Odd that the DoJ is opening an investigation into the Epstein files since they said in July that there was no client list and nothing to release.

This is a better answer than I gave on The Source to @kaitlancollins.bsky.social last night.

It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.

A trillion dollars is one thousand billion dollars; a billion dollars is one thousand million dollars. Minimum wage has stayed seven dollars & twenty-five cents since 2009. All of this is a choice made repeatedly. Our self destruction is deliberate and it is well funded.

I’ll say it again: the Senate Democratic leadership’s approach to handle a bully stealing their lunch money every day is to simply carry more lunch money and see what happens.

Marjorie Taylor Greene was once the factory model of a MAGA politician. It’s on him that he screwed that up.

I just don’t see how we can pretend even for a moment that anything involving our federal government is remotely normal when the president is covering up his involvement in a child sex trafficking ring. Like, what are we doing here

This the first visit to the US for Mohammed since the 2018 murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a contributing columnist to The Post and an outspoken critic of the Saudi government. Trump in his first term shielded Mohammed from scrutiny after the CIA concluded that he ordered Khashoggi’s assassination.

Surely some 30 year FBI veteran that Patel fired for not thinking his girlfriend sings pretty knows what Trump is so afraid of in the Epstein files. There’s got to be a Mark Felt out there somewhere.

Pam Bondi on Feb. 21: Epstein client list is “sitting on my desk right now.” Bondi’s DOJ on July 7: There’s no client list. As for other Epstein files, “no further disclosure would be appropriate.” Trump on Nov. 14: Investigate Bill Clinton over Epstein. Bondi, also Nov. 14: Coming right up, boss!

Basically saying "if you do crime for me, I won't only pardon you--I'll give you millions of dollars of public money." Truly unprecedented level of corruption www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

#justbelikemoss #moss

Pam Bondi will not have a license to practice law when this is all over. You can’t stay a bar member and agree to investigate only members of one political party for child sexual abuse but not members of the other. And, you can’t do it after previously saying no one else could be charged.

Potato pierogis with slow cooked caramelized onions & cabbage with bacon and cream. 🍽️🍜

People should be allowed to have a THC seltzer if they want to

The replies to this are good for several hearty laughs.😆

😭😭😭

Imagine what this number will look like when health insurance premiums go through the roof and countless people will have no coverage.

From a statement from faith leaders at Broadview this morning: "God does not bless cages. God does not sanction abductions. God demands freedom."

What does the release of Jeffrey Epstein's emails reveal? "Primarily, it's that Donald Trump's name is in them," said @natalieandrews.bsky.social. "With the release of documents with his name, with his associates, you really can't distance yourself from this growing issue anymore."

@davidfrum.bsky.social: "Intercepting the cocaine boats is, even if every person were completely guilty as charged, even if they were all like senior members of the cartel and they were deserving of some terrible punishment, you'd be spending billions to save millions."

The only person whose standard of living has improved during this Trump term is Ghislaine Maxwell.

Wait so the person who wrote that Nuzzi profile is Carl Bernstein and Nora Ephron’s son????????? 💀 ☠️ 💀 ☠️

Feels pretty late in the cover up game to try “actually only Democrats have something to hide.”

Trump staged an insurrection and tried to overturn the election on tv. We all literally saw it happening and he got reelected after that 💀. No, I don't think the Epstein files will take him down.

I think so frequently about how Mike Johnson took his daughter to a purity ball as he currently blocks the Epstein files

This is cool. COURIER has created a searchable database with all 20,000 of the files just released from Epstein’s estate. Trump's name appears in them more than anyone else, in 1,628 documents. couriernewsroom.com/news/we-crea...

It soothes my bitter heart to know that no matter how much money Elon Musk has, he will never, ever be funny t.co/QhuKU9HCxA

this story was sort of lost in the last few days of the epstein news but it’s wild how many republicans appear to be pedophiles or okay with pedophilia

Everyone does know what's going on here, right? Should the Epstein evidence bill pass both the House and Senate, these criminals will say it can't be released because there is an active investigation. Never mind that a thorough investigation was completed, and the DOJ was prepared to try Epstein.

The Olivia Nuzzi photo reminded me enough of the Yarvin one that I checked whether they're the same photographer. They're not; it's just apparently house style about how to glamorize terrible people.

The discovery is part of a new area of research in which ecologists and economists find hidden ways many plants and animals — including wolves, bats, birds and trees — underpin human well-being They are learning that without saving nature, we can’t save ourselves 3/5

In biblical times, frogs were seen as a plague Today, thanks to new research, we know they’re actually guardians against disease 1/5

In normal times, it would be a major scandal for the President to direct his AG to criminally investigate his political opponents to deflect from his own involvement in a major scandal — and for the AG to immediately announce she is doing it. The Epstein scandal and cover up just got even bigger.

... and your truthful statement is not helpful to Trump, you get a felony false-statement charge under 18 U.S.C. § 1001.

New DOJ Manual prosecutorial guidelines (tl;dr): 👉 If you lie to a federal prosecutor or criminal or congressional investigator and your lie is helpful to Trump, you get a cute puppy and nicer digs. 👉 If you tell the truth to a federal prosecutor or criminal or congressional investigator...

NB: "critics" are calling this extrajudicial murder because that's what it is. The Independent's lede is basically equivalent to "what critics are calling an election", "what critics are calling news", or "what critics are calling dinner".

I feel like Trump has pioneered a new form of spoils, where criminal allies of the President can expect to be compensated for their crimes.

“Did you write that story about gross, completely obvious journalistic malpractice?” “Sure did, boss. Real fuckin sexy, just like you asked.”

Ironically, Republicans have historically suggested a very specific solution for looters

A perfect Amazon review.

How much money will Trump get as kickbacks from his gang of insurrectionists after they sue the DOJ and Trump pays them off with taxpayers' money?

NEW: DOJ has been in settlement talks with Michael Flynn -- Trump's first national security adviser seeking $50M for his prosecution by ex-special counsel Robert Mueller -- and Stefan Passantino, a Trump I White House lawyer who accused the House Jan. 6 committee of privacy violations bit.ly/4hWdolc

"Please trust us now when we say that what is happening in the Chicago area is wrong *** It is not law enforcement; it is terror."

As the FBI’s deputy director, Dan Bongino receives some of the country’s most sensitive secrets, including the President’s Daily Brief. His ascent to that position without passing a standard bureau background check is unprecedented, insiders say.

NEW: The DOJ is in settlement talks with Mike Flynn for $50M. They're robbing us blind. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

I was confident that Epstein killed himself. I wrote a column about it. I'm not so sure now. His secrets threaten to bring down a president and many other wealthy and powerful people. What we currently know is only the tip of the iceberg. There was so much incentive to silence him . . . .

Murphy on the shutdown cave: "Trump was showing signs of cracking. What did he do Wednesday? He called all Republicans to the WH & said, 'end the filibuster.' They basically told him no. His only play would have been to come to Ds to cut a deal, but we were so impatient we didn't even get there."