Woke up at 6am with some really remarkable back pain that wasn't there when I went to bed - in other new, guess who turns 40 in 2026??

welp, the $50 puffer jacket I got from Target 10 years ago is finally starting to tear in multiple places so WOE IS ME time to go ~shoppingggg~

I think the downfall of society started when they did away with Google Reader those were the days

I know the robot doubles over because its mocap but it really does look like the robot is mocking this man and I just love that

she wanted to snuggle with the cat and watch the Mormon Wives show but instead she went to the gym: the story of a Brave Girl

12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”

living the dream

I KILLED it this Christmas, look how happy J is with his new toy

ur friendly reminder that if you haven't eaten as much cheese as wanted this year, there's still time

I need to make my overnight cinnamon rolls for christmas morning but there is a cat on me sooooooo I guess christmas is canceled?

I realized recently that my problem with podcasts is that they're so personal because they're just you and the host in your ears, so I can only listen to podcasts hosted by people I like... and I like so few people.

watching one of my true crime murder stories, they're trying to figure out who has put a hit on this mob guy reporter: "the mob gets it done on the first try" mob-adjacent interviewee: "it was so unprofessional, the whole thing. it doesn't take you 3 tries to kill somebody, it takes 2 minutes."

"Have a holly jolly Christmas" You can't tell me how to live my life

You will be visited by three spirits The spirits:

ok, it's snowing and office is closed for christmas, the way I am about to drink expensive champagne and watch some real housewives THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE Y'ALL

Abolish ICE.

just read the phrase "gorilla marketing campaign" and I will now only be making purchases if the advertisements contain one or more gorillas

Jean Wilson Brutus, a 41-year-old Haitian man, died just ONE day after entering ICE custody at Delaney Hall in Newark. His death demands immediate transparency and accountability. Human lives matter, regardless of immigration status.

I'm watching an old Miss Marple while I work today and this episode has not one but TWO Midsomer Murder murderers in the cast and I just think it's adorable how England only has like 15 total actors

WHAT IS CAUSING THE RISING DEMAND, CNN

a couple of years ago my sister made me watch Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, because older sisters are bullies, and now I make my partner watch it every year because girlfriends are also bullies #XmasSpirit

guys I was SO brave today and I did NOT go into the expensive shoe store on newbury st SO BRAVE AND STRONG AND WISE

my massage guy told me today that I don’t need the bougie massage option that I picked this time and that next time I just need to sign up for a deep tissue massage if you are wondering how my year has been

today’s goals: massage, bougie martini, xmas shopping today’s accomplishments: massage, cheap glass of wine and you know what, that’s good enough for government work

You might be thinking, "CPSC, does a dry Christmas tree really burn that much faster than a well-watered tree?" Friend, let's find out together by watching this PSA.

Makes me proud every time! Did you know we’re shipping whistles anywhere in the US? Email whistlerequests [at] proton [dot] me for your free 3D printed whistles. We’ve sent over 30,000 so far in December!

It's your birthday, Duane.

the trouble I have with Christmas is that I am very good at buying little presents for myself but apparently that is not the point? of the season?

confirmed: Benoit Blanc is a SKIMBLESTAN!!

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go. fuck yeah

dudes I upgraded to Uber Comfort because it was the only way to get a car before tomorrow and like … this is nice? maybe I should become bougie? is that the right journey for me?

if I can give life advice to the youth, try not to reach a level of importance at work that you have to be on a 9pm call with Australia

the last 24 hours have been nightmarish in their violence, and I just am so angry this is the world we are in and god damn it

He's also responsible for raising all the money that paid for bringing Hollingsworth v. Perry & even more importantly Bostic v. Schaefer, which created the circuit split that forced SCOTUS to take on Obergefell v. Hodges. The role he played in American marriage equality cannot be overstated.

Confirmed now by a reputable source.

the non-internet normies really just don't know about JKR, do they? I've had to explain her transphobia to like half a dozen people so far this month. one of them was like, "she's a bit controversial now I think" and I was like, excuse me we're going to stop the convo and unpack that a bit

I took responsibility for the wine ordering at the work dinner tonight which means my table had five bottles of Sancerre and I have no regrets

it just took me 50 min to get a car out of downtown Boston to take me home and normally I would just take the train but the train is FUCKING SHUT DOWN RIGHT NOW and this is not the future liberals want

folks we are into “breaking gerrymanders” territory here we are going to win

the green line is busted and it’s 19 degrees so I have made the first grownup decision of my life and am taking a Lyft home god I’m so responsible, people should study me

who wore it better, dumb little hat edition - Jonny depp or this weird husband from Real Housewives of Melbourne

girl you know it

I'm watching The Perfect Neighbor documentary and ... there is so much to process here, it's very rough going, but the absolute audacity of this woman to just say "No" and decline to be arrested??? "You are going with this deputy." "No." Even the cop did a double take.

I don’t want to vote for a Democrat who promises to get Trump’s voters to vote for them. I want a Democrat who wants to put Trump in prison

I tried to participate in the local #HolidayEvent and three people in inflatable holiday outfits blocked the only exit to take pictures with children and this is why I should just simply stay home because lmty the holiday spirit was not strong

ahahahah one of the real housewives of melbourne is (was) writing a book about being a working mum and last episode she was talking about her 5 nannies ahahahahah *gasp* ahaha

I think we as a people should be able to veto Netflix from taking over Warner Bros. just for this. not to disagree with the legendary norma desmond ... the movies haven't gotten that small, yet