This is a job for Secretary Petey!!!

Someone hacked my Doordash to deliver groceries to a dozen different addresses in Australia. I admire you for wanting to feed all of your friends, dude, but maybe use your own money - or at least hack someone who isn't broke.

Call me a radical leftist, but I prefer presidents who don’t have to pay women $5.6 million for rape and defamation.

I went back and forth about whether or not to post this one. But you know what? Fuck it. How else should I feel about thugs who murder random people for no reason?

Scrolling Bluesky is so surreal right now, because it looks like the world is ending, but then I watch cute cat videos and see pictures of delicious food.

Hi. So like, we can’t eat fruits or veggies, we can’t breathe the air, we can’t afford anything. When do we all get sick of this nonsense and rip the system to shreds? I’m so tired.

Taco Bell did more than the US Government.

This is America.

Every time my D&D game gets canceled, I take 4d6 emotional damage. #D&D #TTRPG

I went to a smoke shop and found it had been replaced by an apparel store... Clothes, but no cigar.

Salads that won't give you diarrhea (probably): Pasta salad Fruit salad Macaroni salad Potato salad Chicken salad Tuna salad Salads that are definitely diarrhea-adjacent: Donald Trump word salad

The House will vote on an amendment to cut off aid to Israel. It is unconscionable we continue to fund this genocidal apartheid regime. Voting YES.

I think I have a good idea for my protest sign. Thoughts?

The neighbor's chickens are laying hard boiled eggs. In other words, it's fucking hot.

I'm running a desert-themed Pathfinder game tonight and it will be extra immersive. It will be as hot here in California as it would be in the game, so my players will feel like they're actually there. #Pathfinder #PF2 #TTRPG

No funding. No “reform”. ABOLISH ICE GESTAPO.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but they're using sewage water on our food, so they can use the fresh water on data centers.

#WhereIsMitch 😂😂

guys i don’t mean to sound like a doomer but real, meaningful change happens at a rate so slow that i don’t think it’s possible to save our species and planet at the rate it’s being destroyed

Maybe killing random people isn't accidental. Maybe it's the plan all along... If ICE murders people at random, then when Trump uses them to seize polling places and prevent people from voting during midterms, everyone will be too afraid of them to do anything about it.

Overnight Oats is a convenient breakfast if you're a busy professional. Overnight Goats is a convenient breakfast if you're a busy chupacabra.

I want a vacation, just to focus on writing the lore of my D&D setting. #D&D #TTRPG

Republicans in a nutshell...

I would be so much better suited to a universe where money didn't exist. I was born in the wrong reality.

This is just another way of saying they murdered someone at random.

Discord sucks. My account got hacked and I can't log in anymore. Support couldn't help me. So I tried to make a new account, but I need to verify my phone number - which is still attached to the old hacked account. So if I want to use Discord again, I need to change my number or get a new phone.

We have reached such a level of freedom in America that the government no longer knows which companies are selling food that makes people shit themselves to death.

me trying anything #Cat #Caturday #Catsofbluesky #LifuX

I don’t know who did this, but A++ !!

Charcuterie boards are always way more filling than you think they'd be. My god, what are we going to do with all this salami and sliced cheese?

Well, 71 years is quite a long life for an invertebrate.

I rolled through Taco Bell for the first time in a while. I didn't realize that they had put in AI to take people's orders in the drive-thru. That was really creepy and unsettling. It's scary watching more and more people being replaced by robots. It's like a sci fi horror movie. #AI

That's so nice of Lindsey Graham to go visit Mitch McConnell to check up on him.

Sometimes it's hard not to feel like we're all just killing time while waiting for the world to be destroyed.

My Facebook and Discord got hacked. Someone used them to send all my friends a bunch of crypto scam bullshit. So this morning has been pretty annoying.

An objectively funny thing to do during an online D&D game: If you roll a nat 20 on Stealth, close out of your VTT and just fucking disappear for the rest of the session. #D&D ##TTRPG #VTT

Every religion has a food rule that sounds like somebody got diarrhea once and made it everyone’s problem.

I used to think evil cults in fantasy were completely unrealistic. "Why would anyone ever worship a demonic god of tyranny and lies? It's clear the leader doesn't care about his followers. Nobody would ever join a cult like that in real life." And then MAGA happened, and I understood.

It's hard to imagine a bigger loser than the kind of dude who shows up to protest against a Pride event. Imagine being so full of hate that you see a bunch of people celebrating love and think "Absolutely not, I need to go be a total douchebag to this big crowd of strangers right now."

Damn, I had a dream that I started running a new D&D campaign, and the idea for it is absolutely fire. But I don't have time to run yet another game right now. A magic school, but after the players' first year, religious fanatics take power and magic is outlawed. An Inquisition starts. #D&D #TTRPG

If a job doesn't offer you *affordable* insurance, they've told you they're fine with you dying.