

A section of a grass set aside for elderly dogs to safely play with each other is a FURassic Park. You have read this far which means I have once again defeated you. I have taken both your time and dignity from you, and left in their place a void as deep and hopeless as the gulf between stars.

#TheYippeeKiYayPrinciple is an alternative take on #MentalHealth and a film guide of too. One film championed in it is THE WRONG GUY, @DaveSFoley's modern comedy great. Watch it free here: youtu.be/OYrLniRQuxs?... ... after you've bought my book first: mybook.to/YippeeKiYay

You, A Pedantic Fool: Actually, Frankenstein was the doctor Me, God's Elected Servant: Oh, do you not consider playing God monstrous?

Despite my total inability to do math and general ignorance of science; I believe I've solved the discrepancy between force and statistics in the over performance of the .380 round Please connect me to a scientist or FBI gun person

They can't evict you if you reply to an HOA email with threats and swearing can they?

Looks like I hit a nerve - Bad Dentist

The real monster in Dracula (1897) is the reader, for reading these people’s private correspondences without their permission

I wouldn't say I'm BATTLING depression Frankly it makes some good points. I might be on its side now

How someone in the Midwest announces they are pregnant

Son, in this world, there are sheep and there are wolves And there are sheepdogs who protect the sheep from the wolves Then there are the wolfsheep, unnatural abominations that must be eradicated lest they counter and disprove God's plan

A label maker with only 2 settings: Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe and Pipe

Jesus performed 2 miracles on Easter: Rising from the dead and getting up on a Sunday morning

Mario sighs, exhaling the despair of his pointless, undying life. The controller takes over his body once again, forcing him to jump.

It’s the stupid, economy.

YOU'RE made of stardust I'M made of all the black stuff

Tom Waits would do the most heartbreaking rendition of Lunch Lady Land

Goes gently into that good night Goes so gently that Good Night sees me and says Hey, Where'd You Come From and I'm like Been Here The Whole Time Buddy

What'll you Gus give me if I convince Tucker Carlson the PREDATOR 2 Jamaican voodoo gangs are real?

Calling in Cursed to work

Isn't he really just Edward Scissorfingers?

A modern remake of GOOD MORNING VIETNAM called HEY GUYS

SOMEONE GIVE ME $700 IMMEDIATELY

A film noir where an edgy drunk is seduced by a femme fatale to kill her husband but the murder attempts go wrong in increasingly Looney Tunesesque ways

Just…don’t.

Don't call it a breakdown I been nuts for years

Guy who gets really into Floyd's THE WALL in his 40s

Let's not kid ourselves New Year

*smacks Kermit out of the puppeteer's hand* I said show me the REAL Kermit

Might attempt JOKER 2 today followed by THIEF Which would be a great Bob Dylan pun, but that movie looks terrible so I'll see something with a vampire instead

Back to work, Frank

Sunday evenings are great if you like depression and dread

Feeling blue? You might have synesthesia.

According to Spotify Wrapped, if anybody should know whether or not they're giants, it's me. (I don't. )