We are once again in the hands of Big Tissue

If I had to open a restaurant in Japan, I'd specialise in badly-cooking Italian food to the point where patrons left disappointed and didn't return. I'd call it Sighonara

Bugonia what a stupid fucking film jesus christ

Equalling my dad's innings today, to the day, which means in a couple of hours I'll have surpassed him. As his youngest child, that is quite the head fuck as a childless boy stuck in an adult body

London looking absolutely magnificent in the sunshine this morning. Hints of Spring, a tickling of the balls of better times

My favourite pudding. If it's on the menu, I'm having it, regardless of how full I am by that point. I admire a man with high standards (they're not even that high but I'm with him, it's surprising how often places get this wrong)

Everyone has their breaking point, I guess! (A rather spectacular goof from The Spectator...)

Lovely auld boy at the busy Central London bar tonight, sitting there all night it turned out, just going through his many, many Only fans messages (as I understand it, he was very much the customer of the transaction)

GAA Boys

Almost halfway! Thank you so much for your donations to our 3 kitties in urgent need. They don't know yet, but their lives are about to get so much better. Please keep sharing, the sooner we reach our goal, the sooner we can change their lives ❤️ www.gofundme.com/f/three-beau...

While publishing prices ahead of time is welcome, it won't prevent the exhoribant prices of treatment. My beautiful girl had nasal lymphoma and it would have cost £12k to treat her. Naturally we couldn't afford that so heartbreakingly had her PTS a couple of months ago: www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Football's BEST VAR Moments

@itsjoels.bsky.social now then son, just checking in. You keeping well?

Was a difficult 2025 but I still maintain that there were many positive aspects to it as well. For my own benefit, I'm going to try and document the small positives that happen each day in 2026 but can be forgotten when you review only the big life events at the end of a year.

Struggling with overwhelming levels of guilt after having to put my 2YO cat to sleep yesterday. Can't stop reliving the absolute horrendous experience, would do anything to go back and give one last cuddle. Any tips on overcoming that gratefully received

Finally found someone who says “at this moment in time” more than Gary Neville does. The answer, my Bluesky friends, is Phil Neville.

Couldn't agree more with this approach, plus funding councils to allow them to improve local areas. People need to feel improvement in a tangible way

realistic Star Trek

I thoroughly enjoyed this book (and currently working my way through a second in the series) so would heartily recommend

The cat has kept me awake for over 2 hours now trying to dig her way into my room. No amount of obstacles will prevent it from trying, and she only wants to get in to miaow. Up in less than 2 hours anyway, and brain is now fully racing so it looks like I'm operating on next to no sleep today

Been a cracking day of Glastonbury watching, so many wonderful performances. Parcels doing the business right now, perfect Sunday evening fare

Nile Rodgers and Chic there with an absolute masterclass. What a show, what a setlist, flawless. #glastonbury

Mortifying experience at Pulp last night but taking comfort that I’m not the worst person Jarvis Cocker has ever impersonated

Every guy with a tragic backstory (in a movie):

Thought about posting this yesterday a number of times but kept deleting it as it felt like it could be misconstrued as attention-seekery. I don't post much here, and many of those I follow from Twitter don't seem to post much, so I'm not even sure who might see this.

It's a peculiarly but predictable British thing to constantly moan about the state of local councils and yet Every. Single. Time. will use their local council elections as a protest vote and get the worst people in

PREVENT someone appearing on your Instagram feed ever again simply by following them #toptips

- hello I'd like to report a robbery please - can I take your name sir - Dick Turpin www.ft.com/content/a0df...

My cat is furious I won't give her my cheese toastie

Me: I like my wine like I like my women Sommelier: haha, well then allow me to recomm- Me: [closing wine menu] big titty wine pls

Signed up to a 30 day trial of Mubi so I could watch the Substance and going to try and fit as many in as I can. Tonight was The Worst Person in the World. Can't briefly review it with any sense of justice but I would absolutely recommend it, it'll sit in my brain for some time yet

Tackling the excess of Christmas leftovers with the greatest thing I've ever participated in: Gravy Fondue

Absolutely terrific stuff. Just the tonic for *gestures around* everything. So many brilliant lines

If the pictionary card said "nonce" I would draw this bloke

With the best will in the world, I would say if you are going to appear on tv to argue the libertarian case for being able to fuck your siblings, I would - myself, personally, myself - not seemingly style myself after a character from late 70s drama about forbidden love between siblings.

Girlfriend's dad has brought round a board game that has taken me back DECADES. Obviously, I spilled an entire glass of red wine over it and all of the cards

Recently have begun playing a new exciting game of "do I have insomnia or am I just that old now?"

WRITER OF 'WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS': And then we end on wishing them a happy new year, and that's the song 😊 FIGGY PUDDING MARKETING DEPARTMENT: Great! Just one minor suggestion

@gillianmauthor.bsky.social hi! Just finished Wrong Place Wrong Time, which I really enjoyed. Was recommended by the lady at the library, and then my GF (who managed to nab it before me; she's now onto That Night). Just wanted to say: love your work and thank you

“No worries if not” -President Yoon Suk Yeol

I beg of you, Bluesky employees, please make the back button on my phone not take me out of the app entirely when viewing an image. I just want to return from the image to the feed, it can't be that hard

Really fancied a curry when travelling round Maryland in the US and I've never wanted a Baltimore

The worst thing about my partner? Dreams. Every morning I am regaled of a series of disconnected sentences made up of words drawn at random from the dictionary, presented as the greatest narrative since Hitchcock's movies

What's my favourite thing about my partner? She doesn't like the best part of any cooked meal, the dried-on cheese around the edge of a casserole dish, leaving it all to me

Love the idea that with Trump about to take office alongside Co-President World's Richest Man Elon Musk, there's a risk we won't be sufficiently exposed to right wing view points because we're on BlueSky. It's a social media platform, not a sensory deprivation cave on Pluto.

Absolutely convinced that middle age starts around 50 and so I'm off to look for a German word to explain how I, a 39 year old, am actually *in* bed before 9 on a Friday night because it sure as hell can't be middle age

Been mulling this over for quite a bit recently: I think we've seen the last of songs with a dance routine a la Macarena. People don't watch music videos anymore so at best you might get a single move, but not a full routine you might see on the dancefloor at a wedding