The time it takes to write a joke, from conception to birth, is the jestation period.

Melania Trump is claiming she had no relationship with Ghislaine Maxwell. LEFT: Oct 2002 email from Melania to Ghislaine congratulating her on a pic of Jeffrey & Ghislaine appearing in New York Magazine. She signed it “Love, Melania.” RIGHT: Photo of Epstein & Maxwell in NY Magazine in Oct 2002.

That Board of Peace has been very quiet lately.

Siri, show me an allegory of the AI bubble.

As expected Attenborough’s Secret Gardens is wonderful viewing. Be sure to catch the Lake District episode for a female mole fiercely defending her honour from unwanted male advances. An amazing moment of TV.

New @reversediorama.bsky.social is here. Love that cover photo.

Heard a song on the radio and went into a shop asking for a song that was ‘something like’ My Bloody Bloody Bloody Bloody Bloody Bicycle Is Truly Fucked. It was Pearly Dewdrops Drop by The Cocteau Twins.

Scotland apparently

Tweet y’self fitter.

🎼My Daddy was a toolmaker, but he never hurt nobody. 🎶

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

Ran into a Teddy Boy in the Co-Op this afternoon. All done up in lemon yellow and black like a bumblebee. Been a long time since I saw one in the wild.

Now Arthur knew this dog, and he knew it well. It belonged to an advertising friend of his, and was called Know-Nothing-Bozo because the way its hair stood up on its head it reminded people of the President of the United States

Hi @beyondthezero.bsky.social, I just listened to your episode with David Keenan - fascinating. I’m curious however, who’s behind the song at the end? Very fresh, topical and passionate.

@barry.mogwai.scot I’m sitting here damp-eyed having just watched Everybody To Kenmure St. What a tremendous piece of work, inspiring and uplifting - and a great soundtrack. We cannot take these things for granted.

Not often you get two cheeses in a sporting headline but today is that day.

I just found that this is showing at 11:00am tomorrow locally. Sounds like a good Friday thing to do.

2 days apart

This sounds exciting.

This orange twat actually thinks that the moon is “beyond the stars”. Even our own star is 370-ish times further away than the moon.

Just ask for a book you big doodle heads! It can't be that hard can it?

Everyone remember to hide when the astronauts comes back.

A sad but powerful thread from Paul on the continuing impact of the madness that was Brexit. These things are local and real, not just abstract effects on strangers.

@stuhennigan.bsky.social - kindness abounds. See above.

Good good, it’s hell over on Facebook. Every national brand, small business, local attraction and public service has decided to join the AI age and concoct wacky images for their April Fools “jokes”.

I love when he accidentally tells the truth!

Yes, it’s on again.

Oh! Here’s an important thing, on the last day of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month: chatting to a friend, I was reminded that a lot of people believe that smear (PAP) tests screen for ovarian cancer. They don’t. There is no routine screening for ovarian cancer. 1/?

JUDAS!

Worth a minute of your time.

@rockactionrecords.scot I know how much you guys love AI. This is the sloppiest of slop…or is there something you’re not telling us?

Big if true.

Evening all.

If you see this, post a concert photo you took.

Trump has denied most disaster aid requests from Democratic-led states.

Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy

I hope recent events don’t ruin Tiger Woods chances of receiving the FIFA Best Driver award.

Presenting - Misty in Roots A magnificent show in Bristol tonight.

@simonwoodgate.bsky.social I took this one myself. That’s Alex Grey on the roof with the mic. #EveryonesALittleBitHippy

Perfect for Easter, EGGO is a two piece construction toy by Duncan Shotten*. www.instagram.com/p/C5NZFg8M4s0/

The Twilight Sad - It’s The Long Goodbye One track in and it’s massive already.

When I got a new phone, I simply installed WhatsApp and all my chat history was imported. Why can’t Morgan McSweeney or Boris Johnson do that?

Postie’s been - new from The Twilight Sad. This evening’s entertainment is all set.

The Jetsons lied to us

Always a pleasure to spin this, even more so knowing I’ll be seeing them on Friday.

@houseofall.bsky.social - Inklings. Third spin and it’s magnificent, getting under my skin.

Pete Hegseth: The problem with Iran is it spends money on weapons and missiles instead of improving life for their people. Self awareness of a potato… 🥔