“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy

That's right. And maybe, just maybe, and stick with me here, you should negotiate a bipartisan budget agreement. If you won't, then YOU are not funding WIC or FEMA. YOU'RE THE SPEAKER. Take responsibility.

Well don't I feel stupid

This is a big ol' bucket of yikes

He hates half of all Americans. He hates every person who didn't vote for him.

Three Dog Night

Zuckerberg and Elon are total dweebs and having a gazillion dollars doesn't make them not total dweebs

The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?

Trump: F**k them kids

This statement is a complete fabrication and journalists wonder why the public is losing faith in them

"Blood libel against the South" from [checks] ah, Monroeville, Alabama native Harper Lee, who responded to a similar charge in 1966:

Now you C-D-See it, now you don't. @theonion.com

Pro tip: Don't use WhatsApp

US foreign policy update: friends alienated, enemies united, armed forces spreading mulch in DC. MAGA

I know a little something about child care. How would we pay for this? Where are we getting the staff for this? Where are we getting the facilities? Would the programs need to be licensed?

Sen. Patty Murray is right to call him a lunatic

feel like slim and fat chance should be a different amount of chance

Did everyone else know electric vehicles don't come equipped with spare tires?!?

this is doing the thing i hate most in this moment aside from the authoritarianism itself. you are not being savvy or clever when you do this. you are instead paving the way and making it easier for them. stop doing it.

wtaf

Just to be clear, I don't care about the Cracker Barrel logo

Timeline Cleanse

Luis Mey needs head down to Louisville until he gets his mechanics correct. Reds can't afford him coming out of the pen in a playoff hunt.

NARRATOR: This is Putin's war

I would rather not watch baseball than watch a national broadcast on ESPN or Fox. I can't stand these player and manager interviews during the games. Who is the audience for this?

Rubio and his people are incompetent and dangerous (to the American people)

Been trying to figure out the expression here and it’s when a dog has a grape in its mouth and you have to be like spit it out Ranger, Ranger you can’t have grape, and Ranger is like no I love grape

I, too, find myself shockingly inclined to prefer the neocons who actually want to eradicate fascism from polite society to the supposed liberals who don't seem to care

He might need to release the Epstein files to distract from the Russia summit

You're kidding <sarcasm>

what gif pops up when u type your name

Trump sending ICE agents to Newsom’s press conference is thuggish totalitarian behavior, but more than that it’s deeply pathetic, insecure, and petty.

Challenge: post your last photo taken in DC to show what a hellhole it is

I just can’t believe our Reichstag Fire is the Big Balls Beatdown.

Luis Mey needs head down to Louisville until he gets his mechanics correct. Reds can't afford him coming out of the pen in a playoff hunt.

Gerrymandering for dummies

I can either get up in Baltimore at 5 am to catch a 7:30 am flight out of BWI, or I can leisurely get up, have breakfast, make my way to DC by train, see some sights and have lunch, then take my life in my own hands to catch a 5 pm flight out of Reagan. What should I do?

I honestly believe that media's reaction to this kind of thing is, well, that tracks, so it's not news

RFK, Jr. is responsible for the death of the police officer

Planned on a ham and cheddar scram for breakfast but discovered I didn't have any cheddar. Found I did have some Cotswold left over from a dinner party and, man, it was a revelation in my scram.

LEFT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has a tattoo in honor of a family member. RIGHT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has facilitated and/or engaged in the sexual assault of over a thousand children.

Just to be clear - I don't care about Dean Cain

Putting an insane anti-vaxxer in charge of our nation's health was probably not the best idea and Trump and Senate Republicans must be held accountable for the inevitable disastrous results

/3 “Okay stand down, he is evaluating windmill side-effects” “TEAM LEAD THE PIGEON IS IN HIS MOUTH, REPEAT, THE PIGEON IS IN HIS MOUTH, WE HAVE DEAD PIGEON INGESTION, CONFIDENCE LEVEL HIGH” “It’s going to be … look, Team Member Six, have you been going to the appointments we discussed?”

The Constitution doesn't "condone" anything. Restricting government from punishing or regulating speech doesn't "condone" speech to anyone but a born totalitarian. Speech is generally protected by the First Amendment unless it falls into certain fairly well-defined exceptions, and "lying" isn't one.

you’re telling me the generation that grew up eating starbursts with the wrapper still on has plastic throughout their body?

Whether it's Donald Trump hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein, allowing Jeffrey Epstein to turn Mar-a-Lago employees into underage sex slaves, and ultimately murdering Jeffrey Epstein to hide his secrets, or it's Bill Clinton talking to Loretta Lynch on the tarmac, both presidents have dark pasts.

This is correct

Elon Musk retweeted a post saying that women were "built to be traded" like property.