Everyone have their monkey costumes ready for when the Artemis crew return, right?

"Eyes wide open, Sarah..." #DoctorWho

Pontius Pilate: Any last words? Jesus: Make chocolate eggs, then hide them. [Continues to crucify] (Presumably.)

I’ll be “praying/journaling” for swaggery little cunts like Chad to die out forever.

All that technology to take a rocket to the moon and what do they film it all on? A potato. Again.

As I keep saying They are making it plainly clear how much damage they intend to make to the UK at your cost and their profit. Not just immigrants - the disabled, elderly, sick, women etc. If you vote for them, you deserve the utter worst.

They can eject that cauliflower into the abyss, can't stand the stuff. Billions of years later: a planet made of cauliflower emerges. And the cycle of misery cuisine continues.

When they get closer to the moon, will it start to resemble Noel Fielding's face?

Congratulations to the Artemis crew and NASA, godspeed. Your new friends await you.

Just had a Labour canvasser knock on my door to secure my vote (they're the only ones who bother around here). Anyway, she said "I say this to everyone, but ignore what's happening in Westminster. He's..." and then gestures a cut throat, referring to Starmer. Reassuring campaign strategy, Labour. 👀

And how do we know? Their response to just about everything is "And I'm only 22", like it's some kind of hurdle to life itself.

I don't even need context to want to repost this, to be honest.

Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen. Two episodes in.

An extra hour of sleep, you say? My stupid circadian rhythm thinks otherwise. 🔔🔚

Don't forget: clocks go forward 1 hour at midnight every night for the next 6 months, then forward by 30 minutes on every 3rd Tuesday until September.

STICK KETTLE ON!

It has to be Doctor Who and the Talons of Weng-Chiang because yellowface. It's a wonderful story, it looks great (giant rat and all), and it's delivered perfectly. Paradoxically, every other 'Chinese face' in the story is portrayed by an appropriate actor, just not the main one. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Headline in today's Broadcast "Gary Barlow takes Jason Manford to New Zealand for ITV Travelogue" feels like the last straw. Stop telling us there's no money to make TV when you're sending dull millionaires on free holidays. FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Who is watching this shit? *eye twitch*

Can't help but think the BBC missed a trick with their new director general. Maybe next time, Emu.

New multi-purpose source quote discovered on front page of today's Sun. Am going to add this to bottom of every single story I write from now on.

Recruiter: "My client, Betfred, are looking for an experienced designer...." It was a short call.

Settled in to watch Louis Theroux: Inside The Manosphere. 90 minutes inside the thought processes of men I’d rather launch directly into the cesspit they crawled out of. Not sure if this counts as entertainment or a form of self-harm.

Victoriawood Clangerford Graham Norton Pearl Clutch Leys Pulpchester

Pompous and uninspiring. How about: Caroleanneford Mattbury Pilkington Cheeseandham Cuntwhistle

Happy 75th anniversary to Dennis the Menace and his first appearance in The Beano. They've toned him down a bit since then.

Evergreen reaction to life.

New Sunnydale is dead before it even started. Doctor Who seems to be in limbo. I'm honestly starting to think the real Hellmouth is governed by television executives. www.ign.com/articles/buf...

🚀 We're pleased to announce that we're releasing a new edition of A Pecular Effect on the BBC, a classic memoir by BBC special effects pioneer Bernard Wilkie, whose credits included Doctor Who, Quatermass and many more. Order now from tenacrebooks.co.uk

This is how I access BlueSky.

Monday.

I’m not sure they *meant* to imply that Gary Barlow ruined their day, but…

Was 'The Professionals' ever broadcast in Norway? And if so, did they keep the English title, or go with the Norwegian translation… 'Fagfolk'? Makes you think.

LinkedIn notifications: "People in your network are posting thought leadership." I’m thinking about not thinking until at least Monday. 🖕

Blimey. Engaged in a conversation, agreed with the person, expressed some empathy… and got blocked. Social media remains a fascinating place.

Argh! What have I done to my hair?! Oh it was just a dream! Thank god...

I've been doing so well but now I'm back to the usual 5 hours of broken sleep per night. Is this what new parents feel like, but with baby 'matter'?

"The right’s peculiar patriotism seeks to demolish British achievements the country is most proud of". Painfully true. I will never comprehend the logic of people who hate anything 'good'. Yes, there are always faults with any institution, but I'll still take imperfect over the alternative.

"I'm the unknown stuntman-uh, that made Redford such a staaaar-ah!" #fallfriday #fallfridays

Reminds me of when the Doctor Who comic license was with Marvel, and Stan Lee would take the credit. Basically, every thought you have belongs to Stan Lee.

"Based on Dr. Who of PBS fame." (Source.)

The Apprentice is basically a weekly reminder that if you take 12 LinkedIn posts and fuel them with cocaine and PowerPoint, they’d still struggle to sell a bottle of water to someone dying of thirst.

I'd like Google's assistant more if I could change the verbal prompt from "Hey Google" to: - Ok, computer - Oi, nosy bastard - Let's fight crime, K.I.T.T. - Power up the crystals, Cardinal

King Charles should cancel his visit to the US and we should rescind permission to use our bases. The fucking flabby nonce.

Rinse. Repeat. Daily.

Roses are red, I'm never the Bride,

Anyway, it turns out, Small Prophets on iPlayer is really good. #TheBrits