"three runs isn't a lot" imagine three tomatoes in your mouth

Every AI commercial is like "Hey AI, what goes good on a sandwich?" and then the AI is like "Have you considered... cheese?" And then the narrator is like: THE FUTURE IS HERE.

Whatever peckerwood said "you get more conservative the older you get" was huffing paint. He was just a racist bitch that needed an excuse to be more racist. I'm old as hell and have been getting more radicalized every year.

Noticed this fecker staring at me about halfway through today’s workshop

Trying something new

I Just Accidentally Microwaved A Fork And Nothing Happened, AMA

At first I did not check who had posted this and I was VERY confused - lol

Why so sarcastic, NEA?

Effing sharepoint just ate the last half hour of effing work what the eff

“Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the price of a barrel of crude to plunge 10%,” said Georgetown University economics professor Elizabeth Murphy

He wanted to lie here and is just absolutely unbothered that I am using his head for a desk. Snoring, in fact

The pollen this year is probably not actually worse than any other year, but it sure looks worse

Every picture of my dog is the best picture. 🥰🐶🥰

young pope leo looks like a ska scene regular who goes by Upbeat but no one knows his real name

True midnight exchange between 2 of my college housemates: 1: "Hey! What do you do if a spider bites you on the tongue?" 2: "Spit it out."

guys, this is how you lose the time war

How old do the children have to be before I can stop being on Scary Bug duty?

Her "Match Day" video went viral, but it’s the story behind it that’s inspiring. Meet the Howard med student returning to the hospital where she once worked as a janitor. washingtonian.com/2026/04/14/m...

It is Oak Pollen Caterpillar Thingies Blizzard Season

There better be shifty-looking carnies and janky rides with bolts missing.

This is more than legislation. This work is personal to me. theonion.com/illinois-bec...

its not too late to drink some water and take your vitamins

It took a full 8 hours of hyper focus - forgot to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, blink at all…- but I checked a thing off my to-do list.

Do we have to play the Pirates again today? I don't wanna.

In today's fb memories: That time I decided to see what Google would auto-complete when I searched "Why is [state] so...?" and mapped the results (circa 2021, hence the fixation on vaccines). I am sure I had actual work to do that day.

4yo next door drew a heart on me. Now I am going to spend the rest of the night going “omg, why am I bleeding?!”

Green Goddess Too Strident

Fell for an Instagram ad, but I have a good feeling about this one

vance must have forgot to pack his copy of art of the deal

Never gonna shut up about how TEXTILES are what bring astronauts home safely from the moon.

God, the helicopter retrieval is COOL AS HELL.

Oh no, they’ve been cast adrift. How long until they start eating each other?

The front porch! I was starting to think it was a myth

One of the Artemis astronauts stood up immediately after splashdown and started collecting his carryon bags even though he was seated in the back row of the capsule.

Sincerely… NASA couldn’t have chosen a better team of people for this mission. They have been a bright light in the shadowy time here. It’s been a joy to watch. #nasa #artemisii

Artemis II Splashdown, brought to you by Whataburger

Hilarious that we can send people around the moon and bring them back to earth safely, but we can’t make the phones connect.

Time for my regularly scheduled “OMG Chili Wok is so spicy but so good but SO SPICY” post

@trey197.bsky.social getting his wish for a nearby ramen shop!

MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free https://theonion.com/mlb-rookie-still-cant-believe-the-sunflower-seeds-are-free/

TOO real

Go taste some wine from my fellow Wahoos at the farmers market tomorrow!

Watson is a machine. He dug this trench in the few seconds it took for me to clean up after him. Note the distance of the dirt spray into the street. I should hire him out.

How it feels doing literally any task right now.

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

If anyone needs their sinuses cleared out, you’re welcome to the leftovers of the Thai red curry I just made: Oops, All Chilis

I don't even know wtf he is talking about, but I think Usha should borrow my favorite shirt

When it comes to Texas I will always, always believe it when I see it, but when my lifelong Republican aunt votes in the Dem primary, I can tell you that people are fed up.

there's just no way that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords could be even half as bad as this