Trebuchets. You'll believe a boy can fly* *briefly.

Can confirm.

So a lie Ftb #spellong

Louise Taylor, reporting from St James's Park tonight. #NUFC

I will, temporarily, stay my vengeful hand.

Applications are now open for the Wülfervision Song Contest. Demo tapes should be addressed to the Dragon, behind the oubliette, beneath the Mead Hall.

I'm not sure if this is true, tbf. Never having learnt my letters.

We have a library.

Amen.

And now for the bank holiday weather forecast for the Greater Wülferhampton metropolitan area.

In times of trouble such as these, I've always found alcohol to be sovereign against all ills.

Tonight's vista to Wülferhampton's Blockbuster video rental emporium has been an unqualified success, as you WILL all agree. CC @colken.bsky.social

FYI @mrlepus.bsky.social

And now for the classified kickball results. Englandshire Premier League. Brentford Nylons 3, Worst Spam 0. Nova Castria 3, Bridgerton and Hove Albino 1. Wülferhampton Wanderers 1, The Sunderd Lands 1. Woolworths vs Foulham. Late kick off.

No particular reason, but....

Yes. I discovered the ĺing hidden treasure of the Spadas. And no. I'm not sharing.

From Lesbos to Haltwhistle was the album Prefab Sprout would have written if only the dark forces of the patriarchy hadn't replaced Paddy McAloon with an android in 1983. CC @colken.bsky.social

I am fat, tbf.

This week, Mr Pip has barked at All things orange and spiteful Tafl Hypocrisy, and all its siblings Wine snobs The Isle of Lesbos The Guardian Thursday Quiz rocking up on a FUCKING FRIDAY! Crab salad sandwiches Emental Vibrations The Spanish Inquisition Crests and Haltwhistle.

12/15 www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

A very happy #FuckOffFriday to one and all.

Humans are a resource.

#ShitBirdPhotos The 'yeah, right ' edition.

Connections Puzzle #1054 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦 when connections compilers go "fuck it"

I love my Wülferhampton passport. Internationally recognised.

ME. GIVE ME THE HOTTEST THING ON THE MENU! OK, not that hot. Nor that. A smidge cooler? Cooler. A tad more cooler A little more. More. A touch more. PERFECT! Him. Enjoy your bread.

Is 'evil vampire' an ethnic minority? If so, she'd qualify.

My Nan smelled of mint imperials, lavender, snot and coal. Now it's all garlic and coriander.

Doesn't everyone?

#ShitBirdPhotos of the renaissance.

You can go to prison for reading Alexandre Dumas these days, these days.

Did no-one actually edit or even read Alexandre Duma's novels before they were published?

#ShitBirdPhotos (ish)