Bank of Mercia
@bankmercia.bsky.social
📤 602
📥 609
📝 2528
Please hold. Your death threat is important to us. Banner picture
@shortbreadfairy.bsky.social
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Soviet Mole
1 day ago
Some of the very finest & a protected title. If it's not distilled in the most Soviet parts of the Urals it's just methylated spirits.
2
5
2
It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. When the Dear Leader slumbers in His quarters, Lady B back from Her epic crusade to - err - Bath. When there is not a Squirrel to be seen, nor a Bard to be heard.
4 days ago
1
4
0
The Dear Leader
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
would approve of The Bank's activities yesterday, I'm sure Project Hail Mary, then kebabs on the way home!
5 days ago
0
3
0
It's Friday, so I'm expecting a pre-weekend missive soon from WOAD
7 days ago
0
2
0
The Bank is happy to announce that this season's New Potatoes will all carry the signature of the Dear Leader
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
. X will mark the spud.
8 days ago
1
9
0
Given the state of the kitchens, perhaps we should consider this 'The Grumble in the Fungal' That's a catchy strapline...
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
0
2
0
@meadhallcook.bsky.social
I have a business proposition for you - we open franchises of your delicacies! All across Mercia. I can see it now. We could use the first letter of 'Mead Hall' as a huge logo to attract people. Filet o'rat Double ratburger Rat Meadmuffins. Rat nuggets Mercian fries
10 days ago
8
23
0
Bow down before the greatness that is our Bard.
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
0
3
0
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!"
12 days ago
0
4
0
Word reaches Mercia from Frankia, where their deputy Bretwalda wonders whether we wish to return to some form of Heptarchy. WE ARE MERCIA. AND PROUD THAT OUR LEADER LED US FROM THE HEPTARCHY!
16 days ago
0
2
0
We *always* have a choice of where we shop Be more like
@riotgrandma.bsky.social
Shop wisely. Shop ethically.
add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
0
2
1
Make Mercia Green Again
add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
0
5
0
I hereby declare the printing presses open for business
add a skeleton here at some point
21 days ago
0
6
0
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
WulfHelm
21 days ago
I hereby declare this to be legal tender.
add a skeleton here at some point
45
215
23
Tomorrow morning, I plan to do something that I haven't done for probably 30+ years. And that's to be plastered by lunchtime.
23 days ago
6
14
0
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that The Bank will be bringing in animal themed currency
23 days ago
1
6
0
@theselectfyrd.bsky.social
"Wulfhelm, Bardy on stage"
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
"What do you mean Bardy on stage? Open fire. All seaxes. Dispatch Fyrdymobile to bring back his body" The Banker "Bardy's alive?"
@meadhallwench.bsky.social
"Bardy, I love you Bardy. But we only have 14 hours to free Mercia:"
add a skeleton here at some point
24 days ago
4
11
1
Post your fav Lord of the Rings character. Wrong answers only.
add a skeleton here at some point
25 days ago
0
5
5
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Stuart Davidson 🇬🇱
27 days ago
www.theguardian.com/culture/2026...
Team Jessie! And I ❤️ cats too.
loading . . .
‘Kitty karma’? Jessie Buckley tries to claw back approval after enraging cat-lovers
Oscar favourite insists she is a ‘lover of cats’ after telling podcast about ultimatum she once gave to now husband
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2026/mar/07/kitty-karma-jessie-buckley-cats
1
3
1
A huge shout out to all the women in Wülferhampton You're all ace.
add a skeleton here at some point
26 days ago
2
9
0
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Amos
28 days ago
This your car
@bankmercia.bsky.social
? 🧐
add a skeleton here at some point
1
6
2
The Bank's Spring Statement "Tithes to rise for all serfs" Thank you for your attention to this matter.
add a skeleton here at some point
30 days ago
0
2
0
Public Service Announcement We need to assume (for now) that this might last. Prices are rising. Quickly. They will only ever fall slowly. It might be prudent, for example, to switch the central heating off a little earlier than normal. And to eek out the fuel you have in your tanks
about 1 month ago
0
3
1
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
The Bank cannot wait to greet all who are swarming back to benighted Mercia, after having decided to avoid the Bretwalda's tithes by lying [Ed: which sense of 'lying'?] on a beach in the desert The Bank will ensure that these folk are warmly met at the Mercian border by our customs and tax officers
about 1 month ago
4
18
3
The Bank cannot wait to greet all who are swarming back to benighted Mercia, after having decided to avoid the Bretwalda's tithes by lying [Ed: which sense of 'lying'?] on a beach in the desert The Bank will ensure that these folk are warmly met at the Mercian border by our customs and tax officers
about 1 month ago
4
18
3
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Peter Heckel
about 1 month ago
Today’s distraction from your pathetic lives
@bankmercia.bsky.social
1
7
2
@dutytorturer.bsky.social
please note. And
@theselectfyrd.bsky.social
on his return We have our orders gents.
@ladyesmerelda72.bsky.social
shall pay.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
0
2
0
@theselectfyrd.bsky.social
and
@dutytorturer.bsky.social
I'm afraid we have a blatent, unrepentant, tax avoiding, good-for-nothing denizen of the community. Perhaps you would care to pay them a visit, Fyrdy and introduce them to DTs little shop of horrors.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
4
17
1
Truth bombs again
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
0
6
1
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
The headline writers are *always* right cc
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
about 1 month ago
3
27
5
The headline writers are *always* right cc
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
about 1 month ago
3
27
5
15 years old now, but this modern-day
@themeadhallbard.bsky.social
is still right, eh
@peter-heckel.bsky.social
?
youtu.be/5eBT6OSr1TI?...
loading . . .
The Daily Mail Song
YouTube video by dananddanfilms
https://youtu.be/5eBT6OSr1TI?si=8OS7nG0fmxHbDXCB
about 1 month ago
2
7
0
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Physically. Knee fucked (again). Dodgy hip. Back held together with 5 screws. Mentally?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
1
9
3
Physically. Knee fucked (again). Dodgy hip. Back held together with 5 screws. Mentally?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
1
9
3
As Chancellor of the Exchequor, I hereby declare that the cost of vet care for El gato negro de la muerte - described colloquially as 'a shed load' - can be equated to HOW FUCKING MUCH? Tithes to be raised on all serfs immediately. cc
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
8
21
2
Age Verification? Outside toilets. And reading the newspaper on the loo before wiping.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
1
1
1
The Bank is looking for denizens who would like to earn spuds! Yes, you heard that right. The Bank is willing to offer *a whole spud* to anyone willing to sit through the new Mummers Play about the life of Our Dear Lady B. Early tickets sales have been... disappointing
2 months ago
5
17
0
RIP
2 months ago
0
3
0
@themeadhallbard.bsky.social
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
0
0
0
Congratulations on making it to POETS Day. Your favourite Banker is quite chirpy today, as someone has booked him in for a meeting this afternoon at a site that is already *half way home*! Triple brandies all round!
2 months ago
5
22
1
Please note that all the assets of the one calling himself The Mole
@edcarver.bsky.social
are now the property of
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
, in line with the Mercian Financial Code
@theselectfyrd.bsky.social
is entrusted with enforcing this decision Thank you for you attention in this matter
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
2
5
0
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
The future's beige! As always, you are out in front of the fashion wave.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
0
6
0
See? This is why we had to Mexit! To get ourselves away from the oppressive Wessex Yoke. Mercian dialect for Mercian people!
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
1
4
0
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Even The Mercian Times has started rumours about rejoining the Heptarchy, going back to The Yoke of Winchester. This is *not* what The Dear Leader
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
led us through the Devonian Desert for, not why He took The Tablets (3 times a day) down from Glastonbury Tor. We are Mercia!
2 months ago
4
24
2
Even The Mercian Times has started rumours about rejoining the Heptarchy, going back to The Yoke of Winchester. This is *not* what The Dear Leader
@wulfhelm.bsky.social
led us through the Devonian Desert for, not why He took The Tablets (3 times a day) down from Glastonbury Tor. We are Mercia!
2 months ago
4
24
2
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
Prof Christina Pagel
2 months ago
Please please vaccinate your child against measles. This is from our
@independentsage.bsky.social
report from last year, led by
@trishgreenhalgh.bsky.social
&
@helensalisbury.bsky.social
independentsage.org/wp-content/u...
add a skeleton here at some point
7
529
304
Your favourite Banker was on the MBC's flagship Sunday morning programme 'Desert Island Discs' If you didn't catch me at my most erudite, here are my 8 choices This one would remind me of all the wonderful denizens of Wülferhampton. It was never any of you, was it?
youtu.be/drDs-Y5DNH8?...
loading . . .
We Didn't Start the Fire (Bardcore | Medieval/Renaissance Style Cover)
YouTube video by Hildegard von Blingin'
https://youtu.be/drDs-Y5DNH8?si=ymio3kw6FgjzB8Ao
2 months ago
2
11
1
reposted by
Bank of Mercia
"I will not fear defeat nor party slight, Till Burnham’s march is stayed at Gorton and Denton. And now a word comes, whisper’d from on high: “He may not stand, nor set his banner there.” Then hope lies wither’d, prophecy undone, For Burnham comes not on, but is held fast." 'McSweeney' Act V, Sc 3
2 months ago
1
9
2
"I will not fear defeat nor party slight, Till Burnham’s march is stayed at Gorton and Denton. And now a word comes, whisper’d from on high: “He may not stand, nor set his banner there.” Then hope lies wither’d, prophecy undone, For Burnham comes not on, but is held fast." 'McSweeney' Act V, Sc 3
2 months ago
1
9
2
Also, The Real World is Hell.
2 months ago
0
1
0
Load more
feeds!
log in