What a friendly thing to say. Very generous to of you to think of us during our most recent mass shooting and share news of your better one. Thanks for this friendly message, friend. I don’t think any of us were aware there could be such laws or indeed a better way of living. Good lookin’ out

The funny thing about jail is that it sort of operates on fairy rules, in that there will likely be food and drink available but if you touch it you'll be stuck there forever

Unbelievable feeling of relief seeing Stewart Lee on his list of enemies

ever wondered about what ranking officers in the us civil war were like? good news. there's not that many types of them. here you go

im not interested in "paranormal activity" call me when its a "pair of normal a-cup titties"

Holy shit, Jon invented Romeo dialing

TOKYO: We do not want the Ministry of Defense to buy drones from Israel. Please attend if you can. EVERYONE: Please sign AND SHARE the petition now if you haven't. It's getting submitted very soon: chng.it/j5GcksCn87

I would use it to buy drugs, alcohol, and pornography

"IF THE THREE STOOGES WERE STILL ALIVE TODAY"

I'm glad to see Gail the Snail found work

Something I really appreciate is that Grampa Simpson wasn't just in the Gay and Lesbian Alliance but actually managed to become the president, which can't have been easy

Something to think about is that if The Beatles were alive today they would have to call themselves The Earwigs and make songs about having sex with industrial machinery or no record executive would even give them a chance

The numbers 10-99 are called "the double digits". Memorize them. You don't want to be the guy at the party who's never heard of 57

What gets me here is not that he was hitting on his student, but how astonishingly bad at it he was. It's one thing to be a powerful male manipulator, but to be a high-ranking professor trying to prey on his students and come off like a Michael cera character is just an unbelievable level of shame.

internet is crazy

The Human Centipede Cannibal Holocaust Babe: Pig in the City Hostel

City of Sickos

Good Morning

I'm eating a whole bunch of asparagus right now, hope they announce his grave site soon

interviewer: under skills you listed evading large predator animals me: that’s right you see any hippo or lion bites on me? interviewer: i see several bites on your arms me: those are from a beagle which we can agree is not a predator of man

I stole my sister's boyfriend. It was all roaring, fire breath, and atomic radiation. In a week we stomped on Tokyo and hit the road.

You see it's funny because Canadians are suffering

He actually Puddy’d his wife

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

I'm so excited for Jake Lloyd's return to the big screen

Left to right: Seven missing children found in his crawlspace; "The Norwich Ripper", thought responsible for the deaths of at least 13 sex workers; No bodies but he showed both Emma Watson and JK Rowling his penis; "Doesn't feel right" if she goes more than a week without drinking orphan blood

"Ouch!" say some of America's most influential stove-touchers

"Die motherfucker die motherfucker die"

Scatman John, back from the grave and angrier than ever before

The expression in this image roughly reflects my response to this information

I love Alien Earth

Alright, going to see if I get any bites for this: I don't know who needs to hear this, but Ukraine has always been a breakaway province of Greater Moldova.

The back of Charlie's neck was so strong, it was a miracle. The front of his neck not so much, unfortunately.

I'm spectral Mrs Jackson (woo) I am not real My existence was a total lie You dreamed me up inside your mind's eye

Highly recommend reading this thread, which provides an excellent breakdown of why the current narrative of the assassination doesn't really add up and what really seems to be going on

Necro-ing this because I remembered a real answer, which is W.S. Merwin's "The Dachau Shoe" greatamericanprosepoems.blogspot.com/2012/02/dach...

"And YOU'RE gonna fry" after which she electrocuted the doctor with lightning from her fingertips

I'm hearing his head was bashed in by David Lucas in what's being described as "a bit gone wrong"

AP Photo: President Trump catching some of summer's last rays in relaxing Camp David weekend.

[Pointing to dark basement crawlspace] And this is the room one afternoon I knew I could love you

Snoop Dogg Says ‘I’m Scared to Go to the Movies’ After Seeing Spooky Vampires in 'Sinners'

I think that - BOO!