A very happy #FuckOffFriday to one and all.

Epicurus.

From the other place.

Cricket’s revenge.

Mr Pip will not eat his own foods because he is too interested in what the Psycho Death Panda is eating despite it being EXACTLY THE SAME FOODS! Mr Pip is an idiot.

I'm probably due royalties from whoever ripped off my profile when they wrote Slow Horses.

Congratulations, non retired folk. You've almost made it to the weekend.

Today, your Bretwalda has been doing community outreach, in.....

Today's spot the ball competition comes from last night's Premier League clash between Newcastle United and Manchester United.

Took your fucking time.

9/15 www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Wordle 1,720 2/6 ⬛🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Jazz.

Yes. Obviously.

No. You. Fully cognisant that M'Lady B is obeying the strictures of her unforgiving diet god, have just snaffled her slice of ham. YOU UTTER CUNT!

The Rookie. Episode 23. Field Marshall Gebhard von Blücher sends Nathan Fillion to warn the Duke of Wellington that Napoleon has discovered the secret of Man's red fire.

Current beard status. Biblical prophet on acid and/or ergot* *which they probably were tbh.

Tonight, I will mostly be eating fried eggs, chips, n a buttered slice. She's filled in the life insurance policy, hasn't she?

The Big Yin was once accused of drinking wine in a graveyard. Mark is drinking stout in a cave. Plus ça change.

I am giving serious consideration to on spending monies on a thing.

Can you guess what I'm watching?

Confucius once said that there was no greater pleasure than watching a dear friend fall from a roof.

This is true.

My letter of last resort. Fuck Wessex up first, then Hull.

Ben Goldacre used to sell t-shirts about this.

CC @colken.bsky.social

Mince n tatties.

The thing about human nature that disappoints me the most? It's unerring ability to prove me right.

Again. You cunts. With your flags. And your options. And your hot takes. As thick as flies on shit. Think it fucking through. Cunts.

Small Prophets. Episode one recap.

Braces. Huh. Yeah. What are they good for? Keeping your trousers up, uhh. And straightening your teeth over a significantly longer period of time, huh, yeah. Say it again.....

Fnar.

Mr Pip hath attended the veterinarians this night, and almost no blood wath spilt. Cost. 0.36 sheds.

Allegedly, the British army used to add Bromide to tea to stop any shenanigans after lights out. I was just wondering, when does it usually wear off?

Wordle 1,718 6/6 ⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛ 🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Someone's still talking sense, at least.

A very happy birthday to Macaulay Culkin.

That bit of work I did in Poland a while back for some folk I used to do a bit of work for? Turns out they're now owned by some Yingees outfit, and Kevin from Nebraska has just questioned my expenses.

Rereading Simon Scarrow's eagle thing from the beginning. I can do that because I'm retired. Unlike you.

Pretty much my entire foreign policy agenda right there.

Competence assessment, not spite.

I see Greg Stillson has had a busy old day.

M'Lady B wants to open her herb garden to the public. Not so sure myself.

Movies that, at least try, to get it right. The Reckoning 2004 The Physician 2013 The Adventures of Quentin Durward 1955 The Name of the Rose 1986 The Three Musketeers 1973 A Man for All Seasons 1966 Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World 2003 Waterloo 1970

And that was The Rural Payments Agency with their new single Proactive Twix from their long awaited second album, Firkins, Murkins and Dick Turpin.

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu (top table only) medically approved, slow cooked beef brisket with seasonal veg n mash Lower tables. Dr Frankenstien approved spam with spam n spam Vegetarian/vegan option. Almost unused Budgerigar cage liners Scraps and scrapings by the leper gate as ever.