2026 is the year of the what? (🐎)

Thrown her down a we-eeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll...

Oh, fuck off, Lulu.

Wishing you all a very, VERY Julie Goodyear. 💖

This upcoming Corriedale crossover intrigues me. I hope Steve MacDonald walks into The Woolpack, spots Jai Sharma at the bar and yells out, "As I live and breathe, it's my old Street Cars business partner Vikram Desai!" and makes this face.

Top of the Pops: Review of the Year 2025. #TOTP

Before the networks get too busy, the clocks go back an hour at midnight. Don't forget.

Next year's fitness goals: I plan to stand up without making an involuntary (or voluntary) noise. And then sit down again. Let's hope I smash it. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Wart of the Worlds. #MakeAFilmCheaper

Apocalypse Nowt. #MakeAFilmCheaper

Playing the newfangled version of Guess Who? with my niece and it's just no fun. There are no nonce characters. And why have they swapped Steve Pemberton for a twink? Rubbish.

Share a 90s TV show that deserves more love.

It's not Christmas until you've nailed a giant gingerbread man to a wall alive.

Can't believe people already have their Christmas decorations up. Gets earlier every year.

Doctor Who and The Time Monster is on U&Eden right now. #IYKYK

And a happy bastard Christmas to you, too.

Best. Christmas. Ever. I've already performed a vaginoplasty on my Action Man doll. #LookAroundYou #PretendPlayToys #MEDIBOT #1980s #VintageToy

"Incidentally, a Happy Christmas to all of you at home!" - my Christmas #DoctorWho knitted jumper design that nobody asked for.

Looks like Hull Fair.

Suppose this is the final line for the Disney / Bad Wolf / BBC collaboration. As you were, Doctor Who. To be fair, I don't really *see* that Disney money, in that it looked pretty incredible beforehand. Jodie Whittaker's era, especially.

Sad news about Chris Rea. I’ll be marking the occasion later by breaking an egg into my bath. It's just so Chris.

Turns out, the title was a typo that got out of hand. It was supposed to be 'The Wart Between the Land and the Sea'. #TheWarBetween

Just passing through the Pennines (namely Royston Vasey) as I head back to Manchester. The shops offer some rather questionable Christmas card options.

Catching up with 'The War Between', it makes me wish there was way more British SF TV like this being made at the moment (esp with a political thriller/critical engagement vibe); it feels like a kind of adult-oriented TV drama that's rarely invested in & supported by the current UK TV industry

We all saw that ending coming, but #TheWarBetween still worked well for me. Turns out serialised storytelling is good, actually. Like the olden days. Also nice to see Kate Lethbridge-Stewart finally allowed to have a personality.

All I want for Christmas is a $32K spaceship recliner pod from Neiman Marcus, 1982.

James Lance (you know him, he's been in everything) looks like he thanks his hair personally every morning. Magnificent barnet. Seems like the nicest man on television. #SundayBrunch

Of all the Godzilla variants and crossovers, no matter how obscure, I think my absolute favourite has to be Godzilla Junior from the Canon photocopier adverts, squaring up against Lumon Industries.

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

Spoilers following everyone's diet for the next couple of weeks.

AI progress is now moving at the speed of "haha, that’s impressive" to "oh dear" to "oh NO" to "that's unhinged and we’re absolutely fucked" in about 6 months flat. Can’t wait for the Trumps and Putins of the world to use it as an excuse and smoke screen for the rest of their lives. Fun times ahead.

Turd number one on tappadapaps. NOT MY WORDS. #TOTP

No idea. It was 1998. I was at Uni and intoxicated. Constantly. #TOTP

There's no way in, there's no way out. It's about Wonka's Factory, yes? #TOTP

BREAKING: The Epstein files will be released in a couple of hours. Anyway, here they are.

Amy Pond's crack strikes again.

Corey Feldman is currently rocking a 'Matt Smith from Temu' aesthetic.

"I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn" The professional network:

Just realised, I finished my last perm job exactly 10 years ago today and I’ve been contracting ever since. Tomorrow, I’ve got a stage 3 of 4 interview for - beggar's belief - a perm role. Probably a long shot, but it’d be nice to not have to worry about "the next gig" for a little while.

Mary Berry is 90!? Bless her. And the secret of her young-at-heart ways? CAKE! AND CONSTANT SHERRY! It has to be.

I adore you dearly, Nigella. But Christ alive, your friends sound like an absolute coven of cunts.

Thrilled to see this materialising today, and to have my name in print. Cheers to @bazgreenland.bsky.social for giving me the opportunity to do my bit for his cracking book. Now available for you to purchase from @candyjarbooks.bsky.social.

Throwback to when Debenhams was a shop and that shop sold elf nonce merchandise.

I’d gladly pay the BBC a higher licence fee if they'd stop reporting on themselves for DJT wrongdoings. Not $10bn more, though. Jog on. Still waiting on those Epstein files, Orange Man. 🖕

This week’s going to be a slog. I’ve been ready to retire into a onesie and watch Fanny Cradock Cooks for Christmas on loop since about September. Hurry up.

ITV in partnership with The Film and TV Charity, are looking for 20 people to take part in a new pilot in January at ITV bringing freelancers from different aspects of production to, receive an ITV mentor, attend events, training and workshops. To find out more or to apply go to thegreenroom.itv

What binds these two together? (Fish fingers.) #TheWarBetween

Love the nonchalant way that the cat minced off after their owner was shot point blank in the head. Super accurate. #TheWarBetween

Shitting fuck!!! (Family friendly reaction post, there, for media outlets to cite.) #TheWarBetween

My special offer on ordering a Chinese takeaway from Just Eat... "You unlocked 2 free weeks of tailored dog food!"