Expect Meta's AI to suddenly start incorporating randomly accessing banking apps, news sites and xkcd into your workflows soon.

Tory MPs talking about Erasmus as if it’s a sleeper cell recruitment programme.

"Visitors arrive in the entrance hall, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last 20' of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh..."

And Irn-Bru & Tunnocks teacakes, obviously...

For instance, instead of writing π or 3.14, one can now elegantly write E(E(E(1,E(E(1,E(1,E(E(1,E(E(1,E(E(1,E(1,E(E(1,1),1))),1)),E(E(E(E(E(1,E(E(1,E(1,E(E(1,E(E(E(1,E(E(1,E(1,E(E(1,1),1))),1)),E(E(1,E(E(1, …

Physicist has written a fascinating big beautiful paper.Let’s not be afraid to call it what it is - groundbreaking. arxiv.org/abs/2603.21852

I'm 60 in a fortnight. If that bloody football club keep doing this I might not make it. #lufc

I'm 60 in a fortnight. If that bloody football club keep doing this I might not make it. #lufc

Here we go. *hides under table* #lufc

Things that can fuck right off #lufc

Doctor Or Jesus? Round One:

I’m not sure it has broken through to the general public that the president is a megalomaniac crazy person. Hopefully posts like this help.

What? You mean they ignored JD and the Don?

Well it is TACO Tuesday... Markets didn't even blink. Priced in presidential bullshit.

Who are the terrorists again?

Thanks to David Squires for the new verse of MOT #LUFC

And this time it's not for a playoff thank God.

We will of course now beat City in the semi and lose to Southampton in the final. It's the #lufc way. .

Never do it the way way Leeds. #lufc

Fuel duty is *already* 34p per litre lower, in real terms, than in 2010 Its been frozen or cut for 15 years Its cost the Treasury over £200bn in tax - and hugely incentivised people to keep using ICE cars and driving. It's favoured the richest If anything we should be restoring it to 2010 levels

At last, some BRILLIANT news. If you are unaware of this complete shithouse, the Sheffield Tribune have got you covered. He is the lowest of the low.

Dubai’s top British influencers have been fulsome in their praise for the UAE Government as the Iran war continues. Speaking from jail, one said, “They quite rightly locked me up for tweeting a video of a drone blowing up my apartment.” From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

🇺🇸 Trump spoke. Markets listened. Then sold off S&P 500 futures fell as the president promised to hit Iran extremely hard for weeks to come, dashing hopes for a quick end to the conflict. Brent crude, meanwhile, turned higher FT www.ft.com/content/7181...

I don't know of any Somali-Americans who've wiped away half a trillion dollars in market capitalization with one 20-minute speech.

Trying to watch the #ArtemisII launch.... and the cat wants some food. NOW PUNY HUMAN. I DO NOT WAIT FOR YOUR ROCKET LAUNCH!

How brilliant is this concept kit, Lego Fawlty Towers! Incredible detailing throughout. beta.ideas.lego.com/product-idea...

My university: "Copilot is Microsoft's AI-powered productivity service that uses large language models (LLMs) to help you create content, analyze information, summarize documents, and complete tasks more efficiently." Microsoft: LOL

Am not an energy analyst but why does seem every interview with a U.K. minister this week included a pointed question about why not drilling more in North Sea and almost none about renewables/net zero as an energy security imperative? It’s bizarre, frankly

Great question. The problem, of course, is that every other journalist in the room didn't keep asking it until they got an answer.

And there it is.

With oil prices spiking again over the weekend, we are due for another late Sunday/early Monday post from Trump about significant progress with the “peace talks.”

Every sentence brings something new to the madness. Stick it on CEEFAX.

Free Creme eggs you say? Sign me up. Also: UAE arrests. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

Nicked a packet of 4 AAs from Walmart.

At least there are going to be plenty of qualified refs on hand in the US to handle the penalty box shenanigans at the WC.

This is incredibly cool.

Six Ipswich players in that Allies team v. the Nazis and yet they let that cunt Farage in for a photo shoot. Arthur Hayes will be turning in his grave.

going back reading some of the stated uses for this tech is such a trip

Both the Wall Street Journal and The Information confirming that OpenAI is killing Sora - both the app and *access to its video-generating model for developers*. This is a huge move that suggests things are a bit desperate www.wsj.com/tech/ai/open... www.theinformation.com/articles/ope...

That always ends well.

The mess the Middle East is now in can be largely traced to one factor: Donald Trump's belief a) that international political negotiations are like New York real estate negotiations (they're not) and b) that he is a supremely skilled negotiator (he's not). 1/n

Do not click on this link. It's not 'malware' in the conventional sense, but it is a form of malware for the soul.

Note to self. Stop tempting fate. #lufc

UK authors - I urge you to read this article about a school in Manchester who removed hundreds of our books from their library they deemed ‘inappropriate’ and share. This is appalling censorship - and it’s coming from the school’s head and SLT themselves. @indexoncensorship.org

🧵 These stories really are coming thick and fast at the moment🙄 Guess what? The Canadian school is NOT 'banning food at lunchtime' during Ramadan🤦‍♀️ Obviously... And if you BELIEVED it to be true, then you need to ask why you would choose to believe such an obviously ludicrous headline? 1/20

"My pocket", "that drawer in the kitchen" and "The London Philharmonic" are all more likely to have strings than a tea bag. Bloody Americans.

Trump might not have predicted bin Laden but he certainly foresaw the current state of affairs: "There's something haphazard, impulsive and unpredictable about American foreign policy today..."

FYI: Quicksort inventor Tony Hoare reaches the base case at 92